3-D Division, and Quantum Leaping into our 5-D Loving Unity!

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My response to a seeming, racist smear campaign against me, by someone of mixed race, in my local and on-line community.

Sharing this response post, to one of the most over-the-top, rage filled, racist projections, I have experienced in decades, towards me, by someone apparently highly conflicted inside, projecting her personal, and familial, and cultural hate, racism, devaluation, and the pain locked inside her, on social media, onto me, after my responding openly and honestly on a political post, on a local musician friend's wall.

I refuse to shut my heart down, and withhold my truth, simply because some may degrade it, within their own fear and pain projections. The fear of others, is not the definition of where I live. Yet it takes me some extra effort to navigate these challenges, due to my own human frailties, challenges, and programming. For me it is a life long, lives-long process of healing, and transformation, loving, and learning.

My response, after being targeted and ganged up on by the daughter of someone I have shared a treasured friendship with, over 20 years in Santa Fe, and after being blindly attacked and abused by other friends of friends who do not at all know me, in reality. I am not divided inside, as much as Americans and America is being systematically warred against to be, right now. I'm being tested, like many of us, and don't even blame the haters. I just know who I am. And I feel an immense sadness, and pain inside of me, to be abused in these high school clique like attacks. This is all part of our growing through this awkward, painful divide, and rebirth of sorts. Not trying to diminish, nor take away from other's experiences, perceptions, nor any of it.

I also wish to share this, because I have lived above the hate that was inflicted upon me in my own dysfunctional, tribal family of origins, and in socialization within my life, and communities. And I just want to hold harmony, true love, empathy and understanding that is mine, through all of this change. And I want to shed light on the haters, whatever perceptions and sides they align with, both the haters in my family, and in our community. And I want to say, I feel painful emotions too, I hear you, and I am not the enemy. Your pain is worthy of feeling, expressing, and getting help to feel, process, and finding support through processing. And it's important for me to see, know, and speak aloud, that I am not the cause of your pain, I am not your scapegoat, I am not the dangers you fear, out in the world. And I am not willing to pretend I am, nor am I a garbage dump for unprocessed pain of people whom I love, up close, or from far away. I am just not. I am not an adversary, nor am I an opponent, nor a stereotype, nor a threat. I don't need validation from people who can't see who I really even am, anyway.

Here is my response to getting dragged into racist hate, at a level I don't buy into, or fan the flames of intentionally, ever. Rather I hold views, as a human, and an American, that are under fire, as many people's views, and realities are, right now.

Hey, Local Friend that was always outwardly kind to me, prior to 2020. You're Mom was one of the first Artists who related to me, and welcomed me and gave me her original art, on layaway, when I was new in Santa Fe, years ago. I have 6 of her original paintings and prints, in my home, that bring me great joy. I do love your parents, and was given a CD of your music, years before you met me, and I felt a feeling of love, care, admiration, respect, and kvelling over you, as well.

I'm not outwardly a person of color. I fell in love with a man from West Africa, and after traveling there, did not feel that if he wished to move back, that much of what impassions me, in my healing work, even had any outlet there. Upon visiting, the family and culture was more into Christianity. I'm not so much religious.

So your projections on me are ironic, and I must conclude, not even about me, to me. I feel a lot of self hate projections, which is hard, as I was adopted, and my living parent is still filled with self hate and projections, and dumps these on me, in shocking moments. So yes your hate is painful to me. I don't expect you to be my friend if you don't see value in me. The healing work I do is for people who have a level of self trust, where they connect with Creator, and I facilitate their reconnection with the Source, and resources within them, so the one I lean into and trust, assisting my clients, are my clients themselves. I facilitate healing modalities with anyone who is drawn to, and shares a passion for the Soul, my teachers, and my offerings. I never really pushed it on you, anyone, nor anyone of color.

The people who seek me out for help, do so out of trust and resonance, not limiting their view of me to racist views, and separation. Wow.

I wish you only the best in your life.

When we spoke outside a grocery store, I experienced and expressed genuine valuing of your life, and you shared vulnerable topics, and I had no idea you may have had judgements about me, and or therapists, and or white people who hold space for our own transformational process, and those of others. Just Wow.

Ironically, I did see your Mom, in a grocery store parking lot, and it was after you had unfriended me, and I felt a horrible dread, over having been dumped by you, wondering if I am cast as an enemy of the whole family, now. I did not walk over and greet your Mom, as I have done over 20 years of shared friendship to me. Instead I felt really sad, and divided inside.

Tell you what, you define you, and I'lll define me, and if you can't share kindness with me anymore, in public, or on-line, let's let that be about you and your filters, and your unhealed wounds. I'm on my own healing curve myself, and feel bad to even participate in your pain, hate, racism, and judgement projections.

You want to hate Trump, go for it. I hate injustice, and racism, and have throughout my life, and learning about, and experiencing of them. Please don't project your judgements of Trump on me, because I am not him, and I am not fighting for racism, nor inequality, not corruption, when I simply see the possibility of Communism, the threats of Satanic Controllers, and indefinite fear and lockdown for the world, as manipulations, I stand against.

I see people fighting about cages, literal cages, cages of perceptions, and cages of projections. I want to live larger than this. I want to help myself and true friends through these challenging initiations. Yet I have to let go, and let people be who and where they are, as I speak openly to myself, and my friends, and community, about how I am willing to participate, and how I am not. And about what I hold as truth, and what I let others hold as their truth, yet know it does not define me from outside.

For my whole adult life, since I was 15, I have not experienced myself in the stereotypes much of society desperately clings to.

I am not apologetic for this. It is a spiritual gift I bring to the Earth plane. I couldn't trade it in, if I tried. Nor should I have to. If it irritates you, or you judge it, that's yours to face, and explore.

No it has not been easy, to see the souls in humans, when they, sometimes, can't even see the light in their own eyes, let alone the strength and qualities I see in them. Yet I would not turn my gifts down for anyone, nor anything. I am sure I have turned my gifts down, to fit in, to be loved, to be fed, and sustained from outside. Yet I am here trailblazing a whole new frequency into humanity, and I am at home within myself, and still learning to fully see, value, own, express, and contribute all the gifts my soul brings to the Earthly table.

Being real is nothing to feel ashamed of, within the dynamics of a healthy upbringing, a healthy family, healthy friendships, and healthy associations. Many of us have established, refined, transformed, and awoken these strengths within. It is not us who are sick. Yet it is not us who are always seen and valued from outside either. It's an inside job, at a certain point in the game. An inside job that is not always easy, or supported. Yet it is an inside job, that is worthy, valuable, rewarding, and ultimately sustaining. It is a hard won inner job, that once such resources are hard won, they can not be looted, undermined, nor broken, by forces outside, no matter how pained and desperate the detractors may act, or seem. They are merely facing their own wounds, and growth imperatives.

I never expected, at 55 years old, to have to play into hate, fear, blame, and scapegoating, on the scale that is unfurling in Americans, and in Humanity right now. Or maybe my soul knew all along, of the initiations that were coming, and why. It's still a shock for my human aspects, and my startled, scared inner child, still uncertain about my basic survival, and that of humanity, and America. Gratefully I have faith, I trust in my wholeness, and I trust in unity, wholeness, faith, and transformation within my nation, our human family, and our world.

In conclusion I love you. I love me. My coming to this life stage is both healthy, well nurtured, and hard won. How you feel about me, is none of my business, unless you have time, patience, will, and kindness to see the actual me, and not the propagandized, fear filtered version. That's your trash to deal with. And if you chose not to clean it up, I have virtually no say in that, except this expression to my self, my friends, and my community.

I will remain open in heart and soul to you, and to your shadow casting clique of bullying haters. That's me. That's how I lead life. That ultimately reflects on me, and my soul, and my capacity for valuing life, and my fellow admirable beings. I know these times are not easy to navigate for any of us. Still I am willing. And I release you back to your comfort zone, and or your discomfort zone, and back beyond both to the comfort zone where we met, before all this manufactured discord!

See you on the flip-side. And true deep divine love to all of us, sharing, caring, and giving our best, before, during, and after the big staged divide show! I trust we are bigger, brighter, and better than all this chaos, divide, and mayhem. Still I do hold faith in the changes many of us are holding light to traverse, and birth our world through.

InLakesh: I am another yourself!

Love and authenticity on the journey.

Love and faith through our Ascension.

Truly,

Jen

Shamans, Artists, Angels, and Miracles, all come within my new Friendship with Death!

William Blake

   

DEATH

GRADUATION  -  CELEBRATION  -  INITIATION  -  COSMIC VACATION  -  TRANSITION  - EXALTATION  -  CONTINUATION  - NEW CHAPTER  -  DIVINE UPGRADE  -  RENEWAL  - ELEVATION  -  CHANGE  -  ALTERATION  -  TRANSFORMATION  - RELOCATION  -  CONVERSION  -  GROWTH  -  EXPANSION  -  PASSAGE  -  REBIRTH  -  UPHEAVAL  -  

NEW BEGINNING  -  RELEASE  -  EXIT  -  EXIT STAGE LEFT  -  NEW ASSIGNMENT  -  CROSSROADS  -  EVOLUTION  -  METAMORPHOSIS  -  RESIGNATION  -  RELEASE  -  LIFE AFTER DEATH  -  LIFE BETWEEN LIVES  - LIFE AFTER LIFE  - DEPARTURE  -  SURRENDER  - DISMEMBERMENT  -  HOMECOMING  -  DISEMBODIMENT  -  EVOLVEMENT  -  NATURAL PROCESS  -  MATURATION  -  BIRTH  -  UNFOLDING  - FLOWING  - UPROOTING  -  REPLANTING  -  SPIRALING  -  EMANCIPATION  -    FLOWERING  -  TAKING FLIGHT  -   LEAVE TAKING  - SIGNING OFF  -  COMPLETION  -  REUNION  -  RETURNING THE PHYSICAL LOANER VEHICLE  -  RELEASING THE PAIN BODY  -  DELIVERANCE  -  COSMIC REUNION  -  RETURN  -  RESTING IN PEACE  - RECYCLING TO THE LIGHT  -  REGROUPING  -  RESTING IN PEACE  - SETTING FREE  - RETURNING TO ONENESS  - ANGEL ASSIGNMENT  -  LIBERATION  -  TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL  -  LEAVING THE LOWER EMOTIONAL REGISTER  -  DROPPING ILLUSION  - ENTERING TRUTH  -  UNCHAINING  -  DIVINITY IN MOTION  -  RETURNING TO THE GODDESS  -  EVAPORATING  -  UNSHACKLING  -  FREEING  -  TRAVELING  -   TRAILBLAZING  -  SOVEREIGNTY  -  TOURING THE DIMENSIONS  -  MAGNIFICATION  -  SURFING THE ZUVUYA  -  FREEDOM  -  RETURN TO GOD  -  A NEW CHAPTER  -  CONFLUENCE  -  ETERNAL REST  -  UNION  - CONVERGENCE  -  ASCENSION  -  RELINQUISHING THE KNOWN  -  DROPPING THE BODY  -  TRAVERSING THE PORTALS  -  COMMUNION  -  MEETING OUR MAKER  -  THE GREAT MYSTERY  - TAKING THE ULTIMATE TRIP  -  RETURNING TO LOVE  - THE BIG COSMIC ORGASM  -  TOURING THE SOUL PLANE  -    DWELLING IN THE COSMIC WOMB  -  LETTING THE OTHER TEAM MATES PLAY A ROUND  -  RETURNING TO THE LIGHT  -  RECLAIMING ORIGINALITY  -  GRACE - TAKING A RIDE AS A LUMINOUS ORB OF LIGHT  -  GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD  -  ROUND TRIP RETURN TO THE ALL THAT IS  -  YOUR OTHER BIRTHDAY PARTY  - DROPPING BACK INTO THE GREAT I AM  -  CONTINUITY  -  VACATIONING  -  GRAND FINALE  -    SHAMANIC JOURNEYING  -  DISCONTINUATION  -  AWAKENING  -  YOU'RE 86  -  BEING LOVE  -  THE ULTIMATE E-TICKET RIDE  -   FREE HALL PASS  - THE INFINITE GAME  -  RE-ADOPTION BY GOD  -  RENEWAL  -  IS IT THE END, OR JUST THE BEGINNING?  -  EXIT HERE  - WAKING UP IN THE SPIRIT WORLD  -  

UNITY  -  INFORMAL CURTAINS  -   SOARING  -  OBLITERATION  -  KNOCK OFF  -  BUMP OFF  -  SLAY  -  BECOMING AN UNSEEN - CROSSING DIMENSIONS  -  CROSSING THE VEIL  -  RISING  -  RECYCLING THE EARTH SUIT  -   BEING EXCUSED FROM THE DINNER TABLE OF EARTH LIFE TO GO PLAY  -  REGENERATION  -  CHECKING INTO HEAVEN  -  REALIGNING WITH INFINITY  -  SOUL PLANNING MEETING  -  DROPPING YOUR ROLE  -  TAKING CLASSES ON THE ETHEREAL PLANE  -  PURE POTENTIALITY  -  REPORTING IN  -  REORIENTING AS PURE SOURCE ENERGY  -  SURRENDERING AS GOD  -  FALLING BACK INTO THE HEART OF ALL CREATION  -  RETURNING TO THE RIVER OF LIGHT  -  LETTING GO  -  CROAKING  -  FINAL CURTAIN CALL  -  TAKING A NEW TICKET  -  

 SHARING THE BIG LUCID DREAM  -  BECOMING THE SUN  -   ATTENDING THE BIG PARTY IN THE SKY!

How our Beloved Friend Ross won a forever place in our hearts!

Our Beloved Friend Ross Lewallen, at the peak of his game, surprised and saddened us all, recently this Winter, 2014, as he fell into a coma, between the worlds, after a fall and puncture to his lungs.

His passing, has renewed our friendship, and re-polished my friendship with "death" placing it in a high and revered status, along side love and life.  Death is a merging into higher states of life and living, after all.  

Having lost two old friends to this new friend, I would like to share some of the miracles and wonder I have been gifted, on the recent transitions of our Beloved Friends, both spectacular, rare, original, charming, loving, caring, enriching and enlivening human treasures and legacies!

These two amazing mystics are Ross Lewallen and Dashan Dean (DC) Chlebowski.  They both shine a lot of love and beauty into my heart and the hearts of humanity, and feeling all this love reminds me not to stop and mourn too much, or I will surely miss the whole point of their lives!  Let me tell you how I've grown to see through their eyes.

Ross Lewallen traveling Shaman, Artist & 

Extraordinary Soul sharing his art and wisdom 

at the Tarnoff Art Center's Pecos Open Studios Show

Fall 2013.

The first day that I learned from our friend Laura Tarnoff, that Ross was in the hospital, in Santa Fe, balancing in a coma, between the worlds, I wondered how to respond.  The evening found me in town, and instinctively I pulled over to write an encouraging card to Laura Ross' Daughter and Family, at the their jewelry and art gallery, off the Santa Fe Plaza www.lewallenjewelry.com.

Laura Tarnoff & I had met Ross years back, on myspace, and facebook, and years later were graced with a dear friendship that included bridging our beloved passions for art, painting, community, learning, teaching, shamanism, and more, at the Tarnoff Art Center on Rowe. Ross shared his very tender heart with us, and Laura's Father Sherwin, shared much common ground, both white haired Artists and self made business men, and family men, with roots in Chicago, a love of Native American Spiritual practices, nature, travel, poetry, art, and ceremony, as well as an earthy grounding as original artists.

I sat in my car, with the heat running, and I used a cross between my ThetaHealing & shamanic toolkits, to visit Ross as best I could, where he was.  At first I got a kind of a "do not disturb" sign or sorts, as I have seen with others who have crossed over.  I took this to mean not to pray for his return, yet more to tune in and pray for his best well being.  In this case I got that he was way far out, very expansive on his journey into the light.  I got that he could still choose either choice, to proceed, or to return.

The more I tuned in, the more I felt such a divine freedom, and loving light.  I felt deeper and deeper, as Ross shared a feeling of the essence of freedom and choices, of travelability, and shape-shifting freedoms open to him, now.

There was acknowledgement of many angels, divine feminine and Mother God Goddess Energies nurturing, holding, healing, and embracing, hands and heart, hands over his hands, of divine feminine vibrations... beautiful!  Also a sense of his joy in working with  Angels, Masters, Guides, as these and stewarding and protecting those he loves on Earth... from the Light, and or possibly returning to do so, from this side.

A feeling of great rejoicing, purpose, and love!  Also some giant joy, in the possibilities for learning on the other side.  A great feeling for, and relishing of infinite learning opportunities and options in the vast realms.

So much harmony, love, peace, and joy... so much celebration and love... on both "sides"... worlds... dimensionalities!!!  

I only felt a bit of the sadness, after my own expansive flight, when taking root, and considering the loss to his Earthly Family, both immediate, and many beautiful, soulful beloved mystics, shamans and artists throughout the world.

This was my last experience with Ross, before we learned he had aligned with the expansion fully, and was soaring onward.

One day, shortly after, I found my way to sharing with a couple, visiting Santa Fe.  They may have said something, like sorry for your loss.  Now the exact context eludes me, yet for a time, I was having these moments, while the veils were still thin, where I would look out, and see through Ross' expanded eyes, see more as Angels do.  And when I did, and do allow myself, this rare gift, it reminds me to see Heaven and God in each and every being, I meet.  My ThetaHealing Associate and Light Bringer Goddess Friend Page Maran Amrita catalyzes this within me, as she reminds, of how the sacredness, in teaching ThetaHealing, comes as we see God, in each and everyone we encounter.  I re-framed the grief the visiting  couple I encountered, attempted to uplift me from, to this gift and this triumphant blessing, of seeing their divinity, through the eyes of a visiting Angel, recently passed, yet not at all gone!

Ross is such a dear, gentle and living example of seeing, feeling, and welcoming the grace and wonder in each person he meets and receives.  Now he is doing so from a higher vantage point.  What I know in my heart of hearts, and in the very core of my being, is that every small and large gift he so enjoyed gracefully sharing with us on this plane, he is now openly sharing on a quantum scale.

We are so blessed by your Being, your presence, your love, and your trail of heart centered, Earth loving, cosmic, and shamanic gifts left behind for us.  We are so graced, knowing and imagining your path continuing on higher levels and dimensions, as we still check in and share love with you, wherever you are.  Such an outpouring of unique love is flowing over Ross' Facebook page, as friends hold him in our hearts and check in daily, sharing treasures and beauty reminding us of him.

Thank you Ross, for opening and teaching us, non-stop, even, and especially on your special flight to expansive territories still to come.  We love you forever, and share that heart song and love, that knowing who we are and seeing deeply into souls we meet toe to toe, heart to heart, and new friends a million miles apart.

Thank you, thank you thank you... we love you, and carry on your unique spark, as we know and trust you carry ours in your heart!

Dashan Dean Chlebowski (DC) 

marrying his  4th of five Earthly Brides, 

Our Starseed Sister Friend Alashea Raa

How I came to know an amazing soul named Dean.

I like imagining that I met Dashan Dean Chlebowski (DC), during the most exciting period of his life, yet maybe it all was that way.

My Starseed Sister, and most unique  Visionary Friend Alashea, had taken her date to a support group for Near Death Experiencers, in Albuquerque.  This was a group that met in Dean's home, in part due to his mystical fervor, unique open mind,  and constant curiosity.  Apparently Alashea and Dashan recognized each other, during magic rights of initiation, delivered to all, in the circle, by Alashea, and twice to Dashan.

One thing led to another, from left behind sunglasses, to lunch, to visions and soulmate-hood, to a day at a far out 5th dimensional retreat at a place called T.O.S.A. Ranch.  Here we were greeted, and given free healings, and left to walk on labyrinths and hear channeled messages from Arch Angel Zadkiel, while the hostess of the land, laid head tipped to the side, and drooling, in an open tent, on a vast property run my two tall Starseed, who trailblazed fortune and fame, after meeting on a conventional dating website, declaring bankruptcy, overcoming judgements of each other, and finally recognizing & remembering their Divinity together.

After the long drive to this ranch featuring sacred energies, and live llamas & alpacas, we finally met this man of the stories, a beautiful, impassioned, courageous, Optometrist, Earth Angel of a man, with bright  eyes, and a unique and easy charm.

Next thing we know, we were gathering a few months later, at the same high vibrational ranch, under and around a copper pyramid, beneath the setting sun, witnessing the most magical, true age marriage I have yet to partake in.  Partake, because we were all opened that day, to seeing, feeling, honoring, expressing and sharing rights of passage, an initiation of love, that seemed to catalyze us all up... and within it.

Dean or Dashan, as we knew him, occasionally graced us with his presence at Alien or Starseed Movie Night, along side his Beloved, Alashea, at Lynda Star's Studio, now Angel Station 222 - www.facebook.com/angelstation222 in Santa Fe.  They were like two quiet, composed, harmonious LOVE Gods!  Later, we gathered in Dashan & Alashea's home, for some sacred meditations and programs.  Dashan and Alashea always welcomed us with such rich juicy souls.

Later each one came to me, for two of the most intensive Dolores Cannon Quantum Healing Hypnosis Sessions, at the closing crossroads of their marriage.  Dean was adopted, as I was too.  I felt very moved and blessed to serve them, in this sacred way.  I saw a lot of myself, the tender, vulnerable parts I can't show most people, in Dashan.  His soul's biggest priority was guiding Alashea to go live near her kids, in California.

After our work together, they parted ways and Dashan rocketed out of Alashea's life, and mine, like a comet.  After my initial shock, reading Alashea's Facebook post that her Beloved Ex-husband Dean, had passed out of this world, I amused myself, at odd twists and sweeps of this Life!

What I see now, is that perhaps Dean's Soul, a little weary for wear, like so many of us, simply got up, and politely asked, "May I please be excused from this Earthly dinner table?"

Dashan... Dean... DC...

You brought so many beautiful qualities I admire and we all admire dearly.  Our passage is lighter and brighter, having shared the fabulous light in your eyes, heart, and magnanimous smile.

We are surely pissed to see you leave this party so early!!

We're blessed, along with so many, who shared your passionate, original energies, stories, and life.  I trust you'll shoot through Creation, like the comet you are!  I imagine your graduation ceremony, on the higher planes, where you learn... there was no right or wrong way, and how loving really big, fulfilled your every purpose!

I told Dean, while he was around, that his gift was not simply helping people see physically... it was helping us see as Souls, helping us expand to a broader ability to see, including all in our vantage point.

Around the window of days that Dean passed on at 11:11 pm, I had a unique and blessed experience.  I was in Santa Fe, one morning, driving West on Sant Michael's Drive.  I sat for a moment, delayed, as a train passed by.  This was the day I saw a giant plumed serpent of clouds in the Southern skies.  Something non-ordinary flashed at the back of my car.  It was like a burst from a higher dimension.  Immediately following, a medium sized white feather stuck to the top back hatchback window of my car, near my "Namaste" sticker, appropriately!  I felt amazed, and wondered how is a white feather sticking to my car at all, let alone, right where I can see it so vividly?  I thought of pulling over and catching it, for keeps.  Yet I kept going, in the line of morning traffic, instead.

Later that morning, when I read the news on Facebook, I put it all together.  Perhaps that was Dean, in his new Angel Expression, sailing through, dropping me a feather of greeting, and sacred blessing, as a reward, for bringing such an open mind and heart.

So long, for now Dean.  Thanks for reminding us to love deeply, fully, and completely, always.

We learned so many beautiful stories about you.  Like that you married your Beloved Sandi Kay Dean, six days before your early departure from this world, due to brain cancer.  And that you married Sandi, your 5th Earthly wife, from your bed, with no pants on.  That you took in homeless friends for dinner, and holidays, with out a second thought.  That you gifted friends all around you, with jokes, surprises till the end, and beyond, that you would give away money, and buy gasoline for strangers in need, and lavish the local stray cat, with cans of fresh fancy tuna fish.  That you hosted Salsa dancing lessons in your house.  That you made peace with, and gave great pride in the end, to your birth mother, for a life well lived.  You remind us to befriend everyone we meet, and to touch their hearts deeply, as we allow them to touch ours so.

We love you Dean... travel to your higher assignment in peace, good will, on purpose, and most of all, with that big bright light in your eyes, heart and being!  We treasure your way, and are uplifted and loved in your mighty wake.  Go lightly now!

This Infinite Gift of... Who I Am!

This is an amazing journey, this one we are sharing.  The gifts pouring forth from the Infinite Source flowing through all of us, are deeply amazing and awakening so many new connections, truths, much synchronicy, deep knowing, purpose and more, of who I truly am, and this true source in the reflections of so many, perhaps All of my fellow explorers.

We are all woven so beautifully together, as the present energy of Oneness, unfolds our Deep True Cosmic SELF, throughout all of life.  I am experiencing this, and we are sharing it together, many of the explorer friends I connect with, now.

I was invited by a facebook friend, Matthew Sherril, a fellow artist, mystic, initiate and soul traveler, to partake in a ceremony, shared talk, and book signing, led by Michele Ama Wehali, this recent weekend.

Having met Michele, at a sacred ceremony circle, led by Connie Buffalo, years earlier, I recalled her power, vision, strength, and then newly birthed book.  Yes, I certainly was interested.

I showed up, Saturday morning, to a house, up a snow covered hill, running outside of time.  I found my way through the back, healing room space, through a group gathering room, and upstairs, quietly following the sounds of a sacred circle.  I entered and was signed in, as the circle opened to accommodate the twelfth addition.

Michele, author, of "Journey to the The Fifth World," was to me, then a powerful author, and fellow Starseed, steeped in Shamanic Journeying experience, whom I had met and shared ceremony with once.  I took her card, originally, as a possible prospect for Past Life Regression, with me, and with an interest and hope to one day read her book.

Suddenly, I found myself, on Saturday Morning, seated in sacred space, with fellow initiates, exploring, twenty or more years of Michele's Shamanic Qwest and Life initiation, as she had studied Mayan, Native American and Peruvian Sacred Ways, amongst others.  She shared powerful prophecies, insights, and experiences.  I could feel her heart centering, and appreciated her experientially centered open mindedness into star dimensions, other life expressions, and even openly commenting about how much of the truth, true ways, and connection, run deeper than, religions, deeper than what some shamans and teachings are taught to access, and more.

She led us on two inner journeys, calling in spirits, and journeying to the Rainbow Goddess, Ix Chel, through the Mayan ways.

Our second journey began with a fire ceremony, and a calling in of the jaguar powers of the various directions.

Even though I am usually extremely outgoing, open and as my friend Link, said, upon meeting me, years ago, "Jen, shyness eludes you!," I came through the first ceremony, struck with so much power, resonating through, that I was not aware of how to gather it up, and freely communicate it.  "How would I fit so much mystical exploration into words, let alone into words, and minds made small, and strange by so much of our historical EARTH conditioning?"  I wondered.  This is why shamans and seers have more infinite mediums of healing, art, song, music, gazing, toning, vibration, connection, poetry, stories, "myths" and drama.

Now, back in the looming rush of my human callings, I am still at a loss for knowing how to fit a tour through dimensions, beyond space and time, into our dimension, space, time, society, and words?

Let's see.  Literally, let's see!  Without consulting any notes, dashed off later, my journey begins as  jauguar, itself, as I once experienced in a shamanic journey circle, nearly 20 years ago, in California.

As jaguar, I walk down primal stairways, into the lower world, or the belly of this world.  I am the spotted jaguar, and with others, then I become the black jaguar, descending alone.  Next I descend through a tunnel like drop, like in "Alice in Wonderland," as in other journeys before, only I note the tunnel like movement is through fire.  I experience knowing, "this is fire, not just light, but fire!"

I travel through portals of light, and experience dancing as fire itself.  This fire dancing feels freeing and natural, revealing the fluidity of my true nature, with ease, relish and delight!

This fire experience, transforms into an experience of soaking in hot waters, like the hot springs of the Earth.  I take this in, this experience of embrace, and containment, cleansing and connection within the warm waters.  This experience in the waters brings in a lover, a Mayan Lover, yet as I surrender into the cosmic dance of love sharing union, with my lover, there comes a sense of being this Cosmic Mayan Couple, being the unity shared within the love dance of Creation.  Embodying this cosmic LOVE sharing and expressing, this Cosmic Unity and Surrender, my awareness takes in the reality, that as oneness itself, this is REAL LOVE, this being both the living divine feminine force, and simultaneously being this divine male creation force, all in one.  Dancing as all reality, centering in one divine coupling.  From this divine dance of loving surrender, a vibrational healing and knowing vibrates through all the divine LOVE connection I have shared and felt, even and especially all those Earthly LOVE connections that could not be made to work, for more than a brief lingering recognition.  I immediately recognized that this Cosmic LOVE connection, is what all other seemingly lesser LOVE longings are yearning for, within me, my life, and my history/herstory!  And at the same time, I awaken within, this reality, where the divine union, is all inclusive of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine, within me!  Within this, I get that this is the LOVE that meets itself within me, and contains all the love I share, feel, and experience, out in this world.  The reason it feels hard to translate into the circle, feels like taboo, still, to articulate, or even fit into words and share with a group of explorers, mostly new to me, is that most of our programing, in modern American and global life, is saturated and processed through filters of shaming, damning gods, societies, religions, culture, music, media, and more.  We have been taught to see LOVE and Sexuality through filters of fear, ego, separation, individuality, neediness, lack, shame, and most especially through imposed and habitualized filters of small, undeserving, disconnected, un-evolved humans, who see divinity, and unity outside ourselves, or not at all, hence every bad country-western, codependent "love"-song, and bad TV show and movie that portrays this same.  Then we were raised, most of us, by poor, sorry parents and grandparents, with the same kind of lost, separate, vain, hating, controlling male God outside of you, shame.  I grew up with parents who only knew how to express love to me, and rarely any real warmth or love between each other, through their 20 year marriage.

Later in the journey, I experience dancing as "Thunderbird Woman," as woman on my lower half, and winged bird as my upper half.  I wonder of seeing only one of myself, and multiply into a circle of us, yet quickly morph back into one, and wonder about all of this.  I danced round the fire, at the circle of the cave like, or night space.  I dance to the beat of the drum, to the heart beat of this world.  Knowing comes, that the oneness is who I am and what I am expressing, so I do not need a "group" dancing with me, as I am at once, dancing the ONENESS of ALL of Creation through my one bird-woman self!  I am containing ALL of this ONE, as this ONE contains all of me!

I experience and see more portals of light, rainbow colored lights, and both cosmic butterfly and pyramid shapes.  The pyramids always appear to be seen, as if from above.  The altered, quick drum beat brings us quickly back.

I return with awe and amazement, taking in the experience from within, shining it out, silently, and taking in the circle we return to.  In an unfamiliar experience, I return with so much vast, multidimensional knowing and gifts, that I can not imagine how to fit any of this into words, let alone to share it.  I realize much of the experience is deeply vibrational.

After more talking, sharing, expressing, and silence, and during, I watch a magical fountain of water, a spring, from above, pouring, down, a string of water, outside the window, behind fellow explorers, behind the male counterpart of a sacred couple sitting across from me.  This water feels like a secret gift, only I can see.  It vibrationally weaves together the water I soak in, within the journey, and still it communicated more within me, beyond the understanding of my mind.

The second journey is entered through a fire ceremony, and a calling in of the jaguar spirits of all different directions.  We are given instructions of what to open up to.  I take in something about our chakras and the Jaguar Spirits, and my conscious mind bats away the second part of the instruction, as I trust taking it in at a soul level, to allow all I need, and whatever my guidance blends and weaves in with the formal invite.

I experience the second journey quite differently.  This experience brings more VIBRATION, less vision, more auditory guidance.  I travel as the black jaguar again, and then see less, wondering, like a salesman on a slow month, why this journey is not flooded with cool visuals and more, like the last.  I allow whatever deeper transformation is unfolding, beyond the mere comprehension, of my little separate Earthly mind!  I surrender to this energy, as Vibrational experience unfolds.  At one key point, I experience this knowing, at a sentence forms within, observing a shocking "judgement," something about how I have sat parked on a shelf, waiting, on hold, for most of my life, or so I believe, notice and see, in this moment.  At the same time of this recognition, I feel it clearing away, like yesterday's news.  As this vibrational awareness clears, the reality and awareness, as insight and knowing completely replace it, as,"this ends now!"  I deeply know: "I am now expressing my more full, vital, connected, true, infinite SOURCE, no matter what I think, feel, or notice others thinking or feeling in response!"

Next I expand into the "download" experience, as I feel deep shifting from the Core of Creation, through the Core of my Being.  I allow this shifting, this experience, this knowing.  I hear and speak within this knowing, that comes through in a most experiential way.  "I am the Mother of Creation" I receive, transmit and simultaneously know and speak from within!  "I am the Father of Creation!"  "I am the Universe!"  "I AM!"  This comes through as a direct transmission from me, at the heart, core and center of Creation." 

I feel the shifting in knowing all of ONESESS as who I am!  I contain all of Creation.  As All of Creation, I birth all of this, as this one point of this creation.  I see from this perspective, from this knowing, that I embody all of Creation, and choose to come to Earth and play with ALL of this, here.  A realization and a decision comes through, a knowing, that I am not going to send this away, or shut this down.  I am not going to invite all this and all it contains to leave, and I am not going to ever again "call it in, as shamanic superstition or ritual maintains!"  I AM THIS LIVING SOURCE OF ALL OF CREATION!  I am not going to pretend not to be all of this any more!

The drum speeds up and calls us back to the circle.  I feel this morphing, this shifting between containing and birthing all of Creation, and retaining this knowing, and somehow integrating this Eternal Living Truth, this LOVE LIGHT, this Oneness, this SOURCE, back into the identity, and human experience and body, lying here, adjusting to the experience of this body, and now beginning to again sit up, and take my place in the CIRCLE!

My most grand awareness is of the whole knowing, the whole experience.  I realize this is an initiation!  "This is some grand initiation!"  I take it in.  I and my fellow journeyers have birthed expansive downloads of each one's experience of this!  This is Oneness!  This is I-dentity.  This is the big taboo secret, the big truth we are all here, with intention and or, at least, inner knowing and drive to open, know and live!  This is "The Journey to the Fifth World.  This is the "REALITY" we Lightbringers came to experience, know, birth, share and co-create here on Earth.  We are here birthing, downloading and co-creating this!

We bring this back, and all stand, one at a time, led by Michele, before the Spirit of the Fire, and speak, one by one, to Creation, of what we feel called to express.  Some speak with heart, through Silence.  What my fellow Creators speak and share is emblazoned on the light of my SOUL.  This is very multidimensional, and likely, much more than outwardly appears, is synchronized, in this connection.

What do I share?

I am possibly third, so I am raw and fresh, emanating the VIBRATION, with out stepping out, into mind much, to plan.  I speak in the moment.  I say something which includes: "I am humbled, I am in awe, I feel amazement.  I am INFINITE!  I am grateful.  I am surprised.  I am the Mother of Creation, I am the Father of Creation.  I AM.  I am guided and know that I am not closing down, opening up, calling this in, or sending it back out.  I am this!  I am grateful.  I am here to experience, and embody this Infinite Source, that I am.  And I now see this emanating out through the eyes of my fellow Creators, and we mirror this back and forth, ALL around and through.  We are One.

As Loving Kindness!

In Lak' ech,

I am Another Yourself!

Michele speaks this ancient Mayan Greeting many times, as more and more it awakens the deep, multidimensional reality of its knowing, of our knowing.  Divinity, the spark of life, the Mother and Father of Creation, we are ALL this, birthing ourselves into the playground of magical, infinite, playful, creative, loving, light beaming Cosmic LIFE on Earth, and beyond.

There is much more, yet for now I encode and contain my jigsaw puzzle piece of it ALL, into this knowing:

"WE ARE ONE!"

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