Today I had an experience within my practice, of wanting to give a client the world of all the juicy guidance, healing, clarity of purpose, confirmation, and more... in one all encompassing session.
We covered a lot of ground, secured radical changes, shined light in important areas, and recycled some highly debilitating root beliefs, in trade for a beautiful bouquet of empowering downloads.
The ThetaHealing was very powerful, and I perceived and felt it as life changing.
Yet the Dolores Quantum Healing Hypnosis did not come easily.This can be highly frustrating for the explorer.
Sometimes even I have sabotaged receiving a session, with a super tall order, when I am under heightened pressures.
Throughout my life, the drive to secure guidance from the Source of my Being, has been a primary motivation. When I am unable to assist in garnering this for a client, It is hard on me as well as all the frustrations the client has to face.
I am reminded that one of my core life lessons is "baby steps."
One theme that came up today, for me, is my question, observation, and awareness that I see two major self sabotaging patterns in my history, friends, and at times clients. One is a vicious circle of emotions locking one in a raging, small prison. The other is compounded by a relationship with marijuana use, and the spirits this attracts.
A handful of times I have watched people who live like a rolling stone, all evacuees of their hometowns, states, and sometimes countries, creating a life of circling, running from pain, running to pot, drugs, to new horizons, new geography, harboring anger, and falling into isolation, and inevitably danger, crisis, loss, physical challenges, and more.
Sometimes I can succeed in inducing beneficial trance states, and assisting to bring change. Sometimes the pressure is too high, to access resources, when individual baby steps are still called for.
Sometimes I need to use the Brian Weiss Past Life Regression, that is more long, drawn out, and well, down to Earth.
Sometimes people are angry, tired, and want to be saved, freed, and or guided completely and fully, yet other aspects are not ready for this level of exposure and accountability, all at once.
I still feel more enriched than not, and always have something to learn from holding this sacred space.
It reminds me that I am not a healer in my own mind's eye, so much as a facilitator. Before this I am a human being who originally struggled against my own challenges, handicaps, and pains, enough to learn tools to help me find my way back home to my true self, in tiny increments.
I used to think one day I would graduate beyond failures, my own, and those shared with clients.
Dolores reminds, "Even Jesus could not help everyone."
What do I think about marijuana, herbal medicines, drug addiction and other forms of addiction? I bless my early experiences in life, when nature and love enhanced my bliss. I bless my youthful escapades seeking love in the quick fix of spontaneous decisions. I bless my days of dancing at Grateful Dead shows, high as a kite, and loving every moment of it. I bless my experiences getting to learn the shadow side of drugs. I bless the freedoms and doors opened in tandem with pot and alcohol, before I learned to open those doors with my own Being!
I bless the healthy loved ones in my family and life, who modeled balanced, whole, loving living, to a degree that I found my way naturally. I bless teachers and artists who proclaimed and guided the way to self discovery, to infinite inner resources of who you and I truly are. I bless that when I now associate with people who enjoy ingesting and smoking pot, they over all sense not to invite or include me in the need to numb my brain, fog my consciousness, or feel called to reach for an external substance to fill, alter or numb my self.
I admire and envy some of their looseness, freedoms, their Earth connection, and creative outpouring. I do not envy the roller coaster of living and chaos, the jones-ing for something outside, or the imbalance of life, health, attention, or rest.
I still love food, and Midwestern fare. I read labels and eat as healthy as I can. I may abuse a bag of GMO free, organic corn chips and green chile salsa, instead of pulling a night of bong hits, these days. That's OK by me. I 'm still human, and still learning.
I do not judge the choices of others for them. I do note patterns.
When I was spinning out, smoking pot, and isolating myself from the mainstream masses, in my first year at a big ten, midwest college... I got pretty lost in, friends dropped away pretty quickly. There were kids progressing with school and life, and me, falling into my awkward, rebellious, lost downward spiral. It served me for a while, to avoid the downward spiral of conventional life. Yet it was not sustaining, uplifting, balanced, whole, healthy, or valuing, as an ongoing lifestyle choice for me. I could not focus in real ways on therapists, school, responsibilities, friends, family, life or my future, let alone my present.
I was good at daydreaming, sleep deprivation, dangerous living, and blowing smoke rings and spirals into the sky!
I have come to associate the pot smoking lifestyle with pain, suppressed rage, numbing out, self enslavement, brain fog, victimhood, mania, narcissism, abuse, woundology bonding, feeling lost, hopeless, helpless, imprisoned, stuck, deadened, habitualized, and eventually spiraling downhill, and away from one's full potential, wholeness, vitality, clarity, nature, and direction. I associate it with escapism, and with running away. I associate it with expecting to be saved, the reggae chip on the shoulder, the down Babylon projections and blame, and a level of chaos that no longer appeals to me. You could say I've outgrown my youthful love affair with pot. I have.
A few exceptions come to mind, yet for every exception I can also think of friends who have experienced train wrecks of lives, at one time or another befriending and accepting pot as their lover.
I would maybe enjoy it in a sacred context, in nature, with a really soulful, trustworthy friend whom I admire. Yet the more I live, the less appeal it has. I moved away from the desire, need and craving, as I moved into my full being. I value clarity, accountability, connection in my community, direct creativity, and empowerment from inside... much more now.
Well that's a really long tale to share why I love this video by Ralph Smart: "Can Psychedelics Take You to Heaven?" I am really relieved that my generation was so opened to psychedelics. They opened me and prepared me for the world I live in now, where we tap into the resources of who we are more directly.
I am grateful I was not a casualty of rage, mental illness, drug abuse or alcohol addiction. I slid down all of those slides with my friends, and solo, early on. I am grateful it led back out... and back into who I truly am!
Thank you. I know this is a charged subject. My strong views mainly reflect on me. I welcome you to find empowerment in a bounty of ways that may welcome and celebrate the substance relishing path. Who knows what is true for whom? I relish it all.
P.S. We are Heaven!