Wednesday, December 31, 2025

Finding Clarity, Trust, and Harmony Within




Grateful sharing joy with amazing friends, and also sometimes recalibrating quietly with my spirit guides and my wholeness.


This year has been so intense out there, on loved ones, and within myself, even though I am safe, well, and loved!  It’s been incredibly supportive to steep in my own center, and take days and nights and some whole weeks, to simply work, rest, relax, and be, and not too much else.


In the New Year, I can reassess.


Last year and this year, I felt this extreme sensitivity to how I allowed some of my friends to engage with me.  I felt a new wave of this, again this holiday.


I am feeling less tolerant of what I call looting and polluting, and sometimes invasion, or all knowing future predictions from external sources.  What’s more is I’m learning to clarify this, sometimes awkwardly.  Sometimes I just pull inward, and leave my friends outside, as I tend to my soul in ways I don’t always feel met in from outside.


In my workplace, we all bring certain levels of security, soul, spiritual backbone, and self responsibility.  We don’t agree on everything, and we instead respect and love each other, without needing to push anyone to be more like us!


After the experiment of the scamdemic, well I ended up steeping within my direct self and life, a lot more.


I’m still part imperfect human, and whole soul and spirit.


My mom passed 18 or more months ago.  We both challenged and loved one another.  Our relationship softened at the end, as she was again very secure on multiple levels, and softened, across her last chapters.  It was a gift to all of us!  I also consciously chose to live out West, and far away from her, across my adult years.


Now that the LIGHT is really embracing LIFE, and the influences of the dark are also playing out, and new levels of divide are being weaponized, and played out against us, I am finding empowerment within.  


Some say the New Earth is active, and some say the reptilians have been cleared, and that we are on a positive path where New Earth, harmony, peace, and beauty are more assured than ever.


I see, feel, and honor this as a reality, a probability for we willing to align within such Grace, connection, and beauty!


I feel the energies have shifted, in me, and around me.  Like a massage therapist who has worn their body out, and moves to a less intensive form of service, I feel more called to seek, secure, and find joy and harmony and beauty within.


2025 was the first year, in about 15 or so, where I just wasn’t up for helping others glean healing and guidance from within, officially, for my work.


I wasn’t particularly up for seeking deep, official, external outlets, nor facilitators to help me find guidance and healing within.  No fancy tricks really appealed to me, on this level.  I overall did not make much of any art, nor do anything formal with my writing, outside of sharing with my own psyche by journaling, receiving crystaline colors for comfort, and spouting and sharing some insights on Facebook.


I take comfort in not knowing what I will be doing next, nor what I will do to earn my way, nor which friends I will share life with.


It feels like a death on so many levels.  I also have more books, and possessions, in ways that feel oppressive, rather than freeing.  I’ve been slow to let go of so many things, and scale down as I’m really drawn to.  Many DVD’s, books, and soon CD’s in boxes, ready to release.


I may call in help in the new year, to scale down efficiently.


I did travel to Hot Springs Arkansas, and stay with  my beloved Soul SiStar Lori Smiskol, and meet friends there, and steep in nature, fitness, healing community, and simplicity of small, quaint, welcoming community.  I felt at home here, in ways I haven’t felt consistently in Santa Fe, across the crimes against humanity, and the war in new forms, against America and human kind, of the last 6 years.  


Still I celebrate our evolution primarily, and see the war, as secondary, and not fully mine to hold, nor carry.


Yet I needed to cultivate the wonderful feelings found there, here in my own heart, life, and community.  Never expected to desire to leave all that I love here, in and around Santa Fe, New Mexico.  Yet this is still my plan.


So I feel that my new quantum leap is letting me be me, trusting the divinity of who I am, and allowing this shift to amplify my trust, to let other people be who they are.


It’s different from how I was, in some ways, and a dear continuum also.


So what can I do, but bless my changes, my exceptionally slow pace, my unknowing, my knowing, and my leap to quantum clarity, without too much bravado nor say about it, fully!?!


Slowing down, allowing who I am, and growing new security in this right here, right now, helps me embrace and celebrate new levels of TRUST, in who I am.


I haven’t texted, e-mailed, messenger mailed, nor called everyone back.  Haven’t thanked everyone, nor followed through on everything I could have.  Still more to do on those outward call-and-responses.


Still I am pleased with my clarity, comfort levels, and trust in my soul, spirit, choices, life, and human expression.


I will share this, and love and trust those who ultimately share resonance, leaping forward.


It is good.  I bless my mess, my pace, and my empowerment journey, right here on planet Earth.


I bless you and yours too, all who know me, all who read this, all who don’t.  I love you, and bless yours journey, our learning, our recalibration, yours and my empowerment too.  It’s been an astounding journey.  And it continues to be so!


We are here.  We qualified to be here.  May as well bless it all!


Monday, May 5, 2025

Emergence, Renewal, and New Leaps




I am grateful 
to my friend Wayne Overall, who shared some encouraging words about my expressive writing gifts, with me today.


I guess I stopped expressing through writing, at least formally, on my blog, early in 2021.


Probably around this same time, I also shut down my love of, and prioritization of expressing through making art, when I instead was facing the loss of so many of my closest friends and caring friendships.


This is all something worthy of looking at, and reviving, where vitality invites!


There is a lot of my true self, my home, my property, my passions, my self care, and visions for what I intended, and even my soul work, that I have simply shut down, and stopped uplifting.


I’ve lived through the passing, near and beyond 90, of both my beloved parents.


I’ve lived through the trauma of broken friendships, betrayals of sorts, or simply growth in severed and different directions.


My soul self took on opportunities like I was back in the spiritual world, like I was limitless.


Yet I must have broke, in the energies between defending my truth, and outgrowing my comfort and resonance in and with Santa Fe, amidst the changes within me, and those outside of me.


Now I am living simply, and very aware of the hurts I have let fester inside me, and some out around me!


I am more open to collapsing my tent, here, and moving forward, in a place of new resonance and clear kind beginnings.


I never imagined I would suddenly feel inspired to move on from Santa Fe.  


Yet inspired by my friend and soul sistar Lori Smiskol, I am plotting my likely course, somewhere more gentle for me.


Also inspired by my friend and soul kin Paula Watters Jones, who moved from Taos, New Mexico, and closer to Dolores Cannon Country, and is loving the dream, growing her food, painting her art, visiting Santa Fe, New Mexico, and selling her paintings on famous Canyon Road!


I am looking at the possibilities that moving to Arkansas may hold.  I am exploring Hot Springs and Hot Springs Village, in central Arkansas, as a possible next leap, and new home, surrounded by gentle people, warm community, lakes, water, crystals, swimming pols, hiking trails, and a slower pace of living, I just may need in recovering myself!


Make Jen Great Again.


My last name and my essence is encoded with clarity.  And alas we are in a polarity school.  


So while I feel self judgment, sadness, failure, and pretty lonely through so much of these changes, I equally welcome and bless trailblazing transformation, new beginnings, clarity, and renewal.


I will turn 60 in a few months.  I’m ready to leave a  lot of wreckage and loss behind me, and explore a whole new cycle of who I am, opening more room for me, and new levels and expressions of nature, America, community, friendship, safety, balance, ease, communion, and blessed service.


I am ready to embrace the unknown, to be free, and be free to be me, in a whole new place and way.


I am grateful to all the people and places, community, and activities thus far, here, in my home of 25 years.


And I am ready to try something new, and to embrace a whole new cycle of a life that delights and surprises me first, and me to share, as I glean a new flow.


So thank you to all who inspire me.


The divide, crash, fall, and breakdown, has not been easy!  Yet we emerge anew and can do so, again and again.


On the wings of love, all my Dear Ones!


I love you all,  across our odd changes, and beyond!


Sad for the lower range emotions.  Yet grateful for opportunities through authenticity, for betterment, renewal, uplift, and connection.


This quest began in connection!


This human experience, it cheers us on, when we hold it in a fresh and bright light!


Dear encouragement on your best pathway, and quantum leaps, my precious friends! 💛💖🩵