RAW UNMASKED SHARING

Ink Drawing by Jen

11/1/09

MORNING MOURNING LOSSES OF THE CHOSEN LOST WAY, OF COLLECTIVE EARTH'S HUMANITY. TOURING THROUGH FINDING, LOSING LOST FOUND WAYS.  NEVER FULLY AHEAD OF THE GAME, ALWAYS SECRETLY LEADING, FOLLOWING, RECEIVING BEING RECEIVED, RECEDING BACK, BURSTING FORWARDS, SPIRALING ACROSS, DOWN AND THROUGH.  SHARING INVITATIONS, JOINING IN, CREATING SOMETHING TO SHARE INVITATIONS TO.  VENTURING OUT, VENTURING THROUGH.  SEEING, EXPLORING, AND MEETING EACH OTHER, ALWAYS BEGINNING ANEW.  PLUMMETING INWARD, PROJECTING THIS OUT, THE WAY OF THE ARTIST VENTURING WAY OUT.  EASE IN SHARED KNOWING, AND TENSIONS COME OUT.  WE ARE ONE, WE ARE SOME, WE SHARE, WE GLITTER, WE COME OUT AND REVEAL OURSELVES. EASIER TO EXPOSE OURSELF ON CANVAS, THAN TO CHOOSE WHAT TO WEAR.  WHO WE DARE TO BE REVEALS THROUGH WHO AND HOW WE EXPRESS.  WE MOVE EACH OTHER.  IT IS  VITAL, TAKING OUR SIGHT, CARRYING IT FORTH, TAKING OUR VOICE, LETTING IT RING FORTH, MAKING OUR MARKS, GATHERING AND LETTING THIS SHINE THROUGH.  LEARNING TO LISTEN, AND NOT JUST TO BOAST, POSE AND SHOUT.  LOOKING IN, LISTENING TO, SHINING THROUGH, MAKING CONTACT.

TENDER RAW AND REAL YOU, OLD FRIEND, POET, SPEAKER OF IMAGINATION, TRUTH, HARMONY, VISIONS, DISCONTENT, PEACE BRINGING, SEER, SEEING, WITNESSING CONNECTION, OPENING HEART, INVITING ME IN, CHATTERING OPEN TRUE COMMUNION, OPEN RAW HEART, DRAWING ME IN, HOLDING ME FIRMLY, GENTLY ROOTED, ON A PALETTE, ON YOUR DRAWING ROOM FLOOR.  OPENING HEART AND HEARTH OF FAMILY, HOME, NIGHT, KNOWN.  BEING REAL SELVES, FAMILIAR, UNKNOWN, NEW, UNRAVELING SOUL IN A GOOD WAY.  KNOWING AND SHARING OUR BEST SELVES, PEEKING INTO SOUL REVEALINGS, FROM WARMTH, STRENGTH, KNOWING, FORGETTING, MIRTH, BIRTHING INSTINCTS, BIRTHING LAUGHTER, CUDDLING, HONORING, HONORING FRIENDSHIP, QUESTIONING, "WHAT IS THIS NOW?" "WHAT DO WE KNOW?"  FEELING GOOD.  SHINING THIS INTO OLD DARK SHADOWY PLACES, ADULTS GROW WITHIN.  VEILS ARE THIN. CHILDREN DROPPING IN.  NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING.  NO PRECONCEIVED NEED.  JUST INNOCENT WANDERING, IN SHARING THIS CONNECTION.

FEELING GOOD.  CONNECTION OF HEART WITHIN, CONNECTION OF ART, EXPRESSION OF SOUL DARK AND LIGHT, DEATH AND LIFE, FORGETTING AND KNOWING, HARMONY AND HELL ZONES, ABILITY TO FIGHT, TAKE FLIGHT, LET IT ALL OUT, THROUGH THE RIGHT TO WRITE.  SO TOUGH WITHIN AND WITHOUT, SO GENTLE TOGETHER, TOSSLING, AND TICKLING AND WARMING AT THE FIRE AND MEDICINE OF HEALERS' HEARTS AND HANDS. TEMPERED IN LOVING FRIENDSHIP, GRACEFUL IN CONNECTION, NATURAL, RAW, UNMASKED, UNLABLED, FREE FLOWING, UNNAMED, SHARING SECRETS, ART, PICTURES, POEMS.  TOUCHING, REACHING WITH SOULS HOLDING EACH OTHERS' OWN, IN GENTLENESS.  GENUINE ONES PLAYING TOGETHER, EASILY OPENING SPACES OF SOUL SECRETS, AS WE ALWAYS DO, ON OUR OWN, IN SECRET, IN ART, IN HEART, IN COMMUNION, IN CONNECTION.  NOT OVER THE TOP, NOT SPITEFUL OR MEAN, NO BIG EGOS.  DRESSED RELAXED BLANKETED BODIES, NAKED, COZY, STRIPPED DOWN BARE FREE SOULS.  LETTING EACH ONE SEE AND BE SEEN.  TENDER AND CARING.  GOOD DOCTORING, PLAYING DOCTOR, TICKLING FROM SOUL!

SWEET RARE KNOWING COZY FRIENDSHIP.  GIVING, SHARING, KNOWING, REVEALING. CIRCULAR ART SHOW, CIRCULAR KNOWING.  SWEET FRIENDS IN MASS.  SWEET FRIENDS GATHER, SWEET FRIEND WELCOMES ME WITH KIND EYES.  GATHER SEEING BEAUTY, MEANING, POWER, PURPOSE, ART AND ARTISTS, LIFE AND FAMILY.  CHATTERING ALL NIGHT. FEELING BLESSED.  BEING WELCOMED IN WELCOMING.  SHARING WELCOMING WITH KNOWING FRIENDSHIP, HEART, WITH KNOWING ARTISTS' SOUL.  I SEE SO MUCH OF EACH ONE'S REFLECTION.  INNOCENT IN THIS REAL HEART SPACE.  OPENING UP THE BOOKS OF YOUR LIFE, STREAMING INTO THE BOOKS OF MINE.  TRICKY TRICKSTER TO THOSE NOT INNOCENT ENOUGH TO SEE INTO YOUR HEART.  OPENING ME BACK INTO MY INNOCENT OWN.  GIVING ME FREE REIGN IN THIS INNER SANCTUM.

SHREWD JEWISH OPEN IDEAS ON BLOGGING, PUBLISHING, RECORDING, AND SHARING SUCH BOOKS OF LIFE, SUCH PAINTERS PAINTING.  ARTISTS TEACHING ARTISTS, HEALERS HEALING HEALERS, PAINTERS PAINTING PAINTERS, LOVERS LOVING LOVERS, FRIENDS BEFRIENDING FRIENDSHIP, IN THE FRIEND.  BEING IN THE MOMENT.  DECIPHERING OLD CRYPTIC CLUES, SHARING BRAKE-THROUGHS INTO WHO YOU ARE, AND WHO I AM. COMING BACK AROUND SHARING GRACE AND BEAUTY OF WHO WE ALL ARE, TRUE AND UNMASKED, ON HALLOWEEN, SHARING TREATS, TRICKS, GIFTS, HEART AND TRUTH IN THIS FORTRESS OF FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU!

Inner demons mask INNER DIVINITY

Collaborative Multi Media Painting by Kamajou Tadfor & Jen Klarfeld

www.Ahalenia.com/demons

Dear Groovy Creation:

Please excuse me for weaning off my beautiful hand collaged journals, a whole month ago today, in trade for blogging on my new blog, here.  Tonight I sat down, and picked up my current, bold, art covered journal, collaged in images of bold orange-yellow coral, an orange, expressionistic Jamie Chase painted female figure, a beaded native bag, transformed to a pillow, behind the figure, an older Native Woman, kissing her Man, donning a bold, ceremonial, red, orange, yellow, black and white, headdress, ribbon shirt, beadwork and all,  a beautiful modern Kachina painting by Gregory Lomayesva, and one painted cubist woman in candy colored turquoise green, sky blue, orange-yellow, sky blue, scarlet red, and pale yellow!  Funny as it celebrates my deep love of art, creativity, painting and colors, while I presently find myself, less focused on painting, and more focused on the soul arts!

Still life opens opportunities for me to continue juggling my two highest passions, soul transformation, and process painting, from soul to canvas!

Now I experiment here, crossing the journal and blog, like a genetic writing experiment.  May it all be for good.  Here goes:

I DO FEEL A MASSIVE SHIFT FROM:

• old paradigm to new
• struggling to thriving
• karma to grace
• separation to oneness
• suffering to elation
• fighting against to attracting & surrender
• hiding to revealing
• secrets to openess
• greed & need to sharing & service
• trauma to transformation
• warring to bliss
• feeling lost to sharing understanding
• isolation to unity
• brokenness to wholeness
• disease to healing
• busy-ness to being
• mechanistic to natural
• mutant to real
• lost to multiversal
• density to light
• slavery to freedom
• hurt to well
• following to leading
• cluelessness to knowing
• stuck to growing
• feeling small to divine
• abandonment to connection
• local to cosmic
• hateful to loving
• judging to accepting

I just sat down and explored a guided meditation, to meet my "inner demon," to paint for the upcoming "Inner Demon Show," America Meredith invited me to show in, October 30th, at her Second Street Studio, in Santa Fe.

A local facebook, artist friend, expressed "concern," for why exactly I am dabbling in inner demons?  He said he helps people clear demons and that the subject is not light.  I said, I too help people transform their inner demons, yet I know it can indeed be light, when we open to a larger context.

"What is my primary inner demon?" I wondered, as I forged inward to explore.

At first I saw a male figure, a hurt man.  Then I saw a more expansive indigo, crystal, and violet energy, kind of contracted, very deflated, an energy living like a sponge, or a filter, soaking up so much of the dense, Earthy human rays of hurt, suffering, and sadness.  This energy seemed to learn, from lineages of mothers, how to feel, see, mirror, attract, soak up, and run the energy of pain.  This energy learned to collapse inward and soak up other people's pain.  On Earth, it learned to absorb and reflect the ways of humans.  It learned to stifle its true nature, which is to radiate divine light, from the inside, out.  It learned to withhold this light, this crystal clarity, this cosmic unity, and instead how to suck in and grow dense and clogged with pain, from hurt human beings, taking this pain in, and on, as if its own!

So in talking to me, and me talking to this energy, my inner demon slowly and surely, morphed into my INNER DIVINITY, transforming from "clogged, dense, heavy, suck up," back to indigo, crystal, violet, lavender radiance, feeling colorful, cosmic, and freeing, purposeful, satisfying and true!

The inner demon is really my vast and infinite high vibrational divinity, coming back out to play.

I feel a little too energetically ambushed to leap in and paint this right away.

I saw beautiful energies, colors, and dancing divinity, expanding and unfolding beyond the masks of demon territories.  It may be difficult to paint, express and defend.  Perhaps I will include some of the human masks it has learned, in past, to hide behind.

Within is our VAST DIVINITY.  In a conditioned, warring world, it learns to collapse itself, to hide, and soak up outward pain.  The TRUTH is far more VAST!

Seeing this, as revealed by some of my clients, reminds that a very popular game on Earth, is that of fear, shutting down, and loading up with yucky feelings, thoughts, and vibes.

My inner demon grew up, out of a drive for self protection.  Vast power lives beyond the small hiding poses!  I am living and revealing this freely now!  I am grateful to share in the massive wave of humanity, awakening and sharing this now!

Art & Transformation

In 1989, 20 years ago, while living in San Francisco, I moved into a shared apartment with a woman named Pamela. Pamela was an artist, a teacher, a traveler, and a clairvoyant. She spoke of 'the energy," and gave me a few psychic readings. I was an artist, and found her skills, quite fascinating. I went to the school, called "Psychic Horizons," a spin off of Berkeley Psychic Institute," where I signed up for the first in a series of meditation classes, all in the pursuit, of clairvoyant abilities. The class culminated in the reward of a free "psychic reading," at the end of the classes. It all felt rather mysterious to me. The day I was scheduled for my big PSYCHIC reading, the big EARTHQUAKE rocked San Francisco, shutting most of the city down. I hopped a bus to the school anyway. They gave me an "earthquake check." I thought my SOUL must have some pretty BIG information, to coincide with a big quake, the same evening!

Since then I have shared many amazing experiences, learning more about clear seeing, which led to learning SHAMANIC JOURNEYING, through the Foundation for Shamamism, which led, one way or another, to my studies of HYPNOTHERAPY, at the schools listed on my links.

Years later, I studied at my third clairvoyant training school, called The Center for Inner Truth, in Santa Fe, NM. Julie, the school's director used to lead these wonderful evening workshops, including a series on the chakras. These workshops guided participants to gain guidance from within. During one of these, she asked us, to ask, our own guidance, "what is our true calling?" or some similar question, which led me to an answer for myself! The answer I received internally was deep & profound, much of it dropping so deep, I am not even sure, exactly what it said. Yet the two words I do remember are "TRANSFORMATION & CREATIVITY!" The guidance was something like, "your two greatest passions are TRANSFORMATION & CREATIVITY!"

I have traversed through many crossroads since then, finding my way back to my old, dear, true love & grand passion of TRANSFORMATION through hypnotherapy. I began this path in 1991, seeking the root cause of some neck pain, that indeed I found through one session of Alchemical Hypnotherapy. This is just one of the many facets of trance-work tools, I am presently weaving together, intuitively, in my practice, Trailblazing Transformation!

As I open up facilitating this TRANSFORMATION, in myself, and with my fellow TRAILBLAZERS, I feel a great sense of AWE, EMPOWERMENT, GRACE, BALANCE & reSOURCEfulness! I am deeply moved & inspired by the courage of those drawn to this work, and to me as a facilitator, to dive in deep, and ALLOW, deep shifts, from the core of their being.

I feel deeply blessed!

I am also excited seeing this as a continuum, this energy of TRAILBLAZING TRANSFORMATION & CREATIVITY.

In addition to opening my hypnotherapy practice, I am opening, along side 11 of my artist friends, in a group art show at www.TarnofffArtCenter.com, my friend Laura Tarnoff's art studio, & art center, in Rowe, New Mexico, this weekend. This show is part of the larger show, running Saturday & Sunday, September 26th & 27th, www.PecosStudioTour.com

When people ask me, what kind of art do you do? I say, "I am a visual artist, who loves to paint, & loves color, cultures, people, abstract expressionism, & more!" I say, "I am focusing more on the ART OF THE SOUL, right now." Tragedy -times- TRANSFORMATION = Triumph!

Soon it will all be a seamless dance, between SOUL ART & VISUAL ART! It is exciting, feeling so RIPE, birthing ALL of this!

Befriending fellow AMAZING CREATORS, in LIFE & online, inspires me on so many levels.

I shared this inspiration with my AMAZING CREATOR FRIEND Laura, the other day. I said, "You know, one really radiant, spiritual artist friend, across the continent, Brenadette Charles, is self publishing a book of her art, poetry, spiritual insights and more. I would love to author and publish my own, multi media, expressive book about my journey, art, insights and more, to share with fellow EXPLORERS on the path!" Laura is genuinely excited and encouraging about this.

After I traveled to Cameroon, six or so years ago, friends and family encouraged me to publish my journal of the unique experience. Yet I always knew, there is more to my story to share, than merely my amazing travel log. I want to share highlights of the larger journey, the journey of my soul. And I am, here & now. Yes, this is a good start.

In celebration of the LIGHT of our TRUE BEING, fellow STARSEED!

JOYFUL TRAILBLAZING!

Jen

Now I have a blog! Hip Hip Hooray!

www.myspace.com/jenuineindigo1

Now I have a blog. Hip Hip Hooray!

I Love sharing & listening to & with humanity.

Now I have a blog, and I always have some new insights to share and to say!

I have mastered myspace, facebook, twitter, & more. Still now I have a blog, and can blog forevermore.

Once I had a website, when I traveled to Cameroon. Yet now I am back home in Santa Fe, and am new to blogger.com

So, as I juggle a big group art show this weekend, and the auspicious start to my soulful hypnotherapy business, Trailblazing Transformation, the new Jewish year of 5770, the new energies of our Earthly journey and more, I am gleeful to play here, and proudly announce, "I have a blog!"

My journals are like empires, some alive and some lost. And I feel so incredibly good about all of this now, as I have a blog.

Looking forward to exploring around, and learning what friends old & new do with a blog!

Much LOVE & LIGHT to our virtual Kin

Jen