Did my Soul Choose my Parents, All 6 of them?

This impassioned blog entry is copied from a comment I made on a support group I am part of, where individuals are gathered in empowerment, and encouragement, as we are all healing from the human condition, recovering and transforming from Narcissistic abuse in our families of origins. The whole original post was deleted from the group, as it both broke some basic group rules, and also insulted most of the members who took great offense to the article, which I actually mostly aligned with.

Someone in the group posted a link to an article from A.R.E. Edgar Casey's Foundation, entitled "Choosing your Parents," about how as souls, we are assisted by the Angels, in a pre life planning meeting, where we choose our parents. In the group I am a member of, most of the people who commented on the Soul honoring post, were deeply offended, and pained by the concept of souls choosing our parents. I attempt to debunk what I know, hold and research as the truth behind this, even as the article was illegally posted, as per the rules of the group, by someone else.

I wrote this article to shed light on the truth regarding the controversial post under review, and now deleted: "Choosing your parents. " I think I can put it in a context somewhat, without making anyone right or wrong, more from my own experience, wisdom, and training. Some may find healing in my story and awareness, if you allow the whole overview.

I am an adult, adopted, only child. I trained in hypnotherapy and past life regression 25 years ago, after hypnotherapy helped me heal fear held in the body that had developed into chronic pain. Later a friend studied my astrological chart, and noted that these experiences, that of having pain, and finding help, then training as a facilitator of the same tools that helped me, is in my astrological chart. I have trained with 2 + teachers, very famous for their work and books, Dolores Cannon and Dr. Brian Weiss. They have many videos on youtube, and Brian Weiss has appeared twice on Oprah. The sessions I have received, have given me a lot of deep answers, from the SOURCE within.

I met a ThetaHealer, work I am now trained in also, at one of my hypnotherapy and past live regression training sessions. She had intuitive/psychic abilities. She was kind of giving away free guidance, as she tuned into Creator and the Angels, through the Creator. I sat at an outdoor dining table, in Austin Texas, and asked her my Soul's purpose. What she said was profound. She said, "You've experienced a lot of abandonment, and if that's all it was for, it would make for a pretty depressing life. Yet that's not all it was for. As a soul, you set all this up, so you could eventually find spiritual tools and processes that help you transform your trauma, leading you to master those tools, to help others through their trauma."

A few more brief points. I agree that the way this author of the article speaks, could really come off as offensive to people in the West, who don't share in a solid belief of an eternal soul, reincarnation, life purpose, life as a school for our soul, and so on. The author describes it in a kind of simplistic way. My teachers have shared some wonderful insights on how this stuff works, as thousands of clients/explorers have shared through their sessions. The soul is whole, and choses from a very unlimited perspective. It's never intending pain for the sake of pain, punishment, etc. So a far more down to earth description to me is that it's more like theater.

Throughout my life, my Mom and her friends were in a theater troupe, and put on musicals and plays. To me our soul is the actor and actress, who is willing to forget who we truly are, whole, a ray of God's love, divine and connected to all of life. I am told this is one of the most complex planets. and that we are all billions of lifetimes old, not just on Earth. One reason people sign on to be challenged by parents who have their own problems is to help end the brokeness, suffering, pain, and abuse in a whole, or multiple lineages.

Sad as it sounds to say it, one might gain great levels of compassion as a soul, living through abuse. They might be inspired to shift the whole lineage and never treat anyone as we were treated. I know it can seem like gaslighting, implying that life is, " just a play!" And still you get to decide and research if you buy into such possibilities. I am trained in a process, and have received hypnotherapy where we visit the soul's life planning meeting, and ask questions like, "What did I sign on to teach to, and learn from each parent?" I was adopted so my session took twice as long.

In addition to having a birth mother, and a biological father, my adoptive father remarried twice, so that makes a total of 6 parents, including my 2 step mothers.

I signed on to learn what someone very earth based sees reality to be, to help me learn about the Earth plane, while I am so very at home in the soul, and soul realms, and much less so in physical limitations. I came to remind my mom that we all are souls. My dad and I both are here with a more grace based love, reminding each other that we are gifted each gifted, accomplished, creative souls! I believe my Mom and I love each other dearly, as souls. Yet on Earth, I mostly want to get the hell away from her, because she is so deeply at war within herself. I believe that Borderlines and Narcissists forget God and the Spirit and Soul realities. That is a huge part of their pain and trauma.

I am taking steps, and receiving support to root myself back in enough wholeness, joy, strength, and love to be able to love and enjoy myself fully, to in turn enjoy and love my Mom as exactly who she is. She has not been able to do this within herself, for herself, in this lifetime. How was she to teach me about something that eluded her so?

In the meantime my own wholeness is taking precedence, as I reboot, stepping up into a whole new chapter of who I am, and what I am here to create, catalyze, receive, allow, and share.

One more piece of the puzzle. Dolores Cannon, my hypnotherapy teacher, in her 19 books and hundreds of lectures and interviews on youtube, was told, lost information, as we connect with the SubConscious mind, while in the deepened, Somnanbulistic state, otherwise known as trance or hypnosis, specifically QHHT, Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique, which answers life questions and administers healing, in clients. They/we have revealed that all along, and especially after WW2, that the beings who watch over Planet Earth, saw that the people
on Earth were warring and nearing the possibility of destroying life on Earth and the planet with destructive repercussions, rippling out into the cosmos. 

Indigenous elders and seers, and later what was described as "the three waves of volunteers, are beings from the higher dimensions, from the stars, who were called in to help steward us into an age of peace love and harmony. Maybe we are all part of that group of volunteers. Maybe we are the ones who said, yes I would be willing to forget my connection to God, and be born into families filled with forgetting, fear, pain, internal warring, and abuse, so that I can reach a point, where I say, "It ends with me!" 

I joke with people who relate to this, and come and find me, as friends and or as clients/explorers. I say, if we volunteered here, to embody love, and heal humanity, then it would have been a waste, to incarnate into a super healthy joyful, harmonious family. There are children all over the world, now who at age 2, 3, 4 and 5 retain memories from past lives in all cultures and skin colors, that are being verified, when researched. 

Many religions and cultures have prophesies about the New Earth and time of Heaven on Earth that is to come, and is in process of birthing itself, through us, right now. I believe we are all a part of that. I respect and honor if this does not fit with your beliefs. Most of my hypnotherapy teachers, including Bill Thornton, who was originally a fire and brimstone Baptist Minister, held no beliefs in past life regression, before clients spontaneously opened into such memories, and or they regressed to past lives, in their own training!

Thank you for allowing me to shed light on a complex topic that is so near and dear to my heart.  

The moderator of the group I am in, contacted me privately and explained that the private group on a major social media network, is a support group, and not a recovery group.  

So my rights and freedom to communicate on their virtual wall, got temporarily banned.

So here I am, sharing freely, where I am the main soul allowing my truth, wholeness, fullness, experience, and knowing, without ridicule, condescension, limitations, or conflict!

Thank you for opening up to my truth.

Truly,

Jen

Vibration

"Family" Painting by Jen

Yesterday I drove into town, into Santa Fe, to meet an old family friend. The friend was traveling across country, with a new love. It was a very sweet vibrational offering to share in. They told stories, of how they had been in love sixty years ago. The male counterpart, confessed that he had wished to marry this woman, while dating her in high school, yet they went separate ways, and ended up marrying other people. After his wife passed on, he was reunited with my friend, and a love kindled naturally and easily, as it had done over sixty years before.

We shared a meal at the French Creperie, in La Fonda Hotel, which was quite divine. We shared some tales. My friend reported news from my family, back in Illinois, dwelling on the worst current changes of their friend circle. We talked in that old paradigm style for a while, about who had a stroke, who's children are facing health challenges, and other similar stories. I noticed the vibration shifted to this more hopeless helpless filter, some back in my hometown, are continually energizing.

I paced this vibration, playing, "I can top your worst story," a game my relative in Illinois, often plays. I told an, "if you think that's bad, listen to this one," tragic tale, of a third party, I am not around to see. Author Caroline Myss calls this "woundology bonding," which Jews call "kvetching." In some circles, this is so habitual, there is no way out of the tragic focus loop.

I recently introduced a communications boundary with the family member, noted above, who seems to habitually communicate, predominantly, from within the narrow band of this tragic focus loop! They are seemingly always at war within, in chaos, fear, rage and blame, and always projecting this outwardly, onto me, for any and all reasons, for an excuse for their own, habitual, unresolved pain. All others, of this distinctive energy vibration, have since fallen out of my immediate life.

I once read in an early "Kryon," book, that the energetic overlay, or filter, or karma of the Jewish People is "suffering." I am Jewish by birth, through adoption, and culturally, while relating more as a spiritual being, than a religious one. Jews are known for guilt trips, for "kvetching," which is yiddish for whining, moaning, bitching & complaining, and sometimes for habitually perpetuating the state of malcontent, from the inside out! I am proud to be culturally jewish, from a long lineage of cool origins, of a people that are not so insecure as to need to proselytize, and who historically gathered and questioned their own teachings! Yet I have lived for so long, now, with a knowing that we inhabit all races and religions, all life stations, and lessons, in various incarnations, that I see through what many continually identify with.

My friend called the other day, with a very important question, "Which spoon, and which sponge did you use, to make hot cocoa for the kids?" "I used a Winnie the Pooh, kid's spoon!" My friend was gracious, yet commented she would have to throw the spoon and dish rag out, as they touched dairy, (powdered dairy,) and were thus no longer Kosher. All I could think of was, how startling that anyone in this day and age, is still living by the ancient superstitions of dead old patriarchs, who believed in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth!

I am becoming more attuned to vibrations, as I open up my heart, being and my Trailblazing Transformation practice. I felt tingling pain body waves, emanating from a friend's shoulder, and straight into my palm, while posing for photos, last weekend. She confirmed, it was the arm that had been crushed in a car wreck!

I searched three possible part time job options, yesterday, while running some errands, during my transition of bridging my way into full flow, with my business. My heart & my gut say, my Trailblazing Transformation practice, is my most rewarding life gift and investment right now! Yet I am not completely immuned to the opposing thoughts of one family member, and the companies I deal with to provide services, to keep my life and business running and thriving.

I entered the only place I feel extreme resonance with, for a side job, and was really met in respect and dignity, as I was told the protocol for applying. The energy here felt very resonant, humane and divine. It felt like a light imbued and conscious center.

The second place I visited, felt more startling, more harsh, more artificial, charged, and challenging. I was told, no they were not taking applications. The manager came over, and sounded extremely stressed, announcing that they have enough applicants to not take further applications, for another six months. I felt kind of relieved, that my energetic perceptions of this option, were mirrored back in the stressful reactions of the staff, and management.

The third option, felt larger, more corporate, and more mechanized than the first two. At this storefront, I was told by a young staff member, that many employees are currently being fired! He escorted me to a manager. She reframed his sentiment, with the words, "laid off!" Still they would be opening a new store in January. The stress level here seemed, like a new flavor, of the same old offensive taste, from the second option.

While there, I ran into an associate, from my local past life training. We shared stories, and successes, each expanding our hypnotherapy practice. This friend, stayed close, within the program, of one of four or more schools which I received my training at. We discussed how the school had a cleansing, where most of the staff left, at the same time the school went through some new changes of its own. Did people leave fleeing something undesirable, or did they learn so much they all evolved into their own next step, simultaneously? Or perhaps a combination of both. I found it hard to stay at the school, and realize the option to teach there, as I bring as many fresh new ideas and approaches as the school offers, yet I felt the information traveled one way more than multiple ways, there. I feel more impassioned towards the vast array of learning opportunities offered, working with the explorers /(clients) themselves, that returning to the school life, where one is lauded for parroting the teacher, and mainly only this. Running into my associate reaffirmed, that I have far more to offer humanity and my world, by continuing to listen to the SOURCE of who I am, and through facilitating such experiences within those, most magnetized to share in the depth oriented transformation, which I bring.

I also saw my favorite local artist, at the third place, and felt too oddly nervous to stop and say hello. I did feel really excited, to have the instinctive, successful creative in me, mirrored so brilliantly!

I stopped at a tea house, where some friends run a healing clinic of sorts, for a small fee, one can try one of many services. I shared exchanges with three service providers, whom I know, and two old friends from life. I crossed paths with someone leading deep healing work, yet upon asking "how's life?" I was told something to the equivalent that it sucked on all levels. Back to vibrations. Hmmmm, what does it reflect that this person is leading work to reawaken you at the core level, yet she is still running old paradigm programming that every facet of her life is undesirably out of balance! Still she was one of my mirrors for the day, and we had a great exchange!

Later I ran into an old cuddly artist friend, from my Santa Fe life. We hugged, shared updates and my friend invited me to an "art show." The art show was kind of on my path, and recommended, so I thought it might be fun to drop in. I did not really feel completely into it, still I was curious. Why not maintain ties with the art world, here in the art mecca? So I drove down into the warehouse district, and finally found the lane, off the road. I made my way in to this very counter culture, drab, open warehouse space, filled with conceptual art, around the concept, or theme of cakes. The focus of those there seemed to be, one of desperation, to bring in some fast money, more than to create outstanding, or interesting art.

I asked a few attending hosts, "are you an artist?" and "what is this benefit for?" To raise money for this arts collective/creative space. Yet the feeling I had was, many there were dressed in very drab clothing, in muted grays and browns, and the paintings seemed to be thrown together at the last minute, screaming more of a "societal outsider/victim's pain and existential angst, than any sort of real talent or passion. The community felt mainly comprised of people who drink and party a lot, as a form of escapism. I felt very out of place, as if my colorful accessories, love of life, light, transformation, and positivity, was in some kind of direct opposition to the cult of misunderstood, disenfranchised outsider artists. And I'm a fan of outsider art! The art seemed to come out of some drug stupor. I grabbed an orange iced, chocolate cupcake, and excused myself. Walking out I felt relieved to go, feeling really outside of whatever the prevalent fad there was. I thought back to the "Fire Ravaged Room," exhibit, at my friend's San Francisco Art Institute Graduation Show, back in the 80's. "Art instead of therapy!" I thought. Vibrationally I was not at all a match to this energy. I was glad to have given it a chance. I was also glad to keep moving.

Also saw a sweet artist friend, on the road, www.IshkotenDougi.com, one who is showing in an upcoming "Demon show," I too am showing in, with their circle. I honked, sending my hellos through the atmosphere.

Some of the vibrations I encountered, on my Santa Fe Walk About, yesterday included:

love

friendship

victimhood

grief

sickness

discipline

praise

divinity

light

empowerment

leadership

lack

resistance

contraction

self doubt

hiding

drug culture

outsiders

humor

resonance

creativity

soulfulness

expansion

traumatization

self mastery

magic

unity

right livlihood

dearness

connection

outsiders

resentment

gathering

creating

sweetness

fortitude

helpfulness

service

purpose

and

triumph