Vibration

"Family" Painting by Jen

Yesterday I drove into town, into Santa Fe, to meet an old family friend. The friend was traveling across country, with a new love. It was a very sweet vibrational offering to share in. They told stories, of how they had been in love sixty years ago. The male counterpart, confessed that he had wished to marry this woman, while dating her in high school, yet they went separate ways, and ended up marrying other people. After his wife passed on, he was reunited with my friend, and a love kindled naturally and easily, as it had done over sixty years before.

We shared a meal at the French Creperie, in La Fonda Hotel, which was quite divine. We shared some tales. My friend reported news from my family, back in Illinois, dwelling on the worst current changes of their friend circle. We talked in that old paradigm style for a while, about who had a stroke, who's children are facing health challenges, and other similar stories. I noticed the vibration shifted to this more hopeless helpless filter, some back in my hometown, are continually energizing.

I paced this vibration, playing, "I can top your worst story," a game my relative in Illinois, often plays. I told an, "if you think that's bad, listen to this one," tragic tale, of a third party, I am not around to see. Author Caroline Myss calls this "woundology bonding," which Jews call "kvetching." In some circles, this is so habitual, there is no way out of the tragic focus loop.

I recently introduced a communications boundary with the family member, noted above, who seems to habitually communicate, predominantly, from within the narrow band of this tragic focus loop! They are seemingly always at war within, in chaos, fear, rage and blame, and always projecting this outwardly, onto me, for any and all reasons, for an excuse for their own, habitual, unresolved pain. All others, of this distinctive energy vibration, have since fallen out of my immediate life.

I once read in an early "Kryon," book, that the energetic overlay, or filter, or karma of the Jewish People is "suffering." I am Jewish by birth, through adoption, and culturally, while relating more as a spiritual being, than a religious one. Jews are known for guilt trips, for "kvetching," which is yiddish for whining, moaning, bitching & complaining, and sometimes for habitually perpetuating the state of malcontent, from the inside out! I am proud to be culturally jewish, from a long lineage of cool origins, of a people that are not so insecure as to need to proselytize, and who historically gathered and questioned their own teachings! Yet I have lived for so long, now, with a knowing that we inhabit all races and religions, all life stations, and lessons, in various incarnations, that I see through what many continually identify with.

My friend called the other day, with a very important question, "Which spoon, and which sponge did you use, to make hot cocoa for the kids?" "I used a Winnie the Pooh, kid's spoon!" My friend was gracious, yet commented she would have to throw the spoon and dish rag out, as they touched dairy, (powdered dairy,) and were thus no longer Kosher. All I could think of was, how startling that anyone in this day and age, is still living by the ancient superstitions of dead old patriarchs, who believed in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth!

I am becoming more attuned to vibrations, as I open up my heart, being and my Trailblazing Transformation practice. I felt tingling pain body waves, emanating from a friend's shoulder, and straight into my palm, while posing for photos, last weekend. She confirmed, it was the arm that had been crushed in a car wreck!

I searched three possible part time job options, yesterday, while running some errands, during my transition of bridging my way into full flow, with my business. My heart & my gut say, my Trailblazing Transformation practice, is my most rewarding life gift and investment right now! Yet I am not completely immuned to the opposing thoughts of one family member, and the companies I deal with to provide services, to keep my life and business running and thriving.

I entered the only place I feel extreme resonance with, for a side job, and was really met in respect and dignity, as I was told the protocol for applying. The energy here felt very resonant, humane and divine. It felt like a light imbued and conscious center.

The second place I visited, felt more startling, more harsh, more artificial, charged, and challenging. I was told, no they were not taking applications. The manager came over, and sounded extremely stressed, announcing that they have enough applicants to not take further applications, for another six months. I felt kind of relieved, that my energetic perceptions of this option, were mirrored back in the stressful reactions of the staff, and management.

The third option, felt larger, more corporate, and more mechanized than the first two. At this storefront, I was told by a young staff member, that many employees are currently being fired! He escorted me to a manager. She reframed his sentiment, with the words, "laid off!" Still they would be opening a new store in January. The stress level here seemed, like a new flavor, of the same old offensive taste, from the second option.

While there, I ran into an associate, from my local past life training. We shared stories, and successes, each expanding our hypnotherapy practice. This friend, stayed close, within the program, of one of four or more schools which I received my training at. We discussed how the school had a cleansing, where most of the staff left, at the same time the school went through some new changes of its own. Did people leave fleeing something undesirable, or did they learn so much they all evolved into their own next step, simultaneously? Or perhaps a combination of both. I found it hard to stay at the school, and realize the option to teach there, as I bring as many fresh new ideas and approaches as the school offers, yet I felt the information traveled one way more than multiple ways, there. I feel more impassioned towards the vast array of learning opportunities offered, working with the explorers /(clients) themselves, that returning to the school life, where one is lauded for parroting the teacher, and mainly only this. Running into my associate reaffirmed, that I have far more to offer humanity and my world, by continuing to listen to the SOURCE of who I am, and through facilitating such experiences within those, most magnetized to share in the depth oriented transformation, which I bring.

I also saw my favorite local artist, at the third place, and felt too oddly nervous to stop and say hello. I did feel really excited, to have the instinctive, successful creative in me, mirrored so brilliantly!

I stopped at a tea house, where some friends run a healing clinic of sorts, for a small fee, one can try one of many services. I shared exchanges with three service providers, whom I know, and two old friends from life. I crossed paths with someone leading deep healing work, yet upon asking "how's life?" I was told something to the equivalent that it sucked on all levels. Back to vibrations. Hmmmm, what does it reflect that this person is leading work to reawaken you at the core level, yet she is still running old paradigm programming that every facet of her life is undesirably out of balance! Still she was one of my mirrors for the day, and we had a great exchange!

Later I ran into an old cuddly artist friend, from my Santa Fe life. We hugged, shared updates and my friend invited me to an "art show." The art show was kind of on my path, and recommended, so I thought it might be fun to drop in. I did not really feel completely into it, still I was curious. Why not maintain ties with the art world, here in the art mecca? So I drove down into the warehouse district, and finally found the lane, off the road. I made my way in to this very counter culture, drab, open warehouse space, filled with conceptual art, around the concept, or theme of cakes. The focus of those there seemed to be, one of desperation, to bring in some fast money, more than to create outstanding, or interesting art.

I asked a few attending hosts, "are you an artist?" and "what is this benefit for?" To raise money for this arts collective/creative space. Yet the feeling I had was, many there were dressed in very drab clothing, in muted grays and browns, and the paintings seemed to be thrown together at the last minute, screaming more of a "societal outsider/victim's pain and existential angst, than any sort of real talent or passion. The community felt mainly comprised of people who drink and party a lot, as a form of escapism. I felt very out of place, as if my colorful accessories, love of life, light, transformation, and positivity, was in some kind of direct opposition to the cult of misunderstood, disenfranchised outsider artists. And I'm a fan of outsider art! The art seemed to come out of some drug stupor. I grabbed an orange iced, chocolate cupcake, and excused myself. Walking out I felt relieved to go, feeling really outside of whatever the prevalent fad there was. I thought back to the "Fire Ravaged Room," exhibit, at my friend's San Francisco Art Institute Graduation Show, back in the 80's. "Art instead of therapy!" I thought. Vibrationally I was not at all a match to this energy. I was glad to have given it a chance. I was also glad to keep moving.

Also saw a sweet artist friend, on the road, www.IshkotenDougi.com, one who is showing in an upcoming "Demon show," I too am showing in, with their circle. I honked, sending my hellos through the atmosphere.

Some of the vibrations I encountered, on my Santa Fe Walk About, yesterday included:

love

friendship

victimhood

grief

sickness

discipline

praise

divinity

light

empowerment

leadership

lack

resistance

contraction

self doubt

hiding

drug culture

outsiders

humor

resonance

creativity

soulfulness

expansion

traumatization

self mastery

magic

unity

right livlihood

dearness

connection

outsiders

resentment

gathering

creating

sweetness

fortitude

helpfulness

service

purpose

and

triumph