Thursday, December 29, 2016

Good Bye 2016... Just When I am Starting to Fully Appreciate You!

So Grateful... So blessed!

There is so much I feel inspired to share with you all, that I have kept more silent than usual. 2016 did away with usual.  

I fell off a ladder two months ago, buying my human identity a huge time out.  I had agreed to some radical life changes, taking on a co-lease, with my Soul Friend LyndaStar Thompson, and a solo lease of the front 450 sq feet of a public space for my arts and soul arts studio, a block and a half South of the Santa Fe Plaza. I am co-leasing this little dream space, as of 11/1/16.  Eleven days prior to my initiatory fall, I journaled that if I didn't step forward into my Soul gifts, I would continue to fall backwards. Needless to say, I have not journaled much since!

The business side of building my transformational practice, and bridging my writing, and art to the world, has been challenging to say the least. Most of the time, I feel like I've got two right brains, and no left brain at all. I'm all Indigo Visionary Spirit. I have built and shared a lot, considering.

Last year I got gifted an unexpected giant leap in my grown up financial responsibilities. I have learned a lot about how not to go about home repair and upgrading. I have learned a lot about how not to approach much of life! I learned this all through direct experience.

While I was told I grew up in a community of privilege, I mourn now, my crazy life with no garage door opener, no kitchen sink disposal, and no modern dishwasher.  

I live on a dirt road, in a community filled with artists, mystics, healers, and people who love beauty. The beauty of Santa Fe, New Mexico astounds me newly and boldly, every single day.

2016 invited me down roads I never expected to traverse, frankly. I made the most of them, amidst inner turmoil, rebellion, and gratitude as well.

It has been my dream to paint, and boldly express my unique soul, openly and freely, in a public venue. While I have secured the luxury of an art studio in my own home, I have not given my full energy to really enlivening my gifts in it, as I still wish to.

I found my anxiety at attempting to bridge these worlds, gifts, and prime directives, with the turbulent energies of adulthood, change, and crazy, unpredicted 2016 challenges to be more unbearable than usual, this year. I researched therapists, and did something, I've never done, in this way before. I committed nine months of 2016 to receiving transpersonal and art therapy, to face, and heal my modern human anxiety. I started the year with a healing pilgrimage to Wickenburg and Sedona Arizona.  

While on one hand, my responsibilities increased, on the other, I could not bare to live, blowing most of myself off anymore!

So as I step back, and look at it, I am inspired to see and say, that what I have gained in the energies of 2016, in serving myself first, and in slowing down and learning to receive, is an opening into new levels of joy and freedom, I am both easing and leaping into newly, now! 

I am grateful to all the mighty beings, seen and unseen, who have helped me... help me, this year. These are awesome muscles to activate!

Seventeen years into my life in Santa Fe, I am the open door, allowing me to synthesize lifetimes of Soulfulness, and lifetimes of creative expression, into something, even I don't fully know what it is yet!

This surrender appeals to me greatly!

My soulful wise therapist, whom I saw as my "Outer Guide," gave me my walking papers, early this month, and read me a critical paragraph, from my twenty page intake essay, that seemed to assure, that I am who and where I've longed to be!

She reminded me, "Do you know you have two art studios now?"  I thought of all the art I create at my friend Laura Tarnoff's Art studio, and smiled, honoring the reality where I have three art studios!

I had a Soul Reading years ago with my Friend Bernard Gross, here in Santa Fe. He saw me eating more granola, and having multiple art studios, large sprawling art studios, where I make totem like soul art for specific individuals.  

I experimented, and made one for myself, years later, where I blended my soul tools, with my creative expression through painting. It blew me away... the whole experience.  

After learning many processes, and insights from countless beloved teachers, I finally tuned in, connected with our Creator, and was gifted this spontaneous process, experience, unique soul gifts, and visual art expressions.

The Universe... Multiverse and my Team of Seens and Unseens, have rallied round my Heart, Soul and Being, and said... "Hey Kid... you envisioned this... take it... it's yours... and it's ours, and we are so excited to help you house and birth your dreams in the Mecca of Art and Artists, Spirit and Soulfulness!"

And so there is more to come, than what has even been, yet, and what has been, has been a lot!

I am grateful, above all, excited, and oh so curious.

Whatever this all is, as I can receive and embody, and accept all of these beautiful, em-powerful gifts, it fuels my curiosity, interest and fascination with what all will come through, as I tune into Fellow Bright Spirits, like me and like you.

Closing out the best and worst of 2016, I find myself grateful to be so blessed, and still get to share so much!

Namaste, You Beautiful Beings You!