Life Review

October 26, 2017 - Santa Fe, New Mexico

Reviewing and sharing this inspiring Facebook post I wrote 3 days before my life & body jarring fall off a ladder, last year. 

Grateful to be healed, over all. 

The last 2 years has been initiatory in ways I never fully realized I had to be this strong to traverse, survive, feel, move through, gather support, and keep taking steps, through all my giant human fears, and commitments, financial, emotional, business, calling, Soul and life challenges!

It’s been really hard, and really rewarding, being single, being mostly visionary, and often attempting to grow and sustain my life and serve, while living in a business prioritizing world and nation, so fueled by predatory systems, and people. I have shut myself down a tremendous amount, in pure survival, while still keeping my my practice alive, and taking precarious steps, often alone, to birth a whole New Earth Vision, dream and business, as has been handed to me to allow, build and free.

As an empath, a Starseed, and a survivor of Narcissistic Abuse, it’s been harder than I ever bargained for. My heart is tender for all of us, who came into this Earth Plane from our respective homes and travels. I have exceptional gratitude for my Source Self, always steering my way, even when I freeze, fight, fly away, or hide, alone for long periods of transition.

I listened to a phenomenal Starseed Radio Academy Interview of Author Diana Luppi -Zoev Jho, last night, while taking grounded steps to prep my new downtown studio space.

Diana is the author of E.T. 101 an amazing manuel for Earthlings, and for the brave Starseed beings, who quite literally came in to shift millions of human lineages up out of trauma, war, abuses, enslavement and more.

You don’t have to be a specific race or color to shoulder the pain of human discord. We all came in and share in carrying, clearing, transforming, and witnessing the madness that’s passed for the shared human experience. Without music, we might not have been able to rise like the phoenix uplifting us all!

Suffice to say, I learned to put on a tough warrior stance to make it this far. The smiling, original, party-going, caring, dancing, trailblazing, perceptive, visionary, ever networking, creative socialite face I show the world, is not my whole experience. I battle my shadow, fear, shame, blame, doubt, and inner turmoil daily. In fact I bless it. It’s a huge part of this compassion school. 

This recent two years have brought tests and many ignored obligations for me to face and remedy somhow, as spiritual being, mainly a soul, in my experience. I am visiting this world, yet again, and steeped in material culture, pitched to us as evolution. Yet this world is a ghetto in our Multiverse, filled with systems, patterns and people at war within, and projecting war, parasitic patterns, predatory behaviors and huge covert predatory systems.

Learning, embodying, and voicing the deeper truth of who we are, is the bridge, solution, prize, guidance and answer to the call and response... hide and go seek, God Source forgetting our fullness, forgetting our divine feminine majesty... game!
In the recent years, I had to slow down and feel
my human fallibility, my limitations, and my real feelings. I have not finished yet. 

I also feel called to experience, express, enliven and enjoy my holy divine innocence.

Making room for all of this... for joy, simplicity, love, friendship, play and service.

Stepping out of the shackles I’ve lived, worn, carried and inherited within lineages, has been quite the formidable task. We’re stripping these binds away, together.
It’s quite the game, and quite the dance.

I don’t always know how to get from here to there, down here. And still here I am, opening to allowing the integration back into my true, new, fullness.

What a wild game of make believe.

I feel my strength slowly bounding back to me.

Easing into the ripeness, many know me by, to embody it directly for me.... to let my way be led from within, by Grace, through love, and with Heart.

It’s been surprisingly jarring, on many fronts. A shamanic dismemberment for the whole world.

What a Team I have embracing, uplifting and helping in our grand upshiftment!

Graced, awed, shocked, alarmed, and cheered, in deep Grace, Faith and Unity...Beloved Rainbow Warriors!
I love you Wild Team. 

What tough, brave and tender loving stuff we’re made of!

I love you! 💕❤️😘

October 26, 2017 Santa Fe, New Mexico

Hello Beloveds!

I just want to share some giant encouragement & say: hold on to your hats... !

Change is hitting this ripe and ready planet at such high levels.

Three friends have flown the coop of Earth, recently, leaving tears and love on their beautiful wakes!

The gifted are exploding with gifts, injustices all rising into the light of transparency and scrutiny, and people facing the tough shadow stuff, we're facing it head on, fast and furious, as is our Mother Earth!

Hearts are expanding, while imbalances once tolerated, are are no longer supported or allowed, as our truth rises ALOUD!

The Multiverse is watching, supporting, cheering us on, and eagerly drawing closer, as we awaken & blast open and off into our full "ON" settings!

Keep your humor levels on high, and your super compassion accessible, free flowing, and shared.

These are fantastic times for birthing your full heart and soul, right here.

Feel free to remind me of any of this, as we move forward!
Who loves you dearly?

I do!

Plus an infinite array of light beings and inter-dimensional winged ones! We all love you too!

Stay blessed.

Keep loving, cherishing, relishing, valuing, treasuring and seeing each unique, beautiful, bold living being!
I know it feels like we're being thrown under the bus, several times a freakin day!

Yet keep surfing it, my cherished friends and family.
And if you feel like you can't freakin handle it, call in your angels, unseens, galactics, ancestors, tree spirits, tree huggers, power animals, beings who have not actively fucked up this planet... beings who have... whatever works for you!
Know that I love you, and I am so so so blessed, and I am lifted up on my highest wings, in sharing this beguiling, mad, passionate journey with you all!

Thanks for being my Love Team!
What Courageous Souls we all truly are!!!
I salute each and every shining one of you... and every large and small act of love, and change you each live through and bring, in the awakening of divinity within this family of humanity.

You are precious to me. 

Know that forever!!!

And to the sensitive souls that had to use their break out of jail cards early... I sure treasure you dearly. Enjoy the extraordinary show on Earth.

Our commitment is to turn the love vibrations high... and abolish the war vibration so we'll, that you'll be first in line to birth into this planet of love and bliss, cause that's our manufacturing plan for the now and future!

x o x o

Heart Opening Amidst Shared #MeToo's

October 16, 2017, 11:47 PM

My heart ❤️ is really spilling over, not because I am openly sharing my personal accounts of countless experiences of sexual harassment, being flashed by naked male strangers and friends, the uninvited unzip, date rape, attempted rape and more... as I am also reading countless accounts of mostly women, yet a few brave male friend’s posts too... my heart is spilling over, feeling the shift into this, our new world, 🌎 where 5 million women, and men are sharing our experiences around interfacing with sexual predators, and the accompanying trauma we’ve lived with and through, every day. Social situations are & can be an intense and jarring experience. And I’ll tell you now, that on-line dating has had it’s share of PTSD provoking moments as well, for me. 

According to Facebook, "4.7 million people around the world have engaged in the 'Me Too' conversation on Facebook in solidarity with victims of sexual assault and sexual harassment." 

All this in the last 24 - 48 hours, and it’s spreading to France, and next... anywhere & possibly everywhere this transparency catches fire!

As a single woman, I like that a prospective date can google me, and see how boldly outgoing I am, and know that if he has sexual predator skeletons in the closet, prison records, and name changes, attempting to cover up these tarnishes to his record, I’m likely a huge flight risk.

One of the last men on a spiritual singles site, I met, actually had changed his name to hide his criminal record as a sexual predator. He had not been caught raping anyone. Yet he was on a lifetime probation of sorts, having to check in with the police and get a new mug shot annually, for multiple charges of exposing his personal pride and glory to a couple of female children. On an early phone call, he became very volatile with me, and then attacked my dietary choices. In the heat of the turbulence, me and my angel team, got him to spill forth more of his real names.

I am grateful I was protected in such an amazing bizarre way, which led to his true identity and police records. At the same time I have compassion for the human being whom I met, and his African American lineage, where brutality, abuse, and rape was likely introduced over generations, through America's history of slavery. I would not publicly expose his names, yet the story is profound. I was attempting to help a friend see the danger in her, now terminated relationship, with her, admittedly dangerous felon partner, as her friends & family exposed to me his same pattern of several name changes, to dodge and hide his criminal history.

I am moved by the reality that some men are already standing up in protection of us women, and some revealing predatory, or harassment activities, they joined peer pressure, into participating in.

As a ThetaHealer a Past Life Regression Hypnotherapist, and a facilitator of Dolores Cannon’s QHHT, and one grounded in shamanic journeying, it is an awesome experience to get to assist people through multiple levels of such traumas, healing, feeling old closed down feelings, and more.

Again, my experience is that all people we label as “perpetrators & sexual predators” have some wounding victim experiences in their own past. I’ve experienced more gray space in this exploration, than black and white!
I am completely awed, strengthened and faith filled, trailblazing side by side, hand in hand, with my fellow brave Sisters and Brothers, Family and Friends, clients and associates, who have battled such hardships, traumas, and challenges, of sexual and other forms of abuse. Many to go on to create art and express voices and visions to truly reshape this earth. You people... we people are my hero’s, including Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, Louise Hay, founder of Hay House Publishing, Teal Swan, and Wayne Dyer, who spoke so openly about his alcoholic father. Many abuse survivors go on to become powerful compassionate Healers. I don’t honor it often enough, yet in truth, both of those categories include me. 

Thank you all my peers. Thank you to my Earth brothers Harvey Weinstein, Donald Trump, Bill Cosby, & Bill Clinton, and for fueling our healing!

And hand in hand, got your back, protective, encouraging safety and love, to all my friends and family who have lived through traumas of rape, the spectrum of sexually predatory behaviors, assaults, mugging, harassments, emotional, verbal, physical, and narcissistic abuses, and war.

To me, when I look at the outrageous corruption, in all the major systems on living Mama Gaia, I see we still live amidst systems that are crazed travesties of predatory expressions of war.

When my vegetarian, vegan, artist, teacher Friend Pamela recently expressed her deep secret views, fears, sensitivities and research into what is sick and out of balance about the meat & livestock industry, I was really mad, shocked, and defensive. I still enjoy an omnivorous diet. In fact for me as an adoptee, food and meat are a form of security.

Yet after some awkward shared on-line debates with Pam, even though I am still eating meat, of all varieties, I did get a big "aha," that our current meat consumption in America, & beyond, as well as the mistreatment of billions of animals, drugged, imprisoned, and treated inhumanely, until death by slaughtering to feed, billions of habitual carnivore humans like me, is still really a crude expression of war, more than a conscious, kind celebration of life.

So in closing, this wild vulnerable explosion💥 of truth around sexual abuses, has been, and continues triggering a mass cleansing of human Earthly souls! It’s opening us all up together, which is really the richest and most healing surprise. Like the natural disasters, this is uniting us beyond class, color, race and age lines! We’re only getting started.
It feels the Woodstock of humanity's sexual abuse, and their/our resulting trauma’s most giant global group therapy ever! And what’s super wild, is how it’s all free!

Hugs and love my mighty Shero’s and Hero’s.
The Goddess is arising!

The giant shame anchoring secret & lie of my life, was that I was the only 14 year old girl on my freshman high school class, feeling both joy and shame, for participating in the exact same kind of sexual experimentation, & coming of age exploits, the boys were taught to seek out, and take pride in, and brag to the world about!

Those days of double standards died today. That’s why I like and love ❤️ us and what we all survived. Because we contributed to the transformation, and to bringing transparency back into vast arrays of this living world. We set ourselves, our histories, traumas, cultures, streets, communities, timelines, and lineages as well as women, men, children, elders and babies... and our world 🌎 free today!

What a grand passage we are initiating, for all, and beyond time!

I feel clear and free, with some residual sadness.
I feel like we’re taking a curtain call & starting a whole new show. Let’s treat each other accordingly! 

I love you ❤️ my brave Family!

Me Too

 

October 16, 2017, 4:00 PM

Facebook says there are about a million and a half women, and people sharing #MeToo - in response to the invitation to share and raise awareness on the question, and hot as hell topic of “Have you been sexually harassed assaulted and or abused?” 

I’m 52, female & outspoken, open minded, open hearted, outgoing, impassioned and social. So are you kidding me?... I could write a book on the countless times I can say absolutely, “metoo” and the countless times I’ve blurred the lines between sex and love, power over, and healthy attention, right up to this very moment. 

And yes, as a woman, I have definitely misused my sexuality to get my own needs met, and hold some sort of power over men socialized to not say “no” to sexuality, women, or the intoxicating combination of both! It’s a murky spectrum from the innocence & joy of enchantment and attraction, interaction and attention, to the extremes of brutality, abuse, Narcissistic abuses, power over, conquering & our bizarre socialization, which often empowers forms of sexual terrorism. Let’s call it what it is #SexualTerrorism !

May our millions turn to billions, as in truthful, direct open conversations, on social media, blog posts, in cafe’s, therapeutic settings, private dialogs between friends and family, youth and elders, and all of women who have voice to give to genuine experiences of trauma, harm, abuse, betrayal and misuse of power.

Some are even married, while still enslaved by modern shackles of money, Narcissist partners, abuse, misogyny, control, and betrayal. These are the women and men who can’t blog today about how many women their husbands have had secret affairs with, because their lifestyle, (ie) current survival, may be locked down in a sea of lies. Easier to share tales of dick picks, and uninvited unzips in cars, and gropes in social settings, than some of what still passes for abuse, harassment and abuses of power, right here at home.
The soul has more to share, say and heal around this, if you know you are primarily a soul. If not give it a few lifetimes, as you come back and play all roles!

Last night I saw a few friends’ big bold posts of #MeToo. “What do they mean?” I wondered. When I searched on Facebook, around 36,000 people were posting about our experiences with sexual predators, abuses and the whole spectrum of sexual assault. Less than 24 hours later millions of people on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook are opening up our vulnerability, our personal histories, and memories of sexual abuse. 

Some of my memories go back as early as womb time, as an Adoptee. I got off to a kind of savvy start, only a lot of this came into consciousness some time in my late thirties. Some confirmed, & some never can be. Still a patchwork quilt in process, as for all of us, featuring secrets, lies, experiences and stories active in our lineages, our DNA, our memories, our histories, our past lives, and more. At times this added vulnerability and magnetism to attracting predatory men and people, as well as sexual predators into my often open, innocent, pure hearted nature, field and life!Throughout my journey, this also attuned my 6th sense, my knowing, my instinctual intuitive knowing, and my empathy around friends, pets and people who have both been victims to abuse, and also predators of people!

There have been so many instances where my radar has picked up on children, women and people’s signals which vibe out as red flags of sexual predatory abuses. 

I have, for the most part, barged in and spoken my fears, and knowings. Most of the time I have been met with barriers, ingrained generational and cultural walls, where I can get information in, yet I can not get it out, or make a difference. I have also learned to honor karma. If my path involved these countless instances of sexual abuse, projection and harm, and yours includes your flavors and styles, maybe there is a line in the sand, my soul is not authorized to cross.

So at times I have been scapegoated, ostracized, criticized, and attacked by people in life, for asking the obvious and impossible questions. There are a lot of conversations I would still welcome, and share, with those who have not yet been able to open to them. I have grown into deeper acceptance, that sometimes the best I can do is bud in, test the responses, bud out, and trust, that’s their soul’s journey, and ultimately business between God, and them, for now!
Our memories (the stuff that shaped us,) as well as our communities, schools, religions, workplaces, families, travels, governments, the collective, the media, and our larger history, are filled with abuses of power. Our sexual expression and communication is a giant outlet, where the shadow of these traumas, abuses, healing, and empowerment all takes place!

I came home and filled 2 note pads with my own memories of falling prey to sexually predatory people, and experiences. I read more, and the more I read, the more buried memories were triggered.

The more I remember, process, and read, the more I feel, sadness, rage, faith, hope, validation, healing, acceptance, blame, shame, pain, relief, release, forgiveness, and ultimately empowerment.

Truth is, we’re living on madly raped, pillaged, stolen land, amidst a young, predatory, invader race nation, built upon the revenges of war, conquest, enslavement, rape, genocide, destruction, misogyny, class & race wars, and rampant ongoing terrorism and destruction. 

Thank Goddess, that’s not the only truth. The bigger truth centers as we rise, speak, spread, and share these, our truths. 

My truth and feeling is, we presently face the peril of tragically remaining closed, broken victims and perpetrators, regarding sexual, race, class and all forms of power abuses, if we do not include the soul, in our material experiences!
In other words, shamanism, therapy, voicing truth tenderly and listening to friends voice theirs, the arts, spiritual community, books, film, media, social networks, music, and all the arts, anchor my crucial awakening, renewal, healing and empowerment! I am proud, ecstatic, grateful, and filled to overflowing, to gift and share, receive and be gifted, and also to steward and possess tools and a voice to inspire, empower, and facilitate the empowerment of my self and my fellow explorers, through the ravages of this old world, as it is collapsing.

No topic to take lightly, to me, and simultaneously I feel such a gusher of pure power unleashed in our coming together, illuminating our traumas, fears, experiences and tears, your experiences and vulnerabilities, and my own. 

This is true power #TruePower !
This is #Empowerment !
This is #PowerWith & #TruePower !
This is the true power I’m talking about!
This empowerment conversation absolutely includes openly expressing our sexual power, and within it, sharing our experiences of sexual trauma, abuses of power, and ultimately our healing, our realizations, our transformations, and our triumphs. 

I came here to live and tell a victor’s story. My victim story is embedded in my larger story of transformation, healing, truth, trust, vision and openness. 

I am this empowerment story. I let the expression of these emergent Souls upshifting, uplift and inform me.
Women are powerful, sexuality is powerful, men are, and can be powerful, and we carry long long lineages of abuses of every kind and style.

Here is a response I wrote , to another “metoo”Jennifer post:
“A powerful share, Jennifer. Thank you. You triggered a memory I had buried, of working alone in a rugby shirt shop, in San Francisco, when a Handsome young male Mexican tourist spent a long time in the dressing room, only to flash me naked, while I was in my young 20’s, while alone in the small shop. Weirdly he was polite afterwards, and claimed it was part of an experiment for his college psychology class. I think I smiled and said, “I don’t think so!”
As you bring up, it’s a fine line, as long as we are in physical embodiment!

As women we’re taught to be healthy, beautiful, impassioned and warm. We are also all of these innately, and more.
It’s rampant. We joke about it. Saturday night I was out at a gallery opening where the topic turned to “the power of the pussy.” This is the weirdest world 🌎! May we keep healing, rising and guiding our betterment, here on her. Sadly the raping and pillaging of women, children and people, has carried out into the rape of the world! We are here turning it around. I feel so much heart and soulful empowerment as we rise up and openly share our “MeToo‘s!"

I feel like mine needs and deserves a whole screenplay! Still mulling it all over & all I’ve come to, on the healing path of empowerment!

I read people & their body language. I hug almost everyone. I have become close friends with a fair number of men who started out with creepy overtones. Some of them, I later learned were victims themselves of sexual abuse. Often I am overly trusting and open. Throughout my life this trips men’s switches. I have been streaked at alone, a minimum of 3 times. Well more if you include those guys whose clothes I couldn’t get back on! One streaker was actually an inebriated homeless man, pleasuring himself naked, in an open trench coat. That haunted me for a while. 

Everyone’s posts are triggering my aha’s, empathy, compassion, healing, wounding, memories, resilience & how profoundly powerful we are!


Women and humans are packed with power.
The perpetrators were all formed into perpetrators, in part through being victimized first. It’s a broad spectrum, this predatory sexuality. You expressed well the small moments of socialization, where hurt people express hurt in sick ways, on us, so to speak.

Thanks for adding your awareness to ours!”
- Jen Klarfeld #metoo