TODAY: My car has a flat tire, my new client blew me off, my cat made a very tall secret pile of shit that revealed it's dried out remains to me... all this morning.
Last night I denied myself of my full rights to sleep.
Today I punished my cats with a surly attitude, a dramatic opera of screaming, and big bumpy delays on the road to breakfast...
Today I punished my self with a surly attitude, a dramatic opera of screaming, and big bumpy delays on the road to breakfast...
I am tired of competing to gain freedom, secure my home, build my career, & to acquire all that I blew off, rebelling against what seemed unreal & unhappy. Tired of a rat race I was never remotely attracted to.
Tired of writing myself out of the starring role in my own life expression, more than I realize. Tired of the uncertainty I dish out as my reality, every single day. Tired of putting up false fronts of strength and leadership, when I too am falling apart, frequently.
Tired of chasing my tail and landing nowhere new.
Tired of the politics, pains and dramas of this world.
Tired of being human, when I could be a jaguar, or a house cat!
Tired of spam & scam artists' e-mails & phone calls.
Exhausted from overtaxed adrenals, hyper sensitivity, PTSD, codependency... taking too much too personally, from recycling like it's a Renaissance art form, & from seeing too much from what I read in people's eyes, before they even talk to me.
Tired from the human majority orientation to predatory hustling our sister and brother man!
Tired of taking on high maintenance everything.
Tired of thinking I know what I am here to do, and how to do it.
Tired of my controlling mind, and my inability to run away whenever I want to.
Tired of marketing and managing a life that costs so much more than it earns me still.
Tired of doing it all alone & believing I have to.
Tired of being enemies with routine, planning, budgeting, money, time, numbers, patriarchy, and the entire left side of the brain.
Tired of not collaborating, dancing, & playing more.
Tired of locking myself indoors, like a prisoner, when I have free will, and a hankering for the great outdoors, let alone physical movement.
Tired of all these problems we have in human form.
Tired of complaining, mine, yours, and most of us here.
Tired of my loud mind!
Tired of telling myself I feel lonely, then feeling lonely to match.
Tired of being unloving to myself.
Tired of being unloving with others.
Tired of feeling trapped, alone, poor, and hopeless.
Tired of acting helpless, martyred & enslaved.
Grateful this is temporary, and that who I truly am is vast, beautiful, powerful, influential, divine, inspirational, GUIDED, connected, gifted and free!
Grateful to live on an amazing planet, in this amazing oasis.
Grateful to live in a beautiful, peaceful, earthy home, where I can swear, yell, scream and cry, without pestering anyone, or attracting the police!
Grateful to be alive, experience feelings, enjoy receptivity, develop mastery, acknowledge biases, and step in shit once in a while.
Grateful for my breath and my body.
Graced and grateful: I'm a woman!
Grateful I get to follow my heart & ricochet back from feelings of powerlessness... to experiences of freedom.
Grateful for my expansive consciousness, and our ability to run towards, often!
Grateful for my bold heart.
Grateful for my expressive nature.
Grateful for my curiosity. Grateful for my knowing.
Grateful I am the Mother Father Goddess God Presence... when I shut up & listen, or when I talk right over my own vast sparkling divinity & wholeness.
Glad I am this loud, messy, impassioned, original, one of a kind, go-getter.
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| Jen Klarfeld, Lead Trailblazer at Trailblazing Transformation |
Glad I love so much!
Grateful for my messy, beautiful immediate family, birth family, soul family, earth family, galactic family, heavenly family, unseen family, & Land of Enchantment family, as well as you: my virtual family!
Grateful & graced by my love of life & colors, people & creatures, nature & beauty, culture & soul expression, perception, writing, dancing, singing, music, art, books & more!
Grateful for my love, my friends, my community circles, my heroes, my peeps, my weaknesses, my lessons, & my strengths.
Grateful for my sense of humor & my utterly comical human love-life.
Grateful for my passions & for my Pinterest page:
Who knew a bulliten board could be so gy-normous!
Grateful for my ADHD Attention Dialed into a Higher Dimension & my lower nature, embodied right here, (within my full nature!)
Grateful for my ability to walk and talk, and the fact the one family birthed and sent me away, and another received me, cleaned my dirty butt, and nourished my body, mind, spirit, soul & being!
Grateful to be edjumacated, each and every day.
Grateful for my Thunderbird Nature, which jars the crap out of me and others, every time a thunderbolt hits the ground from our collective being!
Grateful for the contrast pushing me towards what truly fulfills me, in place of what I historically settled for, or convinced myself would.
Grateful for my juiciness!
Grateful for my successes and failures, and ours as a collective, and for all the guidance we receive from SOURCE, Angels, Archangels, Spirit Guides, Power Animals, Companions, Family, Friends, & Soul Kin.
Grateful for the collective of vast radiant galactic beings, of whom we are made.
Grateful for stories, songs, paintings, baskets, weavings, poetry, dance, theater, prints, photos, sculpture, rivers, clouds, earth, stars, planets, and sky!
Grateful for who we all are, our human mis-steps, mistakes, problems, grievances, imperfections, brokeness, troubles, and blues.
Grateful for our torrential human mood swings. What would music be without them?
Grateful for our tears, and giggles... burps and wiggles.
Grateful for our human pain and suffering, and the truths these hide and reveal.
Grateful for the opportunity to laugh, cry, break, heal, war within, rise above, and kiss someone real.
Grateful for who we all are and our daring & courage to even attempt to create heaven right here in embodiment, let alone our ability to get a foothold, and build a fine & decent foundation.
Grateful for all the tricksters, heyokas, clowns, & bullies, who show up to polish our diamond light and ignite profound flames of mirrors and lesson.
Grateful for all my resistance, that unwieldily anchor to all human suffering!
Goddess bless allowing, certainty, knowing, greatness, freedom, purpose, rhythm, fluidity, humility, trust and love!
Goddess bless us all!
Infinite cheers to you and to me, and to all of us... and the muddy, bloody, shiny, sparkly adventures we slog through each and everyday, in human form. If this were all it was for, it would make for a pretty sad & strenuous set up.
Yet if our souls set this all into motion with grand purpose and design, as I sense, trust and know is so, then we're giants, blazing this bright freedom trail to a bold, expressive heaven, right smack in the middle of who we all are!
Phew!
Grateful that while I was twisting and fussing, wreathing and screaming at my loss of control within the human game... it's morphed into a truly glorious beautiful day!
Shine on Beloved Kindred Ones!
Flat tire photo credit: from the Discount Tire Blog... Google images search.
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