Navigational Tips for Individuals Discovering a Narcissistic Individual in their Family or Life

This blogpost was inspired by a call for guidance wall post, of a fellow adult daughter, healing from Narcissistic abuse of a Narcissistic mother, in a private social media support group. The following is inspired by my response to her.

The group member posted of having recently learned that she has a Narcissistic Mother, after some intensive personal therapy, of her own. She is realizing how common and predictable the Narcissistic Mother's behaviors truly are. She asked if it would be a good idea to point out to her Narcissistic Mother, the unhealthy behaviors she acts out, and if this would help her mother? And she also asked if it will ever be possible to share a relationship with her, once she the adult daughter, sets healthy boundaries?

Welcome to the club, Human Relative. It is amazing to me to live at a time, when so many are contributing to help us see, understand, and heal from unhealed Narcissists and their messy, abusive behaviors. I like all the guidance you’ve been given here.

It’s a tricky steep slope, and it is well worth setting some boundaries, and carving out a small spaces for yourself as a non-abuse zones.

There are countless wonderful videos on YouTube that are like mini coaching sessions for us.

Some describe interacting with a Narcissist as a constant chess game. Gray rocking is helpful, yet if they're walking all over you, sometimes saying something stronger is useful, like, “I know that’s not about me,” “I hear you and I see it differently,” and or “no thank you, I’ll oversee my own blah blah blah!”

Remember that other aspects of the Narcissist and their behaviors include being full of toxic shame, being fake, putting on an act, being an empty shell or a donning a mask. They can’t truly love because they’ve been hurt too bad and don’t trust love is real. 

They are usually more jaded, wounded, even paranoid and distrusting of others. They can’t see you as separate, more of an appendage. They can’t have a 2 way, balanced, concerned conversation, and instead gain fuel through any engagement, drama, defense, etc with you. They will offload and dump their toxic poisons into, and on you. Keeping themselves in the superior position and you, and others in the inferior one, is a constant need and strategy. They lie and use manipulative tactics to avoid responsibility for the manipulative ways they treat you and others. 

And as you get healthy and start to set and maintain boundaries, and see and call them on their manipulative behaviors and Narcissistic habits, this triggers their Narcissistic wounding, as in it highlights the wounded real self they hide from people, and hide from themselves. So as you get healthier, they lose  some of their mask, strategic power, control and dominance. This is both highly dangerous and a form of death to them. They will project all their pain, vulnerability and weakness onto you. If you back off to claim healthy whole living, balance and clarity, they will be forced to push other flying monkeys into their sphere, who believe their false dramas and give them fuel without question, hassles, or truth.

They can get worse with age and circumstances, seeing you as a threat or enemy, and can make strategic moves that are the equivalent of cutting you off at the knees to save their own self, false self, delusional existence, fears and fantasies. So viewing them as a poison filled, stunted toddler, with no real accountability, empathy, emotional IQ, no real self worth, and no honesty, nor ability for self responsibility is half the healing equation.  

The other half seems to be building your strength and self love, joy, choice, authority, power, focus, and success up to full-to-overflowing. Recognizing all our natural inner child desires for 2 healthy, treasuring, comforting, valuing parents will never be met by these injured, poison filled, volatile, offensive, fear-based, controlling, childish, two-faced, wounded, insecure, needy beings. And realizing their dramas are not our fault, nor ours to fix. Also realizing they will overall never change, they will never be satisfied, you will never completely save, heal, change, satisfy, nor fix them. And realizing that we will never fill all the holes in their bucket, nor get real love from them, is also a crucial step in our healing.

The only one we can change is our own self.

Once we start to see all this, it shifts the whole balance of the levels of health we allow, in ourselves and in other people in our lives.

Then our standards for healthy relating can grow so strong, we can secure health, truth, boundaries, caring, honesty, authenticity, joy, balance, wholeness and success, even inspiration and self care within ourselves, and really inspire our close family and friends in the healthiest ways. Thus we effect change and positivity in this world, from the inside out!

The awkward part, is that once we learn what Narcissism is, and how it works, what is healthy for us, is disturbing and dangerous for them. Their misery, victimhood, pain and problem states seem pathetic and exaggerated, as they start to lose their power to manipulate and feed off of us!

Remembering we are innocent, despite how they try to smash us, and becoming our own strength and authority are all empowering steps for us, as we learn how to un-shoulder, unshackle, and untether from their sickness and manipulation tactics, habits, toxic hand-me-downs, projections, and energy sucking, enmeshing tethers.

I just listened to a few wonderful powerful new support videos on Youtube (see links below.) The presenters reminded of a few key points. One is that Narcissists have the equivalent of brain damage, and as they age, it is highly unlikely that it will ever heal, go away, and or change. 

Two, they are insecure, and thus need to diminish and cut down other people to raise themselves up. 

Three, the insecure narcissist can trigger your insecurities, so the best response you can bring, is remaining as secure and strong within yourself and life, as possible, both for yourself, and in interactions with them. 

And four, if and when the Narcissist goes to therapy, they do not go as healthy individuals, rather they go to learn all the ways that did not work of manipulating their Narcissistic Supply Providers, and to strategize new ways to manipulate the people in their immediate life. Thus, even therapy can make them sicker and more dangerous. 

Therapy isn't for everyone, only for the emotionally responsible. I guess our job is to become so strong and love filled, that we develop a natural immunity to the toxic shame they steep in and project out, through bouts of volatility, projection, rage, and childish tantrums! Our assignment also includes creating wonderful lives for ourself, and getting our focus off them.

Blessings on the eye opening journey of self reclamation!

Here are three new YouTube videos that I find beautifully helpful, as discovered today.

How the Insecure Narcissist Can Trigger your Insecurities - Dr. Les Carter - Surviving Narcissism

Imaginary Confessions of a Narcissist (If only they could be this honest) - Dr. Les Carter - Surviving Narcissism

Light Language Healing for Full Chakra Cleanse with Marlene Cronin

Here are some additional resources for anyone open to, or needing to learn more about Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. I have gathered the following support YouTube Videos on this topic, weeding out some of the most super supportive, highly informative, and less well known insights and guidance videos on a YouTube Playlist I call "Top Resources for Understanding Narcissists."

"Top Resources for Understanding Narcissists."
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ3OniDZNuJhtAdY_SIF91lBCAxdjjkcv

The second list I am sharing is a far more comprehensive list.  Here it is:

"Resources for Understanding and Recovery from Narcissists... (and Narcissistic Abuse)"
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ3OniDZNuJgmr27PA-Qg9gxKU7nv62GH

If you are interested in the New Earth based toolkits I offer on this path of Soul Expansion, Please visit my website at: 

www.TrailblazingTransformation.com 

where you can learn more about ThetaHealing, Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique, and Parallel Life Regression.

Stay tuned for more new offerings, in the making right now!

I welcome you to share this blog entry, and these resources freely.

We have been trained to love our family, parents and partners unconditionally. I recommend and encourage new terminology, which is to love and relate with wholehearted discernment. Many of these unhealthy patterns grew out of times when emotional I.Q. was really, overall not considered, studied, honored, nor understood. 

You are living in new times, when teachers like Brené Brown, Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks, Vianna Stibal, The Pleiadians through Nora Herold, Dolores Cannon, Dr. Eric Pearl, Dr. Les Carter, Lisa A. Romano, and you and I, Jen Klarfeld exist, and are helping turn the whole game around for good!

Let us celebrate, be vulnerable, honor imperfections, and honor our divinity by being whole, gentle, loving, unifying, Graced and grateful within this grand Creation.

Cocreative Kin: Be blessed!

Did my Soul Choose my Parents, All 6 of them?

This impassioned blog entry is copied from a comment I made on a support group I am part of, where individuals are gathered in empowerment, and encouragement, as we are all healing from the human condition, recovering and transforming from Narcissistic abuse in our families of origins. The whole original post was deleted from the group, as it both broke some basic group rules, and also insulted most of the members who took great offense to the article, which I actually mostly aligned with.

Someone in the group posted a link to an article from A.R.E. Edgar Casey's Foundation, entitled "Choosing your Parents," about how as souls, we are assisted by the Angels, in a pre life planning meeting, where we choose our parents. In the group I am a member of, most of the people who commented on the Soul honoring post, were deeply offended, and pained by the concept of souls choosing our parents. I attempt to debunk what I know, hold and research as the truth behind this, even as the article was illegally posted, as per the rules of the group, by someone else.

I wrote this article to shed light on the truth regarding the controversial post under review, and now deleted: "Choosing your parents. " I think I can put it in a context somewhat, without making anyone right or wrong, more from my own experience, wisdom, and training. Some may find healing in my story and awareness, if you allow the whole overview.

I am an adult, adopted, only child. I trained in hypnotherapy and past life regression 25 years ago, after hypnotherapy helped me heal fear held in the body that had developed into chronic pain. Later a friend studied my astrological chart, and noted that these experiences, that of having pain, and finding help, then training as a facilitator of the same tools that helped me, is in my astrological chart. I have trained with 2 + teachers, very famous for their work and books, Dolores Cannon and Dr. Brian Weiss. They have many videos on youtube, and Brian Weiss has appeared twice on Oprah. The sessions I have received, have given me a lot of deep answers, from the SOURCE within.

I met a ThetaHealer, work I am now trained in also, at one of my hypnotherapy and past live regression training sessions. She had intuitive/psychic abilities. She was kind of giving away free guidance, as she tuned into Creator and the Angels, through the Creator. I sat at an outdoor dining table, in Austin Texas, and asked her my Soul's purpose. What she said was profound. She said, "You've experienced a lot of abandonment, and if that's all it was for, it would make for a pretty depressing life. Yet that's not all it was for. As a soul, you set all this up, so you could eventually find spiritual tools and processes that help you transform your trauma, leading you to master those tools, to help others through their trauma."

A few more brief points. I agree that the way this author of the article speaks, could really come off as offensive to people in the West, who don't share in a solid belief of an eternal soul, reincarnation, life purpose, life as a school for our soul, and so on. The author describes it in a kind of simplistic way. My teachers have shared some wonderful insights on how this stuff works, as thousands of clients/explorers have shared through their sessions. The soul is whole, and choses from a very unlimited perspective. It's never intending pain for the sake of pain, punishment, etc. So a far more down to earth description to me is that it's more like theater.

Throughout my life, my Mom and her friends were in a theater troupe, and put on musicals and plays. To me our soul is the actor and actress, who is willing to forget who we truly are, whole, a ray of God's love, divine and connected to all of life. I am told this is one of the most complex planets. and that we are all billions of lifetimes old, not just on Earth. One reason people sign on to be challenged by parents who have their own problems is to help end the brokeness, suffering, pain, and abuse in a whole, or multiple lineages.

Sad as it sounds to say it, one might gain great levels of compassion as a soul, living through abuse. They might be inspired to shift the whole lineage and never treat anyone as we were treated. I know it can seem like gaslighting, implying that life is, " just a play!" And still you get to decide and research if you buy into such possibilities. I am trained in a process, and have received hypnotherapy where we visit the soul's life planning meeting, and ask questions like, "What did I sign on to teach to, and learn from each parent?" I was adopted so my session took twice as long.

In addition to having a birth mother, and a biological father, my adoptive father remarried twice, so that makes a total of 6 parents, including my 2 step mothers.

I signed on to learn what someone very earth based sees reality to be, to help me learn about the Earth plane, while I am so very at home in the soul, and soul realms, and much less so in physical limitations. I came to remind my mom that we all are souls. My dad and I both are here with a more grace based love, reminding each other that we are gifted each gifted, accomplished, creative souls! I believe my Mom and I love each other dearly, as souls. Yet on Earth, I mostly want to get the hell away from her, because she is so deeply at war within herself. I believe that Borderlines and Narcissists forget God and the Spirit and Soul realities. That is a huge part of their pain and trauma.

I am taking steps, and receiving support to root myself back in enough wholeness, joy, strength, and love to be able to love and enjoy myself fully, to in turn enjoy and love my Mom as exactly who she is. She has not been able to do this within herself, for herself, in this lifetime. How was she to teach me about something that eluded her so?

In the meantime my own wholeness is taking precedence, as I reboot, stepping up into a whole new chapter of who I am, and what I am here to create, catalyze, receive, allow, and share.

One more piece of the puzzle. Dolores Cannon, my hypnotherapy teacher, in her 19 books and hundreds of lectures and interviews on youtube, was told, lost information, as we connect with the SubConscious mind, while in the deepened, Somnanbulistic state, otherwise known as trance or hypnosis, specifically QHHT, Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique, which answers life questions and administers healing, in clients. They/we have revealed that all along, and especially after WW2, that the beings who watch over Planet Earth, saw that the people
on Earth were warring and nearing the possibility of destroying life on Earth and the planet with destructive repercussions, rippling out into the cosmos. 

Indigenous elders and seers, and later what was described as "the three waves of volunteers, are beings from the higher dimensions, from the stars, who were called in to help steward us into an age of peace love and harmony. Maybe we are all part of that group of volunteers. Maybe we are the ones who said, yes I would be willing to forget my connection to God, and be born into families filled with forgetting, fear, pain, internal warring, and abuse, so that I can reach a point, where I say, "It ends with me!" 

I joke with people who relate to this, and come and find me, as friends and or as clients/explorers. I say, if we volunteered here, to embody love, and heal humanity, then it would have been a waste, to incarnate into a super healthy joyful, harmonious family. There are children all over the world, now who at age 2, 3, 4 and 5 retain memories from past lives in all cultures and skin colors, that are being verified, when researched. 

Many religions and cultures have prophesies about the New Earth and time of Heaven on Earth that is to come, and is in process of birthing itself, through us, right now. I believe we are all a part of that. I respect and honor if this does not fit with your beliefs. Most of my hypnotherapy teachers, including Bill Thornton, who was originally a fire and brimstone Baptist Minister, held no beliefs in past life regression, before clients spontaneously opened into such memories, and or they regressed to past lives, in their own training!

Thank you for allowing me to shed light on a complex topic that is so near and dear to my heart.  

The moderator of the group I am in, contacted me privately and explained that the private group on a major social media network, is a support group, and not a recovery group.  

So my rights and freedom to communicate on their virtual wall, got temporarily banned.

So here I am, sharing freely, where I am the main soul allowing my truth, wholeness, fullness, experience, and knowing, without ridicule, condescension, limitations, or conflict!

Thank you for opening up to my truth.

Truly,

Jen

Resources for Understanding and Recovery from Narcissists

Art by Jen Klarfeld

Do you ever feel undermined by others, in odd ways that seem to have nothing to do with you? Have you ever felt like you're not the captain of your own LIFE's ship? Then this list may be of supreme help for you!

In my own journey as an Energetic Sensitive, Empath, and Early Indigo, it has really helped me to learn about the influence of Narcissists, and how to recover my authentic, whole healthy self, as I de-install some of their programs, and disentangle from their taunts, energies, traps and lies.
In my Life and work, I like to get to the root of pain, problems, disease and discomfort.

I know there is a huge trend in both the spiritual and the Ascension Communities to glide by the way of a lot of spiritual bypassing, as in pretending we're a mind, or a no-mind, while rising above, and ignoring our human feelings. I am trained in these approaches some too. They feel good, for an hour here, and a weekend there. Until all that has been repressed turns into illness, or other energetic traps. Another extreme is being so identified with pain and problems that they are one's whole world, and one can fall into using these identifications to play the victim role, and actually inappropriately feed off of others energy, like the world is their long lost mother.

A lot to navigate down here, huh?

My new drive is releasing so many imposed shackles and yokes I have politely shouldered, worn, and carried, for family members, friends, acquaintances, lineages, communities, employers, clients, relations, religions, guilt trippers, Narcissists, systems, a few lovers, and sometimes even strangers.

When I release myself from old slave programs, familial hand me downs, lineage shackles and programs, societal yokes, fellow human's psychic hooks, burdens, and lies, and ultimately my own stored soul programs yokes, shackles, masks, identifications, reactions, and prisons, and the general need to be loved, liked, or understood by anyone, and or everyone... it sure becomes easier to allow and feel my own true feelings which are a vital part of my soul guidance system.

Art by Jen Klarfeld

While exploring the human journey, I have joined friends in researching and healing the scars of Narcissistic Abuse. It's such a wild journey.

One of our favorite Guides on the way is Lisa A. Romano. Follow my links on this list to subscribe to her Youtube playlist of resources for insights, answers, healing and guidance. Order her books on Amazon.com If you need more support, join her Private Facebook group at "Lisa A. Romano Healing from Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse."
My experience is that the Earth is free, the waters are free, the air, elements, galaxy and universe are free, as the humans also are free, only the humans are playing out some other baggage, simultaneously.

To grow into our total truth, wholeness, and freedom, we are individually, and collectively called to sort through, which aspects of the human shadow we are still willing to drag around, and which ones we are healthier giving back!
This is a huge part of my passion, within the human experience. I am an enthusiastic fan of the human soul, and our journey.

Mandala Art Colored and Altered by Jen Klarfeld

Humans fascinate me!

If any of this speaks to you, please follow my link, investigate, explore, express, learn, and find encouragement, support, and uplifting resources!

To learn how I facilitate explorers through the soul expansion arts, feel welcome to visit my website at www.TraiblazingTransformation.com

We are not to blame, our friends and family are not really here to attack back and or blame. These resources are more about helping us better learn and understand the rules to a game, that were often never clarified, expressed, or explained.

Narcissists are operating mostly through unconscious programs, patterns, reactions, and habits, and often have little to no capacity to see, or safely dialog about their responsibility in how they interact, shame, attack, sting, guilt, humiliate, and scapegoat strangers, service providers, waiters, children, grown children, lovers, ex- lovers, enemies, nations, students, and friends!

Please share this link with friends, family and associates who may benefit, by taking this painful subject out of the shadows, and into the light. Many struggling to reclaim our full selves, are isolated, uninformed, and somewhat unsupported!
A little information goes a long way!

Some traits of the Narcissist include:

1. Black and white thinking... always never, all or nothing.

2. Continually blaming outside sources, people, institutions, family members, and generalized groups, for their own victimization.

3. Scapegoating: or as I like to describe it: "I feel like shit... so it must be your fault!"

4. Abusing authority, and disrespecting family, friends, associates and strangers.

5. Wielding jealousy in strange surprising ways.

6. Borderline tendencies border back and forth between fear, then rage, then fear, then rage.

7. Exhibiting "the turn." Children of Narcissists are all too familiar with this intimidating clue. This is when the eyes of the Narcissist fill up with a kind of mischievous poisonous, intent to harm look. This is a clue that their inner fear has crossed into the outer rage category.

8. Holes in the bucket. All the love and good you share easily dissipates, and leaks out, only to be replaced by a weird array of lack, shame, pain, blame, fear and insecurity.

9. Narcissists have no trust of you, and no trust in themselves.

10. No capacity for real intimacy.

11. Sometimes a strong victim identification.

12. No real ability to see, allow, or honor the real you.

13. No real self, more of an act.

14. Narcissists, over and over again, fall into reckless displays of volatility and rage.

15. Narcissists specialize in fear, more than share faith.

16. Cannot self reflect.

17. Often hysterical, and reactive.

18. Hierarchical.

19. Needs validation from external sources.

20. Falls into lack, fear and blame, even when well provided for.

21. Lies, ridicules and attacks those closest to her or him, both behind their back and directly to their face.

22. Starkly different treatment of individuals and groups, adoring a chosen few, while scapegoating another disposable, hated, scapegoated few. They definitely play favorites.

23. May prefer the opposite sex, over the same sex.

24. Uses abandonment or threats of abandonment to control loved ones.

25. Minimizes, devalues, negates, and diminishes others.

26. Gets bored easily.

27. May have poor to no boundaries at all.

28. Uses you to get their needs met.

29. Blames you for not being controllable!

30. Coercive, and or verbally abusive.

31. Acts like everything about you, is actually about them, because often they don't or can't even see you.

32. Cannot be accountable, or remember abuses rendered, spoken, or projected, because the Narcissist's brain chemistry feeds off it's victim, during bouts of the Narc's volatility.

33. Acts warm and caring in public, and abuses certain targets, covertly, in private.

34. Has little to no self esteem.

35. Is highly threatened when called on their abuses!

36. Feels attacked and shuts down when called on their abuses.

37. Attacks or shuts down, when other people express real feelings, as it's all about them, or valueless, or boring.

38. Expresses outlandish, unrealistic, unquenchable needs and projections.

39. Is often unfulfillable.

40. Lives in a constant state of inflated pride, pretending to be someone important, or more rich, powerful, influential, or healthy than others. It's all for show, and they cannot feel this internally.

41. In truth, at the core the Narcissist feels insignificant, unworthy, and cut off.

42. Without some study, and intervention, their insecurity, hopelessness, helplessness, volatility, and rage, pain, lack blame, shame, and blind rage will be passed down to the next generation!

43. Disgust, undermining, indifference, or outright jealousy, when loved ones around them make genuine friends, or experience and share genuine love.

44. Not genuinely interested in self responsibility, accountability, or individual therapy, unless backed into a dire corner.

45. Boundaries are not their thing. They often perceive others' setting boundaries, as a threat or a violation to them.

46. They will use therapy, or promises of therapy, to manipulate loved ones. If they participate in therapy, their preferred choice is to pay for it, control it, and drag other close parties in to scapegoat and blame, while they fund, and thus manipulate the experience as if they are sudenly an expert in the field.

47. Narcissists are often dissociated, and are not always capable of making safe choices and decisions for themselves, yet push out, caring loved ones who would and could intervene and or help.

48. Many lovers, children, employees, clients, and friends can become highly dissociated in the face of dissociated negating narcissists.

49. The ways in which Narcissists are emotionally stunted and shut down, often leave people in their

50. Narcissists easily fall into the role of victim, martyr, or both.

51. Sometimes Narcissists use their victim status to buy love and attention, after driving loved ones away with their sick behaviors!

52. Narcissists are mostly motivated by what they can get out of you and others.

53. Some therapists will not take a Narcissist on, as a client, as Narcissists are more likely than healthy patients to sue their therapists, doctors, healers, and helpers.

54. Narcissists often need to feel and establish themselves as higher, smarter, and wiser than you. They are their car, their neighborhood, their college degree, their credentials, and the financial and class status. The loss of any of these masks, or their outer reputation, is like death to them.

55. To the Narcissist, the world is generally hostile, especially to them.

56. Anything you ever tell them, can and will be used against you.

57. Their accusations often include the word "always."

58. Narcissists can be self endangering, addictive, highly unconscious, and equally endangering to others.

59. Narcissists want you to live dependent on them, and to prove and rub it in, that you couldn't have succeeded, won, survived, and or made it without them.

60. Narcissists need to shove you down, to lift themselves up.

61. Narcissists don;t truly want to hear most of what you have to say.

62. Narcissists do not value you. Narcissists do not value themselves.

63. Narcissists will use you to get their needs met. They may have sex with your lover, steel your boyfriend, steel your business vision, steel your plan. They don't really care, and will do it with no remorse.

64. Narcissists will offer to help you, and pull the rug out from under you, when you are no longer needed, or they get tired, or bored, or no longer see you as valid, beneficial, or useful in meeting their needs.

65. And again, the Narcissist can't really see you. To them, you are more of them.

66. No territory or moment, thought, plan or personal reality is off limits to them. They will call you on the phone, roam around in your head, and tell you where you are, and what you are thinking. They still have no idea you are not them.

67. Narcissists surround themselves with very accommodating, highly flexible friends.

68. You just can't win with the Narcissist. The talk behind your back, when you are to weak. They talk behind your back when you are too strong. They talk behind your back, no matter what you do or don't do!

69. If you divorce a narcissist, they will attack and devalue you to your shared children, as long as possible.

70. Narcissists don't always know how to credit others, thanks others, or truly apologize.

71. Narcissists don't always have the capacity to listen, or express tolerance, or acceptance.

72. In families, communities, and social settings, Narcissists, often require, and set up a scapegoat.

73. Narcissists may never fully offer forgiveness. They will hold onto a grudge, and 50 years later, use it against you.

74. Narcissists can fear for safety, theirs and theirs masquerading as yours, at any and all life stages, regardless of their wealth or poverty.

75. Narcissists often win your trust, draw you in, and then attack, then repeat, and repeat again. It is confusing, and a lot more dangerous and painful, than people who are mostly trustworthy and authentic, or people who are mostly tyrannical. Narcissists play out the whole gamut, winning your trust, kicking you in the balls, winning your trust, sabotaging your trust. Their trust account is overdrawn... so their inclined to mess with yours.
 

76. Narcissists are sick. Many can not be treated with mere pharmaceuticals. Most are unwilling and or incapable of sincere self reflection.

77. Narcissists and healthy people are very different from each other. One of the hardest aspects of being raised by a narcissist, is that it's all one knows, or half of what one knows. Decades can go by, and a victim of narcissistic abuse may not understand the abuse, or know how to escape from or heal its effects.

There are lots of healthy people out there. It may take the recovering victim, or co-dependent, a healthy sum of time, to learn the differences between healthy parents, self, friends, and relationships, and unhealthy ones. It's well worth the effort.

78. The Narcissist is certain that it's everyone else's fault, that the Narcissist lives a life consumed in suffering. This makes it extra tricky for the Empath, and or Co-dependent, to identify the unhealthy patterns, discover their roots, employ healing, receive validation, and reclaim wholeness, worth, and innocence. Still it is a tremendous and valuable initiation!

One More Favorite Resource to Share, a Valuable Resource: The Book: Understanding The Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship, by Christine Ann Lawson

Resources for Understanding and Recovery from Narcissists... YouTube Playlist by Jen Klarfeld:

www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ3OniDZNuJgmr27PA-Qg9gxKU7nv62GH