Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Into the Blue - Early Shamanic and Hypnotic Journeys of Trailblazer Jen Klarfeld

Treasures From the Turquoise Blue Mexican Bookshelf of Jen Journals, Sketchbooks and Photo Albums

My First Group
Hypnotherapy Experience
at Renewal Institute
back in 1993

Tonight I dug into and received guidance to read and publicly share some very precious journeys, from over twenty years ago, when I lived in San Francisco, and was expanding my quest for Self discovery and direction.

By this time, I had already dropped out of a major Midwestern University, fled my bitter cold Midwestern homeland, and moved West, to be near my Dad.  I found my way to the rigorous world of advertising studies, at a small business oriented Art College, in the city. I went from pure fun with little focus, to pure focus and work with little fun, experiencing my second college experience as equally limiting, and not so very resonant with me.

It was all about this world, and I was soon to learn, I am not!

The Famous1989 Loma Prieta 
Earthquake of San Francisco  and 
Beyond, Measuring 6.9 on the Richter Scale

I took my first clairvoyant class in 1989.  The evening I was scheduled for my free psychic reading, the city and outlying areas were rocked by the giant Loma Prieta 1989 Earthquake. I walked and rode the bus from my Dad's real estate office, to the psychic school, only to be assured we could reschedule.  I felt it was a sign, that getting the psychic reading was a huge crossroads for me, as the earth shook right before!  Now I'm sure it was.

I roomed with a clairvoyant, world traveler, artist & art teacher named Pamela, who opened me to the magic of psychic readings and clairvoyant trainings.  I went on to attend clairvoyant trainings in San Francisco, Marin County, and later Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Michael Harner

My next mystical adventure step was Shamanic Training with Michael Harner, followed by shamanic journeying with his organization, transpersonal programs, community shamanic circles, and later in Santa Fe with Sandra Ingerman.

Sandra Ingerman

It was shortly after the first shamanic training, that I experienced my first life changing Alchemical Hypnotherapy Regression Session, with a young rookie named Adam, whom I recall seeing at the Mind Body Spirit Expos, regressing all the girls to past lives, where they would cry, right there in the middle of the giant, bustling event.

I was so impressed that I scoured the Bay Area, and found resonance and a strong pull to train in Alchemical Hypnotherapy at Renewal Institute, in San Leandro California, with Reverend William Thornton.

Every moment amazed me.

His stories live on in me, as if they were my own.  Some other day, you may get one or two of them out of me.

For now, I'll stick close to home, and share my own story.

Here is my very first trance experience of my training at Renewal Institute, from a group induction, whereby our teacher led the whole class in experiencing our own trance journeys simultaneously, and still individually.
Here is what I found in my big artsy journal:

3/4/93 - Journey Led by Bill Thornton - First Evening of Alchemical Hypnotherapy Training > at Renewal Institute, San Leandro California

Induction Demonstration:

Walk down "ten Stairs"... stairs in green hallway with table, at Renewal Center. Then think to walk down stairs of a Mayan Temple.  Given suggestion to walk through a door at the end. Then I go back to "Renewal stairs," to a doorway.

I find it is a natural wood door with similar plain wood handle, and a 3 paned, pie piece shaped, half circle window in the top of the door. Go through door (to SubConscious Mind).(Suggestion of path.)

Find myself on a path that is very curvy and winding, like a river in New Guinea.  Path runs through a vast amount of vegetation, like a tropical jungle or rain forest...and lots of color and shapes, wildly covering as far as the eye can see, with the exception of the clear way of the path running through.

Art by Raw Creation Artist Jen Klarfeld

Walking down path, follow path, observing brightly colored thick vegetation, flowers, fruit, plants, and trees. Late, but after noon, while sun shines, due to trees and foliage overhead, and mist. Tropical jungle. (Upon questioning) and note that my shoes are black patent leather Mary Janes, along with white tights and a blue dress, which makes me giggle to explain. Very giddy and silly sometimes.

Feel as though age, somewhere around eight years old. Very excited to be here, as I enjoy adventures so.

I meet, (upon suggestion), the adult Jen and tell her about my adventures, and enjoyment of them. Then I go up ahead, on my own, as eight year old Jen. I wish to meet someone along my way, but instead come upon a hut.  It is very dry, and it seems it was abandoned long ago. It is dusty, and dry, dirty, and dark, and contains only one table, and some small chairs, and not really anything else.  It is rather small, and not much larger than its contents. 

Apache Grass Hut with Baskets Outside

I have a sense that it is very ancient, and has been unattended for quite some time. When asked if it seems like a place I'd like to come back to, I say "no." Also I do not recall having ever been here before. I believe that the table and chairs need to be removed from inside, and that some cleaning and change might be helpful. It would make a better empty solitary space, without the clutter of the chairs and table. 

As I remain there, the hut seems to warm up with a glowing light. It's as if a warm golden and amber fire is burning inside. The fire is unique, in that it seems to burn in a tiny, dry, old straw hut, and yet at the same time, it warms the hut, and renews its inviting quality, while not endangering it in any way.

Warm Inviting Peaceful Hut

The fire does not ever threaten to consume the hut, only enlivening and creating warmth inside, which emanates  out, beyond the small hut itself. Hut transforms from ancient dry, dirty, dark, cluttered, unattended hut, to warm empty, emanating, radiant, inviting, peaceful, uncluttered hut.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Because Sometimes it's Good to Loosen Up and Let Go!

TODAY: My car has a flat tire, my new client blew me off, my cat made a very tall secret pile of shit that revealed it's dried out remains to me... all this morning.
Last night I denied myself of my full rights to sleep.
Today I punished my cats with a surly attitude, a dramatic opera of screaming, and big bumpy delays on the road to breakfast...
Today I punished my self with a surly attitude, a dramatic opera of screaming, and big bumpy delays on the road to breakfast...
I am tired of competing to gain freedom, secure my home, build my career, & to acquire all that I blew off, rebelling against what seemed unreal & unhappy. Tired of a rat race I was never remotely attracted to.
Tired of writing myself out of the starring role in my own life expression, more than I realize. Tired of the uncertainty I dish out as my reality, every single day. Tired of putting up false fronts of strength and leadership, when I too am falling apart, frequently.
Tired of chasing my tail and landing nowhere new.

Tired of the politics, pains and dramas of this world.
Tired of being human, when I could be a jaguar, or a house cat!
Tired of spam & scam artists' e-mails & phone calls.
Exhausted from overtaxed adrenals, hyper sensitivity, PTSD, codependency... taking too much too personally, from recycling like it's a Renaissance art form, & from seeing too much from what I read in people's eyes, before they even talk to me.
Tired from the human majority orientation to predatory hustling our sister and brother man!
Tired of taking on high maintenance everything.
Tired of thinking I know what I am here to do, and how to do it.
Tired of my controlling mind, and my inability to run away whenever I want to.
Tired of marketing and managing a life that costs so much more than it earns me still.
Tired of doing it all alone & believing I have to.
Tired of being enemies with routine, planning, budgeting, money, time, numbers, patriarchy, and the entire left side of the brain.
Tired of not collaborating, dancing, & playing more.
Tired of locking myself indoors, like a prisoner, when I have free will, and a hankering for the great outdoors, let alone physical movement.
Tired of all these problems we have in human form.
Tired of complaining, mine, yours, and most of us here.
Tired of my loud mind!
Tired of telling myself I feel lonely, then feeling lonely to match.
Tired of being unloving to myself.
Tired of being unloving with others.
Tired of feeling trapped, alone, poor, and hopeless.
Tired of acting helpless, martyred & enslaved.

Grateful this is temporary, and that who I truly am is vast, beautiful, powerful, influential, divine, inspirational, GUIDED, connected, gifted and free!
Grateful to live on an amazing planet, in this amazing oasis.
Grateful to live in a beautiful, peaceful, earthy home, where I can swear, yell, scream and cry, without pestering anyone, or attracting the police!
Grateful to be alive, experience feelings, enjoy receptivity, develop mastery, acknowledge biases, and step in shit once in a while.
Grateful for my breath and my body.
Graced and grateful: I'm a woman!
Grateful I get to follow my heart & ricochet back from feelings of powerlessness... to experiences of freedom.
Grateful for my expansive consciousness, and our ability to run towards, often!
Grateful for my bold heart.
Grateful for my expressive nature.
Grateful for my curiosity. Grateful for my knowing.
Grateful I am the Mother Father Goddess God Presence... when I shut up & listen, or when I talk right over my own vast sparkling divinity & wholeness.
Glad I am this loud, messy, impassioned, original, one of a kind, go-getter.
Glad I love so much!
Grateful for my messy, beautiful immediate family, birth family, soul family, earth family, galactic family, heavenly family, unseen family, & Land of Enchantment family, as well as you: my virtual family!
Grateful & graced by my love of life & colors, people & creatures, nature & beauty, culture & soul expression, perception, writing, dancing, singing, music, art, books & more!
Grateful for my love, my friends, my community circles, my heroes, my peeps, my weaknesses, my lessons, & my strengths.
Grateful for my sense of humor & my utterly comical human love-life.
Grateful for my passions & for my Pinterest page: 
Who knew a bulliten board could be so gy-normous!
Grateful for my ADHD Attention Dialed into a Higher Dimension & my lower nature, embodied right here, (within my full nature!)
Grateful for my ability to walk and talk, and the fact the one family birthed and sent me away, and another received me, cleaned my dirty butt, and nourished my body, mind, spirit, soul & being!
Grateful to be edjumacated, each and every day.
Grateful for my Thunderbird Nature, which jars the crap out of me and others, every time a thunderbolt hits the ground from our collective being!
Grateful for the contrast pushing me towards what truly fulfills me, in place of what I historically settled for, or convinced myself would.
Grateful for my juiciness!
Grateful for my successes and failures, and ours as a collective, and for all the guidance we receive from SOURCE, Angels, Archangels, Spirit Guides, Power Animals, Companions, Family, Friends, & Soul Kin.
Grateful for the collective of vast radiant galactic beings, of whom we are made.
Grateful for stories, songs, paintings, baskets, weavings, poetry, dance, theater, prints, photos, sculpture, rivers, clouds, earth, stars, planets, and sky!
Grateful for who we all are, our human mis-steps, mistakes, problems, grievances, imperfections, brokeness, troubles, and blues.
Grateful for our torrential human mood swings. What would music be without them?
Grateful for our tears, and giggles... burps and wiggles.
Grateful for our human pain and suffering, and the truths these hide and reveal.
Grateful for the opportunity to laugh, cry, break, heal, war within, rise above, and kiss someone real.
Grateful for who we all are and our daring & courage to even attempt to create heaven right here in embodiment, let alone our ability to get a foothold, and build a fine & decent foundation.
Grateful for all the tricksters, heyokas, clowns, & bullies, who show up to polish our diamond light and ignite profound flames of mirrors and lesson.
Grateful for all my resistance, that unwieldily anchor to all human suffering!
Goddess bless allowing, certainty, knowing, greatness, freedom, purpose, rhythm, fluidity, humility, trust and love!
Goddess bless us all!
Infinite cheers to you and to me, and to all of us... and the muddy, bloody, shiny, sparkly adventures we slog through each and everyday, in human form. If this were all it was for, it would make for a pretty sad & strenuous set up.
Yet if our souls set this all into motion with grand purpose and design, as I sense, trust and know is so, then we're giants, blazing this bright freedom trail to a bold, expressive heaven, right smack in the middle of who we all are!
Grateful that while I was twisting and fussing, wreathing and screaming at my loss of control within the human game... it's morphed into a truly glorious beautiful day!
Shine on Beloved Kindred Ones!
Flat tire photo credit: from the Discount Tire Blog... Google images search.