Wednesday, March 3, 2010

This Infinite Gift of... Who I Am!

This is an amazing journey, this one we are sharing.  The gifts pouring forth from the Infinite Source flowing through all of us, are deeply amazing and awakening so many new connections, truths, much synchronicy, deep knowing, purpose and more, of who I truly am, and this true source in the reflections of so many, perhaps All of my fellow explorers.

We are all woven so beautifully together, as the present energy of Oneness, unfolds our Deep True Cosmic SELF, throughout all of life.  I am experiencing this, and we are sharing it together, many of the explorer friends I connect with, now.

I was invited by a facebook friend, Matthew Sherril, a fellow artist, mystic, initiate and soul traveler, to partake in a ceremony, shared talk, and book signing, led by Michele Ama Wehali, this recent weekend.

Having met Michele, at a sacred ceremony circle, led by Connie Buffalo, years earlier, I recalled her power, vision, strength, and then newly birthed book.  Yes, I certainly was interested.

I showed up, Saturday morning, to a house, up a snow covered hill, running outside of time.  I found my way through the back, healing room space, through a group gathering room, and upstairs, quietly following the sounds of a sacred circle.  I entered and was signed in, as the circle opened to accommodate the twelfth addition.

Michele, author, of "Journey to the The Fifth World," was to me, then a powerful author, and fellow Starseed, steeped in Shamanic Journeying experience, whom I had met and shared ceremony with once.  I took her card, originally, as a possible prospect for Past Life Regression, with me, and with an interest and hope to one day read her book.

Suddenly, I found myself, on Saturday Morning, seated in sacred space, with fellow initiates, exploring, twenty or more years of Michele's Shamanic Qwest and Life initiation, as she had studied Mayan, Native American and Peruvian Sacred Ways, amongst others.  She shared powerful prophecies, insights, and experiences.  I could feel her heart centering, and appreciated her experientially centered open mindedness into star dimensions, other life expressions, and even openly commenting about how much of the truth, true ways, and connection, run deeper than, religions, deeper than what some shamans and teachings are taught to access, and more.

She led us on two inner journeys, calling in spirits, and journeying to the Rainbow Goddess, Ix Chel, through the Mayan ways.

Our second journey began with a fire ceremony, and a calling in of the jaguar powers of the various directions.

Even though I am usually extremely outgoing, open and as my friend Link, said, upon meeting me, years ago, "Jen, shyness eludes you!," I came through the first ceremony, struck with so much power, resonating through, that I was not aware of how to gather it up, and freely communicate it.  "How would I fit so much mystical exploration into words, let alone into words, and minds made small, and strange by so much of our historical EARTH conditioning?"  I wondered.  This is why shamans and seers have more infinite mediums of healing, art, song, music, gazing, toning, vibration, connection, poetry, stories, "myths" and drama.

Now, back in the looming rush of my human callings, I am still at a loss for knowing how to fit a tour through dimensions, beyond space and time, into our dimension, space, time, society, and words?

Let's see.  Literally, let's see!  Without consulting any notes, dashed off later, my journey begins as  jauguar, itself, as I once experienced in a shamanic journey circle, nearly 20 years ago, in California.

As jaguar, I walk down primal stairways, into the lower world, or the belly of this world.  I am the spotted jaguar, and with others, then I become the black jaguar, descending alone.  Next I descend through a tunnel like drop, like in "Alice in Wonderland," as in other journeys before, only I note the tunnel like movement is through fire.  I experience knowing, "this is fire, not just light, but fire!"

I travel through portals of light, and experience dancing as fire itself.  This fire dancing feels freeing and natural, revealing the fluidity of my true nature, with ease, relish and delight!

This fire experience, transforms into an experience of soaking in hot waters, like the hot springs of the Earth.  I take this in, this experience of embrace, and containment, cleansing and connection within the warm waters.  This experience in the waters brings in a lover, a Mayan Lover, yet as I surrender into the cosmic dance of love sharing union, with my lover, there comes a sense of being this Cosmic Mayan Couple, being the unity shared within the love dance of Creation.  Embodying this cosmic LOVE sharing and expressing, this Cosmic Unity and Surrender, my awareness takes in the reality, that as oneness itself, this is REAL LOVE, this being both the living divine feminine force, and simultaneously being this divine male creation force, all in one.  Dancing as all reality, centering in one divine coupling.  From this divine dance of loving surrender, a vibrational healing and knowing vibrates through all the divine LOVE connection I have shared and felt, even and especially all those Earthly LOVE connections that could not be made to work, for more than a brief lingering recognition.  I immediately recognized that this Cosmic LOVE connection, is what all other seemingly lesser LOVE longings are yearning for, within me, my life, and my history/herstory!  And at the same time, I awaken within, this reality, where the divine union, is all inclusive of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine, within me!  Within this, I get that this is the LOVE that meets itself within me, and contains all the love I share, feel, and experience, out in this world.  The reason it feels hard to translate into the circle, feels like taboo, still, to articulate, or even fit into words and share with a group of explorers, mostly new to me, is that most of our programing, in modern American and global life, is saturated and processed through filters of shaming, damning gods, societies, religions, culture, music, media, and more.  We have been taught to see LOVE and Sexuality through filters of fear, ego, separation, individuality, neediness, lack, shame, and most especially through imposed and habitualized filters of small, undeserving, disconnected, un-evolved humans, who see divinity, and unity outside ourselves, or not at all, hence every bad country-western, codependent "love"-song, and bad TV show and movie that portrays this same.  Then we were raised, most of us, by poor, sorry parents and grandparents, with the same kind of lost, separate, vain, hating, controlling male God outside of you, shame.  I grew up with parents who only knew how to express love to me, and rarely any real warmth or love between each other, through their 20 year marriage.

Later in the journey, I experience dancing as "Thunderbird Woman," as woman on my lower half, and winged bird as my upper half.  I wonder of seeing only one of myself, and multiply into a circle of us, yet quickly morph back into one, and wonder about all of this.  I danced round the fire, at the circle of the cave like, or night space.  I dance to the beat of the drum, to the heart beat of this world.  Knowing comes, that the oneness is who I am and what I am expressing, so I do not need a "group" dancing with me, as I am at once, dancing the ONENESS of ALL of Creation through my one bird-woman self!  I am containing ALL of this ONE, as this ONE contains all of me!

I experience and see more portals of light, rainbow colored lights, and both cosmic butterfly and pyramid shapes.  The pyramids always appear to be seen, as if from above.  The altered, quick drum beat brings us quickly back.

I return with awe and amazement, taking in the experience from within, shining it out, silently, and taking in the circle we return to.  In an unfamiliar experience, I return with so much vast, multidimensional knowing and gifts, that I can not imagine how to fit any of this into words, let alone to share it.  I realize much of the experience is deeply vibrational.

After more talking, sharing, expressing, and silence, and during, I watch a magical fountain of water, a spring, from above, pouring, down, a string of water, outside the window, behind fellow explorers, behind the male counterpart of a sacred couple sitting across from me.  This water feels like a secret gift, only I can see.  It vibrationally weaves together the water I soak in, within the journey, and still it communicated more within me, beyond the understanding of my mind.

The second journey is entered through a fire ceremony, and a calling in of the jaguar spirits of all different directions.  We are given instructions of what to open up to.  I take in something about our chakras and the Jaguar Spirits, and my conscious mind bats away the second part of the instruction, as I trust taking it in at a soul level, to allow all I need, and whatever my guidance blends and weaves in with the formal invite.

I experience the second journey quite differently.  This experience brings more VIBRATION, less vision, more auditory guidance.  I travel as the black jaguar again, and then see less, wondering, like a salesman on a slow month, why this journey is not flooded with cool visuals and more, like the last.  I allow whatever deeper transformation is unfolding, beyond the mere comprehension, of my little separate Earthly mind!  I surrender to this energy, as Vibrational experience unfolds.  At one key point, I experience this knowing, at a sentence forms within, observing a shocking "judgement," something about how I have sat parked on a shelf, waiting, on hold, for most of my life, or so I believe, notice and see, in this moment.  At the same time of this recognition, I feel it clearing away, like yesterday's news.  As this vibrational awareness clears, the reality and awareness, as insight and knowing completely replace it, as,"this ends now!"  I deeply know: "I am now expressing my more full, vital, connected, true, infinite SOURCE, no matter what I think, feel, or notice others thinking or feeling in response!"

Next I expand into the "download" experience, as I feel deep shifting from the Core of Creation, through the Core of my Being.  I allow this shifting, this experience, this knowing.  I hear and speak within this knowing, that comes through in a most experiential way.  "I am the Mother of Creation" I receive, transmit and simultaneously know and speak from within!  "I am the Father of Creation!"  "I am the Universe!"  "I AM!"  This comes through as a direct transmission from me, at the heart, core and center of Creation." 

I feel the shifting in knowing all of ONESESS as who I am!  I contain all of Creation.  As All of Creation, I birth all of this, as this one point of this creation.  I see from this perspective, from this knowing, that I embody all of Creation, and choose to come to Earth and play with ALL of this, here.  A realization and a decision comes through, a knowing, that I am not going to send this away, or shut this down.  I am not going to invite all this and all it contains to leave, and I am not going to ever again "call it in, as shamanic superstition or ritual maintains!"  I AM THIS LIVING SOURCE OF ALL OF CREATION!  I am not going to pretend not to be all of this any more!

The drum speeds up and calls us back to the circle.  I feel this morphing, this shifting between containing and birthing all of Creation, and retaining this knowing, and somehow integrating this Eternal Living Truth, this LOVE LIGHT, this Oneness, this SOURCE, back into the identity, and human experience and body, lying here, adjusting to the experience of this body, and now beginning to again sit up, and take my place in the CIRCLE!

My most grand awareness is of the whole knowing, the whole experience.  I realize this is an initiation!  "This is some grand initiation!"  I take it in.  I and my fellow journeyers have birthed expansive downloads of each one's experience of this!  This is Oneness!  This is I-dentity.  This is the big taboo secret, the big truth we are all here, with intention and or, at least, inner knowing and drive to open, know and live!  This is "The Journey to the Fifth World.  This is the "REALITY" we Lightbringers came to experience, know, birth, share and co-create here on Earth.  We are here birthing, downloading and co-creating this!

We bring this back, and all stand, one at a time, led by Michele, before the Spirit of the Fire, and speak, one by one, to Creation, of what we feel called to express.  Some speak with heart, through Silence.  What my fellow Creators speak and share is emblazoned on the light of my SOUL.  This is very multidimensional, and likely, much more than outwardly appears, is synchronized, in this connection.

What do I share?

I am possibly third, so I am raw and fresh, emanating the VIBRATION, with out stepping out, into mind much, to plan.  I speak in the moment.  I say something which includes: "I am humbled, I am in awe, I feel amazement.  I am INFINITE!  I am grateful.  I am surprised.  I am the Mother of Creation, I am the Father of Creation.  I AM.  I am guided and know that I am not closing down, opening up, calling this in, or sending it back out.  I am this!  I am grateful.  I am here to experience, and embody this Infinite Source, that I am.  And I now see this emanating out through the eyes of my fellow Creators, and we mirror this back and forth, ALL around and through.  We are One.

As Loving Kindness!

In Lak' ech,

I am Another Yourself!

Michele speaks this ancient Mayan Greeting many times, as more and more it awakens the deep, multidimensional reality of its knowing, of our knowing.  Divinity, the spark of life, the Mother and Father of Creation, we are ALL this, birthing ourselves into the playground of magical, infinite, playful, creative, loving, light beaming Cosmic LIFE on Earth, and beyond.

There is much more, yet for now I encode and contain my jigsaw puzzle piece of it ALL, into this knowing: