Saturday, November 25, 2017

In October, February, and August We Become an African Village, Right Here in Santa Fe!

Dear Kamajou Tadfor, Founder of Afreeka Santa Fe, Fiesta Fela, Remembering Mandela and related Local Celebrations of African Culture.

Some of my favorite gifts in life, include global and African culture, music, people, poetry, cuisine, arts, dance, and community. Warm people, indigenous culture, great food, and glorious landscapes beckoned me to live in Beautiful Santa Fe, after visiting over 20 years ago. As a Santa Fe local of 18 years, it has been a similar set of qualities I've cherished, through attending seven solid years of Afreeka Santa Fe's Annual Fiesta Fela Celebration.

Fiesta Fela, from its inception has gathered the community in revelry, cultural pride, savory flavors, colorful fabrics and head wraps, live beautiful rhythms and dances of Africa. The celebration centers around Fela Kuti, whom I was blessed to know and love, across the world from Africa, and even see and hear live, in Berkeley California, nearly thirty years ago. The experience of that live concert was like no other live music concert or presenter, I had ever experienced. It lives on inside me.

I am grateful to you Kamajou Tadfor, your Family and large community of Friends. One year the festival kept a large community of familiar guests dancing into the night, at El Museo de Cultural. Every year the event grows and changes in ways that always inspire, uplift and yes, surprise the community.

We count on you and our Community to come out and shine, via vendors of authentic African food and drinks, Nigerian Batik Arts, Fine Artists, visiting artists, West African Vendors of clothing, art, drums, jewelry, and more, from the Motherland. There are always some new variety of fine crafts, treasures, specialty drinks, foods, snacks and more. This year friends and I gathered at Chef Ahmed's mobile Jambo Food Truck, for the yummiest African Cuisine and drinks around.  

The event itself, featuring African Dancers, Master Drummers, Activist Poetry, Music of the African Diaspora, North African Belly Dancers, lifts our spirits from morning, through mid day, and all the way to sunset. I don't think I've ever gone straight home after dancing, dining, and shopping my way through all of it. I even one a series of passes to yoga classes at Body, two years in a row.  So many local and visiting friends gather each year for the festival, that a tradition grows, where we keep the celebration going long into the night, as we continue, often in restaurants and bars, a mere walk from the Railyard. 

On more than one Fiesta, I have welcomed new African American guests to the event, and remained friends, after they live in Santa Fe and move on. It's always endearing to see, meet, and greet the people, who just happen by, on the event.

The artist who come and paint paintings, or sculpt live sculpture out of clay, astound guests, as their art grows energized from the music, admirers, and community alike. Dean Howell has sculpted impressive, monumental heads African Heads, three years in a row. This year the human theme was replaced by an endangered rhinoceros!

Some years the Tarnoff Art Center has set up easels, tables, painting and drawing supplies, and even pottery wheels and instruction, all for free. This year the Inspiration Squad hosted by Artist Laura Tarnoff, hosted a booth featuring our art and artists, as Laura masterfully juggled the music, community gathering, and live painting all in one day. I brought and showcased original abstract, yet between meeting new guests, socializing, eating, dancing and photographing the fun, I never touched brush and paint to a canvas. And that was perfectly fine with me. Sponanaity is the essence of the heart of the day. So I let it all show up as it did. And now I'm filled with inspiration to pour into my next painting and projects.

This year's highlights included the most colorful sea of trees backdrop I can recall in years, opening with The Swank's Brothers playing a rousing set, including an supremely funky rendition of Manu Dibango's Soul Makossa. The band from Haiti made me want to bilocate, to be in the food line, and the dance floor simultaneously. The final headliner Zimbabwean band, Prince Kudakwashe Musaruwa and the Main Ingredients of African Soul, stirred all the hearts around, activating souls and the main outdoor dance ground alike.

The event is a true treasure. I always love to donate to the event, yet love inviting guests to attend for free, as free is how it is presented.

Grants, gifting and donations help make the event the true success that it is. One of the most magical moments this year, was when our dear friend Kirsten Wing's name was called as the winner of a most gorgeous, original, hand dyed, batik quilt, by Yoruba Artist Rafiu Mustapha of Raf Remi Art. This had a lot of special meaning, symbolizing new life crossroads opening to this friend, who has newly rooted in her dream community, right here in Santa fe.

It was beautiful singing and dancing along to Nigerian Master Drummer and local Santa Fean of countless years, Akeem Ayanniyi and his local band of African Drummers. We contributed our joy, often, in call and response, as you, Kamajou, Akeem, and others shouted out, every body say "Yeah, Yeah"... "Yeah Yeah!"

We missed the friends and family, who came every year, yet now live outside of Santa Fe.

Joy was generously shared by all. Friends who came for the first time, were surprised, at all the years they'd missed. To attend one Fiesta Fela event, a Remembering Mandela Gathering, or even an impromptu African Rhythms DJ Dance Party, is to want to attend all offerings Afreeka Santa Fe Offers.

What grand expressions of your welcoming, generous, infinite African Heart for the Arts and the People. We may not be Africa officially.  But for one, two, or three days a year, the Santa Fe Railyard, or some inspiring location becomes a glorious, beautiful, friendly African Village, and we all leave with our hearts, souls, eyes, ears, feelings, and bellies smiling, satisfied and full!  We take this out and spill it over, into local community, family, and friendships alike, better for every precious moment of the festivities!

In Grace, Joy, Love and Gratitude.

May what you have created, collaborated, and set into motion, continue for countless years to come. People come and go in Santa Fe. May Fiesta Fela, and the triumphant Spirit of Fela Himself, live on in the people, here and everywhere!

Ever so much thanks. My spirit is forever renewed each time we share in this grand day!

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Love This Book, These Gifts, This Author, and This Guidance!

My Five Star Book Review of Lisa A. Romano's Memoir "The Road Back to Me," on

Thank you yet again, Lisa A. Romano.  You really came through for yourself!  And in doing so, you really came through for me and so many of us, via sharing your gifts, guidance, learning, and journey.

Grateful you are such a generous Spirit, in Form.  I see you as the Beautiful Angel you are, daring this tough mission on the Earth Plane, to come through the hidden challenges with flying colors, sharing such raw open truth.

Now, to my fellow future readers, and allies on the road back to full true selfhood:  Lisa has a lot to share.  Her book "The Road Back To Me," is delightfully easy reading.  In fact it feels like attending a cozy slumber party in your pajamas, with an old friend.

I am Lisa's age peer, and an adopted daughter of 4 lineages +, nature and nurture, of Narcissistic Borderline Personality Disorder, BiPolar Disorder, Depression, Addiction, and I suspect, feel and know: sexually predatory abuse to my Birth Mother, in the home, where I was programmed in the womb, for this life.

While I have written two books in two "Write Your Book in a Weekend," accelerated workshops, in recent years, reading Lisa's book helps me see the pitfalls, I have faced, being raised to have no self, no healthy self, and to see, feel, hear, and perceive other people's needs as somehow more valid than, or winning out over my own.  In fact, ironically, Lisa's book helped me see more clearly the whole all too human pattern, of being covertly required to lose one's self, to accommodate other maladaptive, wounded, shut down, checked out parents, and behaviors.  Lisa's life story helps me shed light on why at 52 years of age, in 2017, I am still learning how to figure out what I need, want, and choose, and how to shift old sick internal patterns to better, step by step, find my "Road Back to Me!"  Her book helps me see, and make sense of why I got so shut down, traumatized, and wounded, facing, avoiding, and detangling from my own Narcissistic Mother wounding.  Her book helps me see why I have not yet published, or even read the 2 books I wrote, under the tutelage, of a Book Whisperer/Author who's birthday season it now is.


I had already begun to explore, and gain healing and guidance from Lisa A. Romano's prolific outpouring of outstanding YouTube support videos, for Adult survivors of Narcissistic Abuse.  Today after completing her book, I went on-line, and discovered a set of 19 Guided Healing Meditations on YouTube, all with very specifically tailored foci.  That's when Lisa jumped from a human who struggled, transformed, awakened, progressed, and on her way, created countless classes, workshops, books, YouTube Videos, a Facebook Support Group, and more for the millions of us, who face our own flavor of these, all too familiar challenges, to Full Blown Angel Incarnate, in my view!

Her book eloquently draws you, the reader in, to experience her life, as if side by side, as she faces torments, ignorance, bullying, scapegoating, blind eyed "love," and worse, at the hands of her, friends, romantic, and life partners, her own self, and her parents, who, while nice, hard working people, likely, seemed to have missed the parenting 101 courses, most of humanity also missed out on, one way or the other.

Lisa A.

Lisa guides readers on an epic, "Alice in Wonderland," like journey, from seeming normalcy, down into the underbelly of the beast, that is the American Dysfunctional Family System.

She does an amazing job of expressing all the layers from, oblivious denial of reality, to her own personal flavors, of the bizarre adaptive behaviors we end up making to survive oddly preoccupied, unaware, conditionally loving, judging, fearing, controlling, shut down, closed off parents.

While my experiences were different, in may cases, I saw myself mirrored very precisely, in so many moments and details of her journey.

Knowing this confident, exuberant, expressive, successful, beautiful adult Wayshower, through her on-line presence, it is shocking to travel through her trials and travails in youth, as she experiences betrayal, emotional, and verbal abuse, as she was molded to, from early on.

She does a beautiful job of reminding you of just how oblivious to their abuse, the abusers can be.

She brings hope to many, as she somehow finds truth, help, support, validation, and guidance, on her way to become a Light Beacon of this and more, for so many of us.

Without giving away too many precious details of the reading experience, I simply recommend this book highly, to anyone who is, or has been human, and or raised by fallible, awkward, shutdown humans themselves!

This powerful gem of a guide book, is both a roadmap, a friend, a gift, a treasure, and a key, helping us find our way through so much madness, back to the light left always shining within.

It will fluff your feathers, warm your heart, and open doors on your journey, if you open your attention and simply allow it in.  This book comes wired with unconditional love, raw experience, profound wisdom, and a familiar sense of humor and triumph.

It's sort of like reading your own youthful raw journal, only it's published, her own, and offers some sort of resolution, and personal revolutions, that can be hard to find in one's own, unedited, unpublished journals.  Many of mine were so raw, I unfortunately judged them, tore them to pieces, and threw them away.  Lisa reminds us that we have access to those chronicles, whether saved, destroyed, ripped to shreds, discarded, or salvaged.  

Lisa is a living guide, who knows her terrain.  Her unquenchable curiosity, empathy, and drive rewards all who are drawn to don some flannel pajamas, and climb into the sleeping bag, by her side.  The party is growing bigger and brighter.  Jump in, and be sure to invite some of your friends! Misfits are welcome!

If you've ever wished, "if only I could change this parent, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, boss, government official, or spouse!" this book will cheer you onward, to a most empowering disillusionment, that helps you see, how irrelevant, impossible, and irreconcilable those pipe dreams truly are.  Instead you will laugh and cry your way back home, where you are seen, heard, felt, known, possible, probable, and yes, cherished, valued, valid, and lovable!

Map of the Narcissist

All that in a life story!

Get the book.  You won't be able to put it down, or read anything else till you finish!

That was my experience.

Much Thanks and Love on the road home, Lisa.

Looking forward to exploring my transformation through more of your tools, gifts, contributions, books and guidance, on the way to unleashing and opening my own, and of course to sharing you with friends and clients alike!


Namaste Dear One(s)!

Artist & Soul Artist Jen Klarfeld

Jen Klarfeld
Artist and Soul Artist 
Lead Trailblazer at Trailblazing Transformation
Santa Fe, New Mexico

P.S. Hugs and praises.  What an awesome slumber party shared!

P.P.S.  Somewhere I read or heard you joking about how you must be an Alien, because you sure felt like it, in your family!  I am trained in Dolores Cannon's Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique.  If you ever prioritize listening to Dolores lecture on YouTube, "The Three Waves of Volunteers and the New Earth, or read her book, by the same title, or any of her 19 published books of hypnotherapy transcripts, you may find you feel a special affinity for our Galactic Heritage, as well as the sheer mastery and courage we Volunteers brought into this kooky, crazy, beautiful, terrible, war filled, karma based, quarantined, experimental, ghetto of a free will based planet!

P.P.P.S.  I am currently taking a giant leap of faith, involving art and soul, in Santa Fe.  I hope to soon carry some of your books side by side with those of my other favored teachers, including Dolores and Julia Cannon, and Vianna Stibal!

Graced and Grateful!  

- Jen

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Life Review

October 26, 2017 - Santa Fe, New Mexico

Reviewing and sharing this inspiring Facebook post I wrote 3 days before my life & body jarring fall off a ladder, last year. 

Grateful to be healed, over all. 

The last 2 years has been initiatory in ways I never fully realized I had to be this strong to traverse, survive, feel, move through, gather support, and keep taking steps, through all my giant human fears, and commitments, financial, emotional, business, calling, Soul and life challenges!

It’s been really hard, and really rewarding, being single, being mostly visionary, and often attempting to grow and sustain my life and serve, while living in a business prioritizing world and nation, so fueled by predatory systems, and people. I have shut myself down a tremendous amount, in pure survival, while still keeping my my practice alive, and taking precarious steps, often alone, to birth a whole New Earth Vision, dream and business, as has been handed to me to allow, build and free.

As an empath, a Starseed, and a survivor of Narcissistic Abuse, it’s been harder than I ever bargained for. My heart is tender for all of us, who came into this Earth Plane from our respective homes and travels. I have exceptional gratitude for my Source Self, always steering my way, even when I freeze, fight, fly away, or hide, alone for long periods of transition.

I listened to a phenomenal Starseed Radio Academy Interview of Author Diana Luppi -Zoev Jho, last night, while taking grounded steps to prep my new downtown studio space.

Diana is the author of E.T. 101 an amazing manuel for Earthlings, and for the brave Starseed beings, who quite literally came in to shift millions of human lineages up out of trauma, war, abuses, enslavement and more.

You don’t have to be a specific race or color to shoulder the pain of human discord. We all came in and share in carrying, clearing, transforming, and witnessing the madness that’s passed for the shared human experience. Without music, we might not have been able to rise like the phoenix uplifting us all!

Suffice to say, I learned to put on a tough warrior stance to make it this far. The smiling, original, party-going, caring, dancing, trailblazing, perceptive, visionary, ever networking, creative socialite face I show the world, is not my whole experience. I battle my shadow, fear, shame, blame, doubt, and inner turmoil daily. In fact I bless it. It’s a huge part of this compassion school. 

This recent two years have brought tests and many ignored obligations for me to face and remedy somhow, as spiritual being, mainly a soul, in my experience. I am visiting this world, yet again, and steeped in material culture, pitched to us as evolution. Yet this world is a ghetto in our Multiverse, filled with systems, patterns and people at war within, and projecting war, parasitic patterns, predatory behaviors and huge covert predatory systems.

Learning, embodying, and voicing the deeper truth of who we are, is the bridge, solution, prize, guidance and answer to the call and response... hide and go seek, God Source forgetting our fullness, forgetting our divine feminine majesty... game!
In the recent years, I had to slow down and feel
my human fallibility, my limitations, and my real feelings. I have not finished yet. 

I also feel called to experience, express, enliven and enjoy my holy divine innocence.

Making room for all of this... for joy, simplicity, love, friendship, play and service.

Stepping out of the shackles I’ve lived, worn, carried and inherited within lineages, has been quite the formidable task. We’re stripping these binds away, together.
It’s quite the game, and quite the dance.

I don’t always know how to get from here to there, down here. And still here I am, opening to allowing the integration back into my true, new, fullness.

What a wild game of make believe.

I feel my strength slowly bounding back to me.

Easing into the ripeness, many know me by, to embody it directly for me.... to let my way be led from within, by Grace, through love, and with Heart.

It’s been surprisingly jarring, on many fronts. A shamanic dismemberment for the whole world.

What a Team I have embracing, uplifting and helping in our grand upshiftment!

Graced, awed, shocked, alarmed, and cheered, in deep Grace, Faith and Unity...Beloved Rainbow Warriors!
I love you Wild Team. 

What tough, brave and tender loving stuff we’re made of!

I love you! 💕❤️😘

October 26, 2017 Santa Fe, New Mexico

Hello Beloveds!

I just want to share some giant encouragement & say: hold on to your hats... !

Change is hitting this ripe and ready planet at such high levels.

Three friends have flown the coop of Earth, recently, leaving tears and love on their beautiful wakes!

The gifted are exploding with gifts, injustices all rising into the light of transparency and scrutiny, and people facing the tough shadow stuff, we're facing it head on, fast and furious, as is our Mother Earth!

Hearts are expanding, while imbalances once tolerated, are are no longer supported or allowed, as our truth rises ALOUD!

The Multiverse is watching, supporting, cheering us on, and eagerly drawing closer, as we awaken & blast open and off into our full "ON" settings!

Keep your humor levels on high, and your super compassion accessible, free flowing, and shared.

These are fantastic times for birthing your full heart and soul, right here.

Feel free to remind me of any of this, as we move forward!
Who loves you dearly?

I do!

Plus an infinite array of light beings and inter-dimensional winged ones! We all love you too!

Stay blessed.

Keep loving, cherishing, relishing, valuing, treasuring and seeing each unique, beautiful, bold living being!
I know it feels like we're being thrown under the bus, several times a freakin day!

Yet keep surfing it, my cherished friends and family.
And if you feel like you can't freakin handle it, call in your angels, unseens, galactics, ancestors, tree spirits, tree huggers, power animals, beings who have not actively fucked up this planet... beings who have... whatever works for you!
Know that I love you, and I am so so so blessed, and I am lifted up on my highest wings, in sharing this beguiling, mad, passionate journey with you all!

Thanks for being my Love Team!
What Courageous Souls we all truly are!!!
I salute each and every shining one of you... and every large and small act of love, and change you each live through and bring, in the awakening of divinity within this family of humanity.

You are precious to me. 

Know that forever!!!

And to the sensitive souls that had to use their break out of jail cards early... I sure treasure you dearly. Enjoy the extraordinary show on Earth.

Our commitment is to turn the love vibrations high... and abolish the war vibration so we'll, that you'll be first in line to birth into this planet of love and bliss, cause that's our manufacturing plan for the now and future!

x o x o

Heart Opening Amidst Shared #MeToo's

October 16, 2017, 11:47 PM

My heart ❤️ is really spilling over, not because I am openly sharing my personal accounts of countless experiences of sexual harassment, being flashed by naked male strangers and friends, the uninvited unzip, date rape, attempted rape and more... as I am also reading countless accounts of mostly women, yet a few brave male friend’s posts too... my heart is spilling over, feeling the shift into this, our new world, 🌎 where 5 million women, and men are sharing our experiences around interfacing with sexual predators, and the accompanying trauma we’ve lived with and through, every day. Social situations are & can be an intense and jarring experience. And I’ll tell you now, that on-line dating has had it’s share of PTSD provoking moments as well, for me. 

According to Facebook, "4.7 million people around the world have engaged in the 'Me Too' conversation on Facebook in solidarity with victims of sexual assault and sexual harassment." 

All this in the last 24 - 48 hours, and it’s spreading to France, and next... anywhere & possibly everywhere this transparency catches fire!

As a single woman, I like that a prospective date can google me, and see how boldly outgoing I am, and know that if he has sexual predator skeletons in the closet, prison records, and name changes, attempting to cover up these tarnishes to his record, I’m likely a huge flight risk.

One of the last men on a spiritual singles site, I met, actually had changed his name to hide his criminal record as a sexual predator. He had not been caught raping anyone. Yet he was on a lifetime probation of sorts, having to check in with the police and get a new mug shot annually, for multiple charges of exposing his personal pride and glory to a couple of female children. On an early phone call, he became very volatile with me, and then attacked my dietary choices. In the heat of the turbulence, me and my angel team, got him to spill forth more of his real names.

I am grateful I was protected in such an amazing bizarre way, which led to his true identity and police records. At the same time I have compassion for the human being whom I met, and his African American lineage, where brutality, abuse, and rape was likely introduced over generations, through America's history of slavery. I would not publicly expose his names, yet the story is profound. I was attempting to help a friend see the danger in her, now terminated relationship, with her, admittedly dangerous felon partner, as her friends & family exposed to me his same pattern of several name changes, to dodge and hide his criminal history.

I am moved by the reality that some men are already standing up in protection of us women, and some revealing predatory, or harassment activities, they joined peer pressure, into participating in.

As a ThetaHealer a Past Life Regression Hypnotherapist, and a facilitator of Dolores Cannon’s QHHT, and one grounded in shamanic journeying, it is an awesome experience to get to assist people through multiple levels of such traumas, healing, feeling old closed down feelings, and more.

Again, my experience is that all people we label as “perpetrators & sexual predators” have some wounding victim experiences in their own past. I’ve experienced more gray space in this exploration, than black and white!
I am completely awed, strengthened and faith filled, trailblazing side by side, hand in hand, with my fellow brave Sisters and Brothers, Family and Friends, clients and associates, who have battled such hardships, traumas, and challenges, of sexual and other forms of abuse. Many to go on to create art and express voices and visions to truly reshape this earth. You people... we people are my hero’s, including Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, Louise Hay, founder of Hay House Publishing, Teal Swan, and Wayne Dyer, who spoke so openly about his alcoholic father. Many abuse survivors go on to become powerful compassionate Healers. I don’t honor it often enough, yet in truth, both of those categories include me. 

Thank you all my peers. Thank you to my Earth brothers Harvey Weinstein, Donald Trump, Bill Cosby, & Bill Clinton, and for fueling our healing!

And hand in hand, got your back, protective, encouraging safety and love, to all my friends and family who have lived through traumas of rape, the spectrum of sexually predatory behaviors, assaults, mugging, harassments, emotional, verbal, physical, and narcissistic abuses, and war.

To me, when I look at the outrageous corruption, in all the major systems on living Mama Gaia, I see we still live amidst systems that are crazed travesties of predatory expressions of war.

When my vegetarian, vegan, artist, teacher Friend Pamela recently expressed her deep secret views, fears, sensitivities and research into what is sick and out of balance about the meat & livestock industry, I was really mad, shocked, and defensive. I still enjoy an omnivorous diet. In fact for me as an adoptee, food and meat are a form of security.

Yet after some awkward shared on-line debates with Pam, even though I am still eating meat, of all varieties, I did get a big "aha," that our current meat consumption in America, & beyond, as well as the mistreatment of billions of animals, drugged, imprisoned, and treated inhumanely, until death by slaughtering to feed, billions of habitual carnivore humans like me, is still really a crude expression of war, more than a conscious, kind celebration of life.

So in closing, this wild vulnerable explosion💥 of truth around sexual abuses, has been, and continues triggering a mass cleansing of human Earthly souls! It’s opening us all up together, which is really the richest and most healing surprise. Like the natural disasters, this is uniting us beyond class, color, race and age lines! We’re only getting started.
It feels the Woodstock of humanity's sexual abuse, and their/our resulting trauma’s most giant global group therapy ever! And what’s super wild, is how it’s all free!

Hugs and love my mighty Shero’s and Hero’s.
The Goddess is arising!

The giant shame anchoring secret & lie of my life, was that I was the only 14 year old girl on my freshman high school class, feeling both joy and shame, for participating in the exact same kind of sexual experimentation, & coming of age exploits, the boys were taught to seek out, and take pride in, and brag to the world about!

Those days of double standards died today. That’s why I like and love ❤️ us and what we all survived. Because we contributed to the transformation, and to bringing transparency back into vast arrays of this living world. We set ourselves, our histories, traumas, cultures, streets, communities, timelines, and lineages as well as women, men, children, elders and babies... and our world 🌎 free today!

What a grand passage we are initiating, for all, and beyond time!

I feel clear and free, with some residual sadness.
I feel like we’re taking a curtain call & starting a whole new show. Let’s treat each other accordingly! 

I love you ❤️ my brave Family!

Me Too

October 16, 2017, 4:00 PM

Facebook says there are about a million and a half women, and people sharing #MeToo - in response to the invitation to share and raise awareness on the question, and hot as hell topic of “Have you been sexually harassed assaulted and or abused?” 

I’m 52, female & outspoken, open minded, open hearted, outgoing, impassioned and social. So are you kidding me?... I could write a book on the countless times I can say absolutely, “metoo” and the countless times I’ve blurred the lines between sex and love, power over, and healthy attention, right up to this very moment. 

And yes, as a woman, I have definitely misused my sexuality to get my own needs met, and hold some sort of power over men socialized to not say “no” to sexuality, women, or the intoxicating combination of both! It’s a murky spectrum from the innocence & joy of enchantment and attraction, interaction and attention, to the extremes of brutality, abuse, Narcissistic abuses, power over, conquering & our bizarre socialization, which often empowers forms of sexual terrorism. Let’s call it what it is #SexualTerrorism !

May our millions turn to billions, as in truthful, direct open conversations, on social media, blog posts, in cafe’s, therapeutic settings, private dialogs between friends and family, youth and elders, and all of women who have voice to give to genuine experiences of trauma, harm, abuse, betrayal and misuse of power.

Some are even married, while still enslaved by modern shackles of money, Narcissist partners, abuse, misogyny, control, and betrayal. These are the women and men who can’t blog today about how many women their husbands have had secret affairs with, because their lifestyle, (ie) current survival, may be locked down in a sea of lies. Easier to share tales of dick picks, and uninvited unzips in cars, and gropes in social settings, than some of what still passes for abuse, harassment and abuses of power, right here at home.
The soul has more to share, say and heal around this, if you know you are primarily a soul. If not give it a few lifetimes, as you come back and play all roles!

Last night I saw a few friends’ big bold posts of #MeToo. “What do they mean?” I wondered. When I searched on Facebook, around 36,000 people were posting about our experiences with sexual predators, abuses and the whole spectrum of sexual assault. Less than 24 hours later millions of people on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook are opening up our vulnerability, our personal histories, and memories of sexual abuse. 

Some of my memories go back as early as womb time, as an Adoptee. I got off to a kind of savvy start, only a lot of this came into consciousness some time in my late thirties. Some confirmed, & some never can be. Still a patchwork quilt in process, as for all of us, featuring secrets, lies, experiences and stories active in our lineages, our DNA, our memories, our histories, our past lives, and more. At times this added vulnerability and magnetism to attracting predatory men and people, as well as sexual predators into my often open, innocent, pure hearted nature, field and life!Throughout my journey, this also attuned my 6th sense, my knowing, my instinctual intuitive knowing, and my empathy around friends, pets and people who have both been victims to abuse, and also predators of people!

There have been so many instances where my radar has picked up on children, women and people’s signals which vibe out as red flags of sexual predatory abuses. 

I have, for the most part, barged in and spoken my fears, and knowings. Most of the time I have been met with barriers, ingrained generational and cultural walls, where I can get information in, yet I can not get it out, or make a difference. I have also learned to honor karma. If my path involved these countless instances of sexual abuse, projection and harm, and yours includes your flavors and styles, maybe there is a line in the sand, my soul is not authorized to cross.

So at times I have been scapegoated, ostracized, criticized, and attacked by people in life, for asking the obvious and impossible questions. There are a lot of conversations I would still welcome, and share, with those who have not yet been able to open to them. I have grown into deeper acceptance, that sometimes the best I can do is bud in, test the responses, bud out, and trust, that’s their soul’s journey, and ultimately business between God, and them, for now!
Our memories (the stuff that shaped us,) as well as our communities, schools, religions, workplaces, families, travels, governments, the collective, the media, and our larger history, are filled with abuses of power. Our sexual expression and communication is a giant outlet, where the shadow of these traumas, abuses, healing, and empowerment all takes place!

I came home and filled 2 note pads with my own memories of falling prey to sexually predatory people, and experiences. I read more, and the more I read, the more buried memories were triggered.

The more I remember, process, and read, the more I feel, sadness, rage, faith, hope, validation, healing, acceptance, blame, shame, pain, relief, release, forgiveness, and ultimately empowerment.

Truth is, we’re living on madly raped, pillaged, stolen land, amidst a young, predatory, invader race nation, built upon the revenges of war, conquest, enslavement, rape, genocide, destruction, misogyny, class & race wars, and rampant ongoing terrorism and destruction. 

Thank Goddess, that’s not the only truth. The bigger truth centers as we rise, speak, spread, and share these, our truths. 

My truth and feeling is, we presently face the peril of tragically remaining closed, broken victims and perpetrators, regarding sexual, race, class and all forms of power abuses, if we do not include the soul, in our material experiences!
In other words, shamanism, therapy, voicing truth tenderly and listening to friends voice theirs, the arts, spiritual community, books, film, media, social networks, music, and all the arts, anchor my crucial awakening, renewal, healing and empowerment! I am proud, ecstatic, grateful, and filled to overflowing, to gift and share, receive and be gifted, and also to steward and possess tools and a voice to inspire, empower, and facilitate the empowerment of my self and my fellow explorers, through the ravages of this old world, as it is collapsing.

No topic to take lightly, to me, and simultaneously I feel such a gusher of pure power unleashed in our coming together, illuminating our traumas, fears, experiences and tears, your experiences and vulnerabilities, and my own. 

This is true power #TruePower !
This is #Empowerment !
This is #PowerWith & #TruePower !
This is the true power I’m talking about!
This empowerment conversation absolutely includes openly expressing our sexual power, and within it, sharing our experiences of sexual trauma, abuses of power, and ultimately our healing, our realizations, our transformations, and our triumphs. 

I came here to live and tell a victor’s story. My victim story is embedded in my larger story of transformation, healing, truth, trust, vision and openness. 

I am this empowerment story. I let the expression of these emergent Souls upshifting, uplift and inform me.
Women are powerful, sexuality is powerful, men are, and can be powerful, and we carry long long lineages of abuses of every kind and style.

Here is a response I wrote , to another “metoo”Jennifer post:
“A powerful share, Jennifer. Thank you. You triggered a memory I had buried, of working alone in a rugby shirt shop, in San Francisco, when a Handsome young male Mexican tourist spent a long time in the dressing room, only to flash me naked, while I was in my young 20’s, while alone in the small shop. Weirdly he was polite afterwards, and claimed it was part of an experiment for his college psychology class. I think I smiled and said, “I don’t think so!”
As you bring up, it’s a fine line, as long as we are in physical embodiment!

As women we’re taught to be healthy, beautiful, impassioned and warm. We are also all of these innately, and more.
It’s rampant. We joke about it. Saturday night I was out at a gallery opening where the topic turned to “the power of the pussy.” This is the weirdest world 🌎! May we keep healing, rising and guiding our betterment, here on her. Sadly the raping and pillaging of women, children and people, has carried out into the rape of the world! We are here turning it around. I feel so much heart and soulful empowerment as we rise up and openly share our “MeToo‘s!"

I feel like mine needs and deserves a whole screenplay! Still mulling it all over & all I’ve come to, on the healing path of empowerment!

I read people & their body language. I hug almost everyone. I have become close friends with a fair number of men who started out with creepy overtones. Some of them, I later learned were victims themselves of sexual abuse. Often I am overly trusting and open. Throughout my life this trips men’s switches. I have been streaked at alone, a minimum of 3 times. Well more if you include those guys whose clothes I couldn’t get back on! One streaker was actually an inebriated homeless man, pleasuring himself naked, in an open trench coat. That haunted me for a while. 

Everyone’s posts are triggering my aha’s, empathy, compassion, healing, wounding, memories, resilience & how profoundly powerful we are!

Women and humans are packed with power.
The perpetrators were all formed into perpetrators, in part through being victimized first. It’s a broad spectrum, this predatory sexuality. You expressed well the small moments of socialization, where hurt people express hurt in sick ways, on us, so to speak.

Thanks for adding your awareness to ours!”
- Jen Klarfeld #metoo

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Resources for Understanding and Recovery from Narcissists

Art by Jen Klarfeld

Do you ever feel undermined by others, in odd ways that seem to have nothing to do with you? Have you ever felt like you're not the captain of your own LIFE's ship? Then this list may be of supreme help for you!

In my own journey as an Energetic Sensitive, Empath, and Early Indigo, it has really helped me to learn about the influence of Narcissists, and how to recover my authentic, whole healthy self, as I de-install some of their programs, and disentangle from their taunts, energies, traps and lies.
In my Life and work, I like to get to the root of pain, problems, disease and discomfort.

I know there is a huge trend in both the spiritual and the Ascension Communities to glide by the way of a lot of spiritual bypassing, as in pretending we're a mind, or a no-mind, while rising above, and ignoring our human feelings. I am trained in these approaches some too. They feel good, for an hour here, and a weekend there. Until all that has been repressed turns into illness, or other energetic traps. Another extreme is being so identified with pain and problems that they are one's whole world, and one can fall into using these identifications to play the victim role, and actually inappropriately feed off of others energy, like the world is their long lost mother.

A lot to navigate down here, huh?

My new drive is releasing so many imposed shackles and yokes I have politely shouldered, worn, and carried, for family members, friends, acquaintances, lineages, communities, employers, clients, relations, religions, guilt trippers, Narcissists, systems, a few lovers, and sometimes even strangers.

When I release myself from old slave programs, familial hand me downs, lineage shackles and programs, societal yokes, fellow human's psychic hooks, burdens, and lies, and ultimately my own stored soul programs yokes, shackles, masks, identifications, reactions, and prisons, and the general need to be loved, liked, or understood by anyone, and or everyone... it sure becomes easier to allow and feel my own true feelings which are a vital part of my soul guidance system.

Art by Jen Klarfeld

While exploring the human journey, I have joined friends in researching and healing the scars of Narcissistic Abuse. It's such a wild journey.

One of our favorite Guides on the way is Lisa A. Romano. Follow my links on this list to subscribe to her Youtube playlist of resources for insights, answers, healing and guidance. Order her books on If you need more support, join her Private Facebook group at "Lisa A. Romano Healing from Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse."
My experience is that the Earth is free, the waters are free, the air, elements, galaxy and universe are free, as the humans also are free, only the humans are playing out some other baggage, simultaneously.

To grow into our total truth, wholeness, and freedom, we are individually, and collectively called to sort through, which aspects of the human shadow we are still willing to drag around, and which ones we are healthier giving back!
This is a huge part of my passion, within the human experience. I am an enthusiastic fan of the human soul, and our journey.

Mandala Art Colored and Altered by Jen Klarfeld

Humans fascinate me!

If any of this speaks to you, please follow my link, investigate, explore, express, learn, and find encouragement, support, and uplifting resources!

To learn how I facilitate explorers through the soul expansion arts, feel welcome to visit my website at

We are not to blame, our friends and family are not really here to attack back and or blame. These resources are more about helping us better learn and understand the rules to a game, that were often never clarified, expressed, or explained.

Narcissists are operating mostly through unconscious programs, patterns, reactions, and habits, and often have little to no capacity to see, or safely dialog about their responsibility in how they interact, shame, attack, sting, guilt, humiliate, and scapegoat strangers, service providers, waiters, children, grown children, lovers, ex- lovers, enemies, nations, students, and friends!

Please share this link with friends, family and associates who may benefit, by taking this painful subject out of the shadows, and into the light. Many struggling to reclaim our full selves, are isolated, uninformed, and somewhat unsupported!
A little information goes a long way!

Some traits of the Narcissist include:

1. Black and white thinking... always never, all or nothing.

2. Continually blaming outside sources, people, institutions, family members, and generalized groups, for their own victimization.

3. Scapegoating: or as I like to describe it: "I feel like shit... so it must be your fault!"

4. Abusing authority, and disrespecting family, friends, associates and strangers.

5. Wielding jealousy in strange surprising ways.

6. Borderline tendencies border back and forth between fear, then rage, then fear, then rage.

7. Exhibiting "the turn." Children of Narcissists are all too familiar with this intimidating clue. This is when the eyes of the Narcissist fill up with a kind of mischievous poisonous, intent to harm look. This is a clue that their inner fear has crossed into the outer rage category.

8. Holes in the bucket. All the love and good you share easily dissipates, and leaks out, only to be replaced by a weird array of lack, shame, pain, blame, fear and insecurity.

9. Narcissists have no trust of you, and no trust in themselves.

10. No capacity for real intimacy.

11. Sometimes a strong victim identification.

12. No real ability to see, allow, or honor the real you.

13. No real self, more of an act.

14. Narcissists, over and over again, fall into reckless displays of volatility and rage.

15. Narcissists specialize in fear, more than share faith.

16. Cannot self reflect.

17. Often hysterical, and reactive.

18. Hierarchical.

19. Needs validation from external sources.

20. Falls into lack, fear and blame, even when well provided for.

21. Lies, ridicules and attacks those closest to her or him, both behind their back and directly to their face.

22. Starkly different treatment of individuals and groups, adoring a chosen few, while scapegoating another disposable, hated, scapegoated few. They definitely play favorites.

23. May prefer the opposite sex, over the same sex.

24. Uses abandonment or threats of abandonment to control loved ones.

25. Minimizes, devalues, negates, and diminishes others.

26. Gets bored easily.

27. May have poor to no boundaries at all.

28. Uses you to get their needs met.

29. Blames you for not being controllable!

30. Coercive, and or verbally abusive.

31. Acts like everything about you, is actually about them, because often they don't or can't even see you.

32. Cannot be accountable, or remember abuses rendered, spoken, or projected, because the Narcissist's brain chemistry feeds off it's victim, during bouts of the Narc's volatility.

33. Acts warm and caring in public, and abuses certain targets, covertly, in private.

34. Has little to no self esteem.

35. Is highly threatened when called on their abuses!

36. Feels attacked and shuts down when called on their abuses.

37. Attacks or shuts down, when other people express real feelings, as it's all about them, or valueless, or boring.

38. Expresses outlandish, unrealistic, unquenchable needs and projections.

39. Is often unfulfillable.

40. Lives in a constant state of inflated pride, pretending to be someone important, or more rich, powerful, influential, or healthy than others. It's all for show, and they cannot feel this internally.

41. In truth, at the core the Narcissist feels insignificant, unworthy, and cut off.

42. Without some study, and intervention, their insecurity, hopelessness, helplessness, volatility, and rage, pain, lack blame, shame, and blind rage will be passed down to the next generation!

43. Disgust, undermining, indifference, or outright jealousy, when loved ones around them make genuine friends, or experience and share genuine love.

44. Not genuinely interested in self responsibility, accountability, or individual therapy, unless backed into a dire corner.

45. Boundaries are not their thing. They often perceive others' setting boundaries, as a threat or a violation to them.

46. They will use therapy, or promises of therapy, to manipulate loved ones. If they participate in therapy, their preferred choice is to pay for it, control it, and drag other close parties in to scapegoat and blame, while they fund, and thus manipulate the experience as if they are sudenly an expert in the field.

47. Narcissists are often dissociated, and are not always capable of making safe choices and decisions for themselves, yet push out, caring loved ones who would and could intervene and or help.

48. Many lovers, children, employees, clients, and friends can become highly dissociated in the face of dissociated negating narcissists.

49. The ways in which Narcissists are emotionally stunted and shut down, often leave people in their

50. Narcissists easily fall into the role of victim, martyr, or both.

51. Sometimes Narcissists use their victim status to buy love and attention, after driving loved ones away with their sick behaviors!

52. Narcissists are mostly motivated by what they can get out of you and others.

53. Some therapists will not take a Narcissist on, as a client, as Narcissists are more likely than healthy patients to sue their therapists, doctors, healers, and helpers.

54. Narcissists often need to feel and establish themselves as higher, smarter, and wiser than you. They are their car, their neighborhood, their college degree, their credentials, and the financial and class status. The loss of any of these masks, or their outer reputation, is like death to them.

55. To the Narcissist, the world is generally hostile, especially to them.

56. Anything you ever tell them, can and will be used against you.

57. Their accusations often include the word "always."

58. Narcissists can be self endangering, addictive, highly unconscious, and equally endangering to others.

59. Narcissists want you to live dependent on them, and to prove and rub it in, that you couldn't have succeeded, won, survived, and or made it without them.

60. Narcissists need to shove you down, to lift themselves up.

61. Narcissists don;t truly want to hear most of what you have to say.

62. Narcissists do not value you. Narcissists do not value themselves.

63. Narcissists will use you to get their needs met. They may have sex with your lover, steel your boyfriend, steel your business vision, steel your plan. They don't really care, and will do it with no remorse.

64. Narcissists will offer to help you, and pull the rug out from under you, when you are no longer needed, or they get tired, or bored, or no longer see you as valid, beneficial, or useful in meeting their needs.

65. And again, the Narcissist can't really see you. To them, you are more of them.

66. No territory or moment, thought, plan or personal reality is off limits to them. They will call you on the phone, roam around in your head, and tell you where you are, and what you are thinking. They still have no idea you are not them.

67. Narcissists surround themselves with very accommodating, highly flexible friends.

68. You just can't win with the Narcissist. The talk behind your back, when you are to weak. They talk behind your back when you are too strong. They talk behind your back, no matter what you do or don't do!

69. If you divorce a narcissist, they will attack and devalue you to your shared children, as long as possible.

70. Narcissists don't always know how to credit others, thanks others, or truly apologize.

71. Narcissists don't always have the capacity to listen, or express tolerance, or acceptance.

72. In families, communities, and social settings, Narcissists, often require, and set up a scapegoat.

73. Narcissists may never fully offer forgiveness. They will hold onto a grudge, and 50 years later, use it against you.

74. Narcissists can fear for safety, theirs and theirs masquerading as yours, at any and all life stages, regardless of their wealth or poverty.

75. Narcissists often win your trust, draw you in, and then attack, then repeat, and repeat again. It is confusing, and a lot more dangerous and painful, than people who are mostly trustworthy and authentic, or people who are mostly tyrannical. Narcissists play out the whole gamut, winning your trust, kicking you in the balls, winning your trust, sabotaging your trust. Their trust account is overdrawn... so their inclined to mess with yours.
76. Narcissists are sick. Many can not be treated with mere pharmaceuticals. Most are unwilling and or incapable of sincere self reflection.

77. Narcissists and healthy people are very different from each other. One of the hardest aspects of being raised by a narcissist, is that it's all one knows, or half of what one knows. Decades can go by, and a victim of narcissistic abuse may not understand the abuse, or know how to escape from or heal its effects.

There are lots of healthy people out there. It may take the recovering victim, or co-dependent, a healthy sum of time, to learn the differences between healthy parents, self, friends, and relationships, and unhealthy ones. It's well worth the effort.

78. The Narcissist is certain that it's everyone else's fault, that the Narcissist lives a life consumed in suffering. This makes it extra tricky for the Empath, and or Co-dependent, to identify the unhealthy patterns, discover their roots, employ healing, receive validation, and reclaim wholeness, worth, and innocence. Still it is a tremendous and valuable initiation!

One More Favorite Resource to Share, a Valuable Resource: The Book: Understanding The Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship, by Christine Ann Lawson

Resources for Understanding and Recovery from Narcissists... YouTube Playlist by Jen Klarfeld: