Sunday, October 25, 2009

Inner demons mask INNER DIVINITY

Collaborative Multi Media Painting by Kamajou Tadfor & Jen Klarfeld


Dear Groovy Creation:

Please excuse me for weaning off my beautiful hand collaged journals, a whole month ago today, in trade for blogging on my new blog, here.  Tonight I sat down, and picked up my current, bold, art covered journal, collaged in images of bold orange-yellow coral, an orange, expressionistic Jamie Chase painted female figure, a beaded native bag, transformed to a pillow, behind the figure, an older Native Woman, kissing her Man, donning a bold, ceremonial, red, orange, yellow, black and white, headdress, ribbon shirt, beadwork and all,  a beautiful modern Kachina painting by Gregory Lomayesva, and one painted cubist woman in candy colored turquoise green, sky blue, orange-yellow, sky blue, scarlet red, and pale yellow!  Funny as it celebrates my deep love of art, creativity, painting and colors, while I presently find myself, less focused on painting, and more focused on the soul arts!

Still life opens opportunities for me to continue juggling my two highest passions, soul transformation, and process painting, from soul to canvas!

Now I experiment here, crossing the journal and blog, like a genetic writing experiment.  May it all be for good.  Here goes:

I DO FEEL A MASSIVE SHIFT FROM:

  • old paradigm to new
  • struggling to thriving
  • karma to grace
  • separation to oneness
  • suffering to elation
  • fighting against to attracting & surrender
  • hiding to revealing
  • secrets to openess
  • greed & need to sharing & service
  • trauma to transformation
  • warring to bliss
  • feeling lost to sharing understanding
  • isolation to unity
  • brokenness to wholeness
  • disease to healing
  • busy-ness to being
  • mechanistic to natural
  • mutant to real
  • lost to multiversal
  • density to light
  • slavery to freedom
  • hurt to well
  • following to leading
  • cluelessness to knowing
  • stuck to growing
  • feeling small to divine
  • abandonment to connection
  • local to cosmic
  • hateful to loving
  • judging to accepting
I just sat down and explored a guided meditation, to meet my "inner demon," to paint for the upcoming "Inner Demon Show," America Meredith invited me to show in, October 30th, at her Second Street Studio, in Santa Fe.

A local facebook, artist friend, expressed "concern," for why exactly I am dabbling in inner demons?  He said he helps people clear demons and that the subject is not light.  I said, I too help people transform their inner demons, yet I know it can indeed be light, when we open to a larger context.

"What is my primary inner demon?" I wondered, as I forged inward to explore.

At first I saw a male figure, a hurt man.  Then I saw a more expansive indigo, crystal, and violet energy, kind of contracted, very deflated, an energy living like a sponge, or a filter, soaking up so much of the dense, Earthy human rays of hurt, suffering, and sadness.  This energy seemed to learn, from lineages of mothers, how to feel, see, mirror, attract, soak up, and run the energy of pain.  This energy learned to collapse inward and soak up other people's pain.  On Earth, it learned to absorb and reflect the ways of humans.  It learned to stifle its true nature, which is to radiate divine light, from the inside, out.  It learned to withhold this light, this crystal clarity, this cosmic unity, and instead how to suck in and grow dense and clogged with pain, from hurt human beings, taking this pain in, and on, as if its own!

So in talking to me, and me talking to this energy, my inner demon slowly and surely, morphed into my INNER DIVINITY, transforming from "clogged, dense, heavy, suck up," back to indigo, crystal, violet, lavender radiance, feeling colorful, cosmic, and freeing, purposeful, satisfying and true!

The inner demon is really my vast and infinite high vibrational divinity, coming back out to play.

I feel a little too energetically ambushed to leap in and paint this right away.

I saw beautiful energies, colors, and dancing divinity, expanding and unfolding beyond the masks of demon territories.  It may be difficult to paint, express and defend.  Perhaps I will include some of the human masks it has learned, in past, to hide behind.

Within is our VAST DIVINITY.  In a conditioned, warring world, it learns to collapse itself, to hide, and soak up outward pain.  The TRUTH is far more VAST!

Seeing this, as revealed by some of my clients, reminds that a very popular game on Earth, is that of fear, shutting down, and loading up with yucky feelings, thoughts, and vibes.

My inner demon grew up, out of a drive for self protection.  Vast power lives beyond the small hiding poses!  I am living and revealing this freely now!  I am grateful to share in the massive wave of humanity, awakening and sharing this now!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Starseed Regression Pioneer Dolores Cannon

"Other Worldly Landscape" by Jen


Yesterday felt like an enormously full day! It felt like many days, compacted into one.  It felt like traversing many worlds from one!

My explorer shared, after a session, that Dolores Cannon would be on Coast to Coast am Radio, later the same day.

My client had a rich, full session, touring the cosmos, and experiencing deeper discoveries about life aboard spaceships and much much more. This explorer, felt waves of sadness, watching a scene, in Earh's history unfold, where the Persians blew themselves up, entirely. I joked that I dated one, so at least one must have survived.

Later that day I retrieved a phone message from the old Persian love, from 18 or so years past. I screamed in shock hearing his voice after so long!  I tackled a few side projects, then dialed him up, back in my old stomping ground of San Francisco.

We had a few long heart to heart catch up sessions. It felt very dear to connect, and catch the infinite timeless wave, that true love and friendship anchors, beyond ordinary time, space, and life preoccupations. When two know each other's heart once, this always remains alive and strong. It's a gift when both friends are vulnerable and open enough to really let each other in. This is accessible, enriching, and true, any time it is opened up and honored!

My work is essentially, facilitating altered states in explorers, via focused states of attention and regression. So yesterday, I shared in some far out states, then reconnected over an 18 year gap in communications, to a true love.

Later I wrestled my radio, and tuned into Coat to Coast am radio, where host George Noory was interviewing Starseed Regression Pioneer, masterful, multidimensional hypnotherapist, and past life researcher, lecturer, author, and publisher, Dolores Cannon.

Dolores Cannon is a huge hero of our local Santa Fe Starseed Circle, ever since I saw a book, with a big gray alien on the cover, called "The Custodians" By Dolores, at my Friend Lynda's studio. I got on line, and researched her books, and bought some for myself, for Lynda, and for my Dad. Now we have all read her books, including, "Keepers of the Garden," "Star Crash," and "The Convoluted Universe Books One, Two, & Three!"  This is radically shifting our awareness, and my past life regression practice.

Dolores Cannon is one of my top favorite mentors, and the clients with whom I work, who have read her books, are having highly empowering, off planet, multi-dimensional, spaceship excursions, and "living as light" memories! My new practice is literally out of this world, thanks to Dolores Cannon.  People are walking out, amazed and grateful, for new levels of understanding to many many major life questions.

One of my starseed friends on facebook, asked me to share my audio recording of the show. I am not that technically advanced yet. So instead I started writing today, about last night's mind blowing, soul stirring, heart awakening show. I feel like I tripped out through the Multiverse and back, and am still letting it all sink in.  Here's what I wrote, in my letter to a handful of friends, whom I invited to listen to the show!

The theme of the show was that Dolores' clients have shown to her, that there are three waves of "aliens" that are here on Earth, as "volunteers," to help the young Earth race evolve, without blowing up the classroom, like modern American troubled teenagers!

She explained that the three waves, began with the first wave, starting around 1947, shortly after the atomic bomb went off. Some seem older than this too me, yet they could also be "walk ins," if their interest in UFO's really peaked more, around 1947. Is Dolores a volunteer, as George inquired? She's very humble about it, yet she's definitely a leader among us! The alien race came to help us young ones to not blow ourselves up, with *our new power, while still evolving. She said Earth is seeded with life forms from all over the multiverse!

For more about "our new power," watch the film, "Humanity Ascending," by Futurist Visionary Barbara Marx Hubbard.


Dolores said that Zachariah Sitchin's research focuses mostly, only on one specific race that came and enslaved earthlings, yet the seeding started well before this small bit. Personally I think Sitchen shares a story that is kind of pre-multidimensionality, so it serves some, yet it is far from the whole story, which many more are naturally attuned to knowing! His story is not what I know as truth, within my being. It is a more humanoid, 4-D vibrational story.

Dolores said this is all like a play, this Earth life, that we play many, many roles, here. We come from the  the Source, from the light, and we play all the roles, like the costume corner, in kindergarten. I quite agree! Dr. Brian Weiss says the same thing. We are not black, or white, red, or yellow, priest, or guru, parent or child, leader or follower, slave or slave master, Jewish or Jain. We are the light beyond all this, which puts on a new costume every lifetime, or every Halloween!

She said there are different assignments Volunteers are on. Some are Seeders, and some are Recorders, and some are Weeders weeding something out, on Earth. Many are Messengers, relaying cosmic knowing to Earth Family, as a wake up call, as an evolutionary boost, as an "inside job!"

Some of the new wavers fulfill our mission, simply by living, enlivening our knowing, in ways that shift masses of humans, simply by contact, and expression, like the hundredth monkey.

There are a third wave, that came in, in the 1970's, and later. I see it this way, from my own research.

The first wave had more problems, felt more suicidal, felt more conflicted with the violent ways
of humanoids. The second wave had less problems, and more shared understanding! The first wave was marked by Systems Busters, Way Showers, Pioneers, and all that I deeply relate to!

Dolores Cannon, like Barbara Marciniak and the Pleaidians*, said that we are shifting into a splitting of two worlds, the New Earth, and the Old, Karmic Wheel World. She said, if you are aware of being here to create the New Earth, then you're coming along, and those who are continuing to spin in karmic circles of dense emotion and habituation, will stay on the Old Earth, with its wars, Earth changes, diseases, fights turbulence, chaos, and lessons!

* see "Bringers of the Dawn," the 18 part Pleaidian channeling, on www.youtube.com. Listen to the one with images, it's newer and better!

She said that we have already changed the Earth and awareness greatly, and that there is no great war or armageddon, coming.

Dolores mentioned a comet that collided with the Earth, bringing bacteria, which brought with it disease. She explains that those overseeing Earth could have bagged the whole experiment, and started over from scratch, then, yet chose not to. She shared of how some of the new kids are being born with the new DNA, deep knowing, and new levels of immunity to disease, as we are evolving into a brilliant new humanity, despite what the pharmaceutical, insurance, news media and other corporate interests want you to believe!

She spoke of these new star children coming in, learning so fast and knowing so much, that some graduate college by age 9, and start corporations to help support the other star kids and their specific missions!

She said the bible is not the "word of God," it is more a human history, written by man. She noted that when the council of Nicea gathered to compile the books of the bible, that many important books were left out.

She spoke of us coming from SOURCE, and of how some "Aliens" can live on LIGHT from the source, as they are still physical, while their organs have atrophied.

She made it clear that all alien abductions are pre-agreed to, by the humans, and that those humans are connected to, or from the Alien race doing the abducting. These humans are being tracked, implanted, and overseen, as they signed on for. Some of our "implants" are recording devices, being tracked by our off planet family.

Dolores explained that we are the first planet in the Universe that is morphing from a 3-D planet, into a 5-D planet, while at the same time maintaining the old 3-D one. She said it is very brave for "volunteers" to come here. She noted that many of our enlightened star family fear us, for our violence, immaturity, destructive power, and more.  Many of us "Volunteers," inherently fear the chaos, control, rage and fear-filled ways of the humanoids!

One First Wave Volunteer, spoke of telling his mother, as a young boy, how upset he was with how ignorant and controlling, raging and warlike the race here is! The mother didn't know what to make of this, as he seemed to include her, in his harsh judgement, from his gentle awakened soul perspective.

Dolores said that we are changing our outcome, which is not set in stone. She said the family will not let the Earth Children blow up our planet. This would cause too much trauma in the Multiverse. Still we are set, far removed from other life, so if we do screw up, other planets and civilizations will not be immediately corrupted. Still there is a back up planet, that is not exactly like Earth, yet is available in the wings, in case we ever need to relocate.

She said there is a race living inside the planet, that has little interest in fraternizing with us, out here, on the surface, and that they have their own sun, in there. We are too violent and warlike for their attention. She explained that most entryways to the inner Earth are found under pyramids.

Many "Volunteers" called in, and identified their gifts and challenges, as First, Second, and Third Wavers. She said the most important way out of the pain of being an enlightened volunteer, and feeling the pain of the war, violence, and immaturity of humanoids, is to help people. "We are here on Earth to help people!"

Dolores reported that we are here to join the Galactic Federation, and take our rightful place amongst our own!

And there were a few comments on how it is out of alignment with natural law, for us to manipulate the foods, the gene pool, and experiment with mutating these or genetically experimenting with crossing pig cells with those of humans. Dolores' books shed light on the Experiments on Atlantis, and how these were their downfall, and of how we are spiraling round, repeating some of this, right now. Some of us, know about this, yet for some this is new.

That's my overview. I took a zillion notes.

This is what I am delighted to procure from Dolores and George, and to share with you, here.

Thanks for your interest!

In Joy, Love and Oneness!

Jen




Tuesday, October 13, 2009

STARSEED DOWNLOAD

Starseed Multi Media Painting by Jen


Today I enjoyed an amazing gift, simply by showing up and doing my "perfect work," as my old hypnotherapy teacher used to say! Actually, I mostly felt like I surrendered, and got to witness a most amazing journey through CREATION!

Since last night, after our weekly Star Family reunion, otherwise known as: Alien Movie Night, shared with dear friends, I came home seeing 1:11, 2:22, 11:11, 1:11 & 2:22 on the clocks around me. Star circle friends relate this to ascension, and reawakening our cosmic, or multi-dimensional awareness.

I watched a giant, brightly lit, long, slender, horizontal cloud formation, in the sky, en route home, appear like a mother-ship, illuminating Santa Fe, for the second night in a row. I drove up to see two beautiful coyotes, making tracks across my neighbor's yard. Next the cloud morphed into a giant graphic eagle, with a head like images that have come through my own art, and that of beloved local artist friends!

The weekend's evenings were full of celebration, excitement, sharing, some shadow revelations, and plenty of light, a starseed birthday party, story sharing, and more. The rich weekend included an "African Village" dance, feast, story sharing and gathering, up a narrow earthen road, with 40 old and new friends!

Today I picked up a book by Barbara Marciniak, who channels "Pleiadian Wisdom for a World in Chaos, "Path of Empowerment." Before my starseed explorer arrived I did a quick "book divination," to a page, asking to tune into significant guidance, to my client's exploration. I tuned into a high powered insight, that seemed resonant with both my client, myself, and perhaps the majority of Humanity! This insight was indeed instrumental, in guiding the explorer through the maze of sometimes conflicting old and new paradigm motivations and messages.

I have been gathering clues, as I guide each explorer, and was feeling a hunch from a previous session, that the Starseed circle, especially those highly active in vibrational healing, need very little additional force towards regressing into the deepened state. I altered the language to best suit the journey's objective, after a deep and clarifying interview.

I improvised a cosmic, still focused induction, using light, color and some simple visualization. The explorer, found him/herself in an alternate dimension, as clues morphed a bit, on the journey. The explorer eventually expressed shapeshifting abilities, quite natural to his/her dimension. It was all very exciting, unique and direct. The multidimensional expression, was swift, focused, and in a leadership role, in the alternate dimension. It was quite beautiful, and I stayed open to the dimensional nuances, that, at various times, did not conform to logic, convention, or ordinary Earth ways. Luckily I was better aligned with this extraordinary awareness, than with many earthlings, and at other moments, I was simply receiving information, through my sense of knowing, sometimes before having details explained for me!

At one point my explorer even received a download, of the more expansive, true, and updated truth of who she/he is! It was off the charts, marvelous! I was at times giddy, like sports fans might be, at a big game, only I felt giddy for my explorer, and for the truths experienced and shared! I felt giddy to be in what felt like the audience, while appearing to be the leading one, (out on the leading edge, while all the while feeling divinely led!!)

How we know so much, and have been so masterful at hiding from many, and ourselves how vast our being truly is, and how much knowing we immediately bring, and how unified we all really are, and how infinite are our gifts, is all quite miraculous to witness, and to directly experience! How humbling to be expertly guided on these journeys by my expansive true self, that of my explorer, our angels, guides, archangels, and ALL!

When I asked the name of my explorer's infinite, Arcturian expression, we were told, that it did not easily translate into Earth words. Rather it is more a sound. It was easiest to translate into color.

I am trained, adept, and impassioned in working with color, so I cheered, inwardly at this too. Still it was coming through higher dimensions, instead of our ordinary Earthly focus, so I stayed open, once again, remaining playful, allowing us both to be guided, receive, and intuit, what to do, on this dimension, with a multidimensional download, of who my explorer truly is, and an alignment with this download, in the way of color rays, in specific formatting!

I love my calling, within which I am newly updated, to new details of, often... continually.

While socializing, I tell lawyers, of how I am from a long line of lawyers, on both sides of my family. I carry this energy forward, in mediating between the eclectic aspects, resources, talents and relationships within these explorers!

Sometimes I meet computer programers, and share of how, I too, work with deprograming the computers we are born with!

For many years past, I actively sought out a male partner to be the adventurer, and leader, with whom to enrich my inwardly focused way! Now I am morphing/becoming so much of what I once sought outwardly, within who I am, here, now, and beyond!

It is in grace, blessing, honor and gratitude, this stepping into the ever incomplete, and always infinite power I presently embody, on this grand cosmic journey, here on our beautiful jewel of a mother planet, Earth. I am deeply moved, tickled, delighted and amazed, to hold space for my kindred spirit family, to uncover our true dimensionality, and share this openly and freely.

I am deeply grateful, to feel the same awe, and grace, that I feel towards all who guide, initiate, teach and show me the way. If I never sit in front of a formal, teacher, guru, counsel or guide again, I am receiving, and sharing in full circle/spherical/oneness/reality(-ies), beyond what my logical mind can fully articulate. And this is the richest gift to be granted, to earn, accept, receive, and share: my opening, to hold, express and initiate this space for awakening starseed humanity, right here in my most beloved and beautiful, Santa Fe!

To be truly learning new realities with infinite star beings, co-creatively leading our own cosmic initiation amongst friends, this is the most delicious reality, I know so far! This reality lusciously embraces, contains, links back to and unites ALL, most SPLENDIDLY!

Thank you Starseed Friend, Nation, Multiverse and Family, for the sweet seeds of this sharing!

A timeless newly reacquainted beloved friend, used to ask me and others, "I know you can give, but can you receive?!!!!" Trailblazing this Transformation is my unequivocal, indelible, impassioned "YES!"


Saturday, October 3, 2009

Vibration

"Family" Painting by Jen

Yesterday I drove into town, into Santa Fe, to meet an old family friend. The friend was traveling across country, with a new love. It was a very sweet vibrational offering to share in. They told stories, of how they had been in love sixty years ago. The male counterpart, confessed that he had wished to marry this woman, while dating her in high school, yet they went separate ways, and ended up marrying other people. After his wife passed on, he was reunited with my friend, and a love kindled naturally and easily, as it had done over sixty years before.

We shared a meal at the French Creperie, in La Fonda Hotel, which was quite divine. We shared some tales. My friend reported news from my family, back in Illinois, dwelling on the worst current changes of their friend circle. We talked in that old paradigm style for a while, about who had a stroke, who's children are facing health challenges, and other similar stories. I noticed the vibration shifted to this more hopeless helpless filter, some back in my hometown, are continually energizing.

I paced this vibration, playing, "I can top your worst story," a game my relative in Illinois, often plays. I told an, "if you think that's bad, listen to this one," tragic tale, of a third party, I am not around to see. Author Caroline Myss calls this "woundology bonding," which Jews call "kvetching." In some circles, this is so habitual, there is no way out of the tragic focus loop.

I recently introduced a communications boundary with the family member, noted above, who seems to habitually communicate, predominantly, from within the narrow band of this tragic focus loop! They are seemingly always at war within, in chaos, fear, rage and blame, and always projecting this outwardly, onto me, for any and all reasons, for an excuse for their own, habitual, unresolved pain. All others, of this distinctive energy vibration, have since fallen out of my immediate life.

I once read in an early "Kryon," book, that the energetic overlay, or filter, or karma of the Jewish People is "suffering." I am Jewish by birth, through adoption, and culturally, while relating more as a spiritual being, than a religious one. Jews are known for guilt trips, for "kvetching," which is yiddish for whining, moaning, bitching & complaining, and sometimes for habitually perpetuating the state of malcontent, from the inside out! I am proud to be culturally jewish, from a long lineage of cool origins, of a people that are not so insecure as to need to proselytize, and who historically gathered and questioned their own teachings! Yet I have lived for so long, now, with a knowing that we inhabit all races and religions, all life stations, and lessons, in various incarnations, that I see through what many continually identify with.

My friend called the other day, with a very important question, "Which spoon, and which sponge did you use, to make hot cocoa for the kids?" "I used a Winnie the Pooh, kid's spoon!" My friend was gracious, yet commented she would have to throw the spoon and dish rag out, as they touched dairy, (powdered dairy,) and were thus no longer Kosher. All I could think of was, how startling that anyone in this day and age, is still living by the ancient superstitions of dead old patriarchs, who believed in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth!

I am becoming more attuned to vibrations, as I open up my heart, being and my Trailblazing Transformation practice. I felt tingling pain body waves, emanating from a friend's shoulder, and straight into my palm, while posing for photos, last weekend. She confirmed, it was the arm that had been crushed in a car wreck!

I searched three possible part time job options, yesterday, while running some errands, during my transition of bridging my way into full flow, with my business. My heart & my gut say, my Trailblazing Transformation practice, is my most rewarding life gift and investment right now! Yet I am not completely immuned to the opposing thoughts of one family member, and the companies I deal with to provide services, to keep my life and business running and thriving.

I entered the only place I feel extreme resonance with, for a side job, and was really met in respect and dignity, as I was told the protocol for applying. The energy here felt very resonant, humane and divine. It felt like a light imbued and conscious center.

The second place I visited, felt more startling, more harsh, more artificial, charged, and challenging. I was told, no they were not taking applications. The manager came over, and sounded extremely stressed, announcing that they have enough applicants to not take further applications, for another six months. I felt kind of relieved, that my energetic perceptions of this option, were mirrored back in the stressful reactions of the staff, and management.

The third option, felt larger, more corporate, and more mechanized than the first two. At this storefront, I was told by a young staff member, that many employees are currently being fired! He escorted me to a manager. She reframed his sentiment, with the words, "laid off!" Still they would be opening a new store in January. The stress level here seemed, like a new flavor, of the same old offensive taste, from the second option.

While there, I ran into an associate, from my local past life training. We shared stories, and successes, each expanding our hypnotherapy practice. This friend, stayed close, within the program, of one of four or more schools which I received my training at. We discussed how the school had a cleansing, where most of the staff left, at the same time the school went through some new changes of its own. Did people leave fleeing something undesirable, or did they learn so much they all evolved into their own next step, simultaneously? Or perhaps a combination of both. I found it hard to stay at the school, and realize the option to teach there, as I bring as many fresh new ideas and approaches as the school offers, yet I felt the information traveled one way more than multiple ways, there. I feel more impassioned towards the vast array of learning opportunities offered, working with the explorers /(clients) themselves, that returning to the school life, where one is lauded for parroting the teacher, and mainly only this. Running into my associate reaffirmed, that I have far more to offer humanity and my world, by continuing to listen to the SOURCE of who I am, and through facilitating such experiences within those, most magnetized to share in the depth oriented transformation, which I bring.

I also saw my favorite local artist, at the third place, and felt too oddly nervous to stop and say hello. I did feel really excited, to have the instinctive, successful creative in me, mirrored so brilliantly!

I stopped at a tea house, where some friends run a healing clinic of sorts, for a small fee, one can try one of many services. I shared exchanges with three service providers, whom I know, and two old friends from life. I crossed paths with someone leading deep healing work, yet upon asking "how's life?" I was told something to the equivalent that it sucked on all levels. Back to vibrations. Hmmmm, what does it reflect that this person is leading work to reawaken you at the core level, yet she is still running old paradigm programming that every facet of her life is undesirably out of balance! Still she was one of my mirrors for the day, and we had a great exchange!

Later I ran into an old cuddly artist friend, from my Santa Fe life. We hugged, shared updates and my friend invited me to an "art show." The art show was kind of on my path, and recommended, so I thought it might be fun to drop in. I did not really feel completely into it, still I was curious. Why not maintain ties with the art world, here in the art mecca? So I drove down into the warehouse district, and finally found the lane, off the road. I made my way in to this very counter culture, drab, open warehouse space, filled with conceptual art, around the concept, or theme of cakes. The focus of those there seemed to be, one of desperation, to bring in some fast money, more than to create outstanding, or interesting art.

I asked a few attending hosts, "are you an artist?" and "what is this benefit for?" To raise money for this arts collective/creative space. Yet the feeling I had was, many there were dressed in very drab clothing, in muted grays and browns, and the paintings seemed to be thrown together at the last minute, screaming more of a "societal outsider/victim's pain and existential angst, than any sort of real talent or passion. The community felt mainly comprised of people who drink and party a lot, as a form of escapism. I felt very out of place, as if my colorful accessories, love of life, light, transformation, and positivity, was in some kind of direct opposition to the cult of misunderstood, disenfranchised outsider artists. And I'm a fan of outsider art! The art seemed to come out of some drug stupor. I grabbed an orange iced, chocolate cupcake, and excused myself. Walking out I felt relieved to go, feeling really outside of whatever the prevalent fad there was. I thought back to the "Fire Ravaged Room," exhibit, at my friend's San Francisco Art Institute Graduation Show, back in the 80's. "Art instead of therapy!" I thought. Vibrationally I was not at all a match to this energy. I was glad to have given it a chance. I was also glad to keep moving.

Also saw a sweet artist friend, on the road, www.IshkotenDougi.com, one who is showing in an upcoming "Demon show," I too am showing in, with their circle. I honked, sending my hellos through the atmosphere.

Some of the vibrations I encountered, on my Santa Fe Walk About, yesterday included:

love

friendship

victimhood

grief

sickness

discipline

praise

divinity

light

empowerment

leadership

lack

resistance

contraction

self doubt

hiding

drug culture

outsiders

humor

resonance

creativity

soulfulness

expansion

traumatization

self mastery

magic

unity

right livlihood

dearness

connection

outsiders

resentment

gathering

creating

sweetness

fortitude

helpfulness

service

purpose

and

triumph